What do you see now?
Court Psychiatrist: [Holding up inkblot card] Okay, now tell me what you see, Alan.
Alan Musgrave: Flowers. Hmmm...tulips, jonquils, and roses. They're long-stemmed American Beauty roses, actually.
Court Psychiatrist: [flipping to new inkblot card, irritated] Uh - concentrate. Try a little harder.
Alan Musgrave: [sharply inhaling]. Birds. Trees. [Sudden interest, taking card from psychiatrist] Oh, and there's a river! A river, winding lazily through green pastures....
Court Psychiatrist: [interrupting] You're fighting me.
Alan Musgrave: [continuing] ....oh, it's so peaceful. On the banks are happy children....
Court Psychiatrist: [ignoring him, filing her nails] Don't fight me, Alan.
Alan Musgrave: [continuing]....clouds, lots of clouds -- [gets out of chair and sits on desk, showing inkblot to psychiatrist] Look! One of them looks just like the Easter Bunny! Huh.
Court Psychiatrist: [takes inkblot from him, looks him in the eye, condescending] Alan, I want to help you. Now, don't you realize that these things are supposed to be dirty?
Alan Musgrave: [Surprised] Dirty? [Looks at new inkblot card, shakes head] No. That's a butterfly. A brightly colored butterfly....
Court Psychiatrist: [leaps up from desk, throws all inkblots at Alan in extreme anger] You are hostile! You are hostile, you little creep! You creep, you hostile creep!
Alan Musgrave: Shhhhh! Doctor, shhhhh! [motions with hand to sit down] Doctor, what are you hiding from? Your whole pattern suggests a rigidity syndrome of severe underlying anxiety, massive repressions and pathological prejudices. All of which makes it very difficult for me to relate to you! So if you really want me to talk, get me my tape recorder.
Court Psychiatrist: [steaming] Anything else?
Alan Musgrave: Now that you mention it, you might get me my transistor radio. And a corned beef sandwich. On rye. No mustard.
-- from the 1966 movie Lord Love A Duck