As We Forgive Those Who Sin Against Us

Standing on My Head ^ | 6/13/2010 | Fr. Dwight Longenecker

[markomalley]

Is forgiveness conditional? Yes and No. God's forgiveness and mercy is unconditional because it is part of his nature. He forgives because that's how he is made. He has mercy because he is the source of mercy. However forgiveness is conditional inasmuch as we need to claim it to make it real. It's a gift on offer, but God will not force us to receive it.

Therefore, not only do we need to ask for forgiveness in order to receive it, but we have to act on that request. We tend to separate our actions from our intentions. God doesn't see it that way. The action and the intention are one. Therefore, if we ask for forgiveness, but we are unwilling to do what it takes for that forgiveness to become real, then the request was hollow. What we need to do to make the request real is to act on the request and make reparation and part of that reparation is to be willing to forgive those who have offended against us.

When someone says to me, "Father, so and so offended me very greatly, but it's ok. I've forgiven them." I'm skeptical. It sounds too pat. It sounds too easy. It sounds like they're talking to themselves and making it all nice again in order to continue the self delusion that they are nice people. I tend to think that if a person says, "It's alright, I've forgiven that person." that they weren't really hurt that badly to start with. Either that or they're fibbing.

What I am more likely to find authentic is the person who says, "Father, that person offended me badly and I feel awful because I just can't forgive." 

"Exactly!" is my reply "The Pharisees were right when they said, 'Who can forgive sins but God alone.'" Consequently I advise that we cannot forgive on our own. We can only do so through the grace of God and the benefits of the cross and the action of Christ's forgiveness through us. Therefore when we are asked to forgive others the prayer should be, "Lord, I can't forgive, but you can. I am giving you this person, this situation, this impossible offense. You forgive because I can't. You help me to let it go. You forgive through me."

Now that's a prayer that works for Jesus promises to take these offenses and forgive through us. It is his blood shed on the cross that forgives, and nothing else. We can claim that redemption and it is our duty to do so. Thus we can forgive as we are asking forgiveness for it is one and the same action. Christ forgiving us and Christ forgiving others through us.

As a result our prayer and our own forgiveness becomes a wide spreading mercy. Our own forgiveness is not simply an individualistic thing, but a corporate. This is why in the Confiteo at Mass we say, "I confess to Almighty God and to you my brothers and sisters..." This is because sin offends the whole community and as we ask forgiveness we do so in the corporate sense as well. So 'Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us' echoes with a deeper meaning and a more eternal and cosmic significance than simply, "Help me to forgive the people who have hurt me."

Instead it becomes a great intercessory prayer pleading for forgiveness not only for ourselves, but for the whole world.

[markomalley]

Fr. Longenecker is chaplain to St. Joseph's High School in Greenville, SC. A graduate of Bob Jones University, he studied theology at Oxford. After a stint as a country parson in the UK, he converted to Catholicism in 1995. He was ordained a Catholic priest in 2006.

[CyberAnt]

I disagree with this statement: “God’s forgiveness and mercy is unconditional because it is part of his nature.”

If that were true .. there would have been no need for Noah’s Ark; or Jesus.

God’s forgiveness as seen THROUGH JESUS .. is the real forgiveness. It was a forgiveness purchased by the blood of Jesus. When we are partakers of the blood of Jesus, we are able to receive forgiveness, from the Father through the Son.

Under the Old Covenant, the Bible clearly says, that “God’s mercy is new every morning” .. it does not say His forgiveness is unconditional because it’s a part of His nature. While God was merciful under the Old Covenant, true forgiveness did not come without the sacrifice of Jesus - by placing His Own blood upon the altar for the forgiveness of sins, “once for all”.

[Retain Mike]

Forgiveness extended to others is something we should do for our own personal health. In a way it is very selfish, because repentance is the only action which can benefit the other person. I like what Jim Brass said on CSI. “Don’t let him live rent free in your mind.”

[marron]

When someone says to me, "Father, so and so offended me very greatly, but it's ok. I've forgiven them." I'm skeptical. It sounds too pat. It sounds too easy. It sounds like they're talking to themselves and making it all nice again in order to continue the self delusion that they are nice people. I tend to think that if a person says, "It's alright, I've forgiven that person." that they weren't really hurt that badly to start with. Either that or they're fibbing.

He could give a little more credit to the teachings of his own faith. Forgiveness is also a discipline that can be taught and learned. Its also a muscle that can develop. If you are taught your entire life that you must forgive, you find a way to do it. And when you can't from your own resources, you also know to pray and ask for what you have not or can not.

The church has been in the business of teaching forgiveness for a couple of millenia now. We don't all get it all the time but we do get it at least some of the time.

Otherwise, his point is well taken. When you can't, God can for you and you'll follow along behind and catch up as time goes along.

[SIRTRIS]

The thing I do find perplexing about the notion of sin is that we keep repeating it. Is the bible meant to be preventative or reactive?

[Salvation]

But under the New Law we got the Lord’s Prayer.

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

[Salvation]

**The thing I do find perplexing about the notion of sin is that we keep repeating it.**

We are weak with our free will. That is why the graces received in the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Penance/Confession) can help us to avoid that sin in the future.

[stuartcr]

Since God creates us knowing what we will do and when, sin (as an offense against God), doesn’t really exist?

[irishtenor]

***He forgives because that’s how he is made.***

I would have to disagree with this statement on several grounds.
He forgives his children, but is unforgiving to those who rejected him.
He forgives not because he is made that way. God is not, nor never was, “made”. God always was and always will be.
He forgives because he wants to, to whom he wants to.

[CyberAnt]

Hmmmm .. But wasn’t it Jesus who taught us to pray that prayer ..?? I believe it was Jesus who said, “When you pray, pray this way”. He was trying to get people into agreement with the “new kingdom” that was coming.

That would mean it was still under the OLD Covenant, because there was no NEW Covenant until after Jesus’ death.

[Secret Agent Man]

“The thing I do find perplexing about the notion of sin is that we keep repeating it.”

It’s not that perplexing. We all are born with a sin nature that we must constantly fight while in this fallen world. NOt everyone is enticed by the same sins. Not everyone is enticed to the same degree by sins as others. But we all have our favorite sinful behaviors. The sins we like and have a hard time not doing again are habitual sins. The sins we have a hard time stopping ourselves from doing because we’ve done them so long even though we know that it’s wrong.

[Secret Agent Man]

“He forgives his children, but is unforgiving to those who rejected him.”

What good would it do to forgive someone who doesn’t think they need you to forgive them in the first place? They would not see it as a good thing. They’d hate the other person for forgiving them if they didn’t think they needed to be forgiven. The arrogance and high-horseness, and audacity to say they needed to be forgiven.

[SIRTRIS]

Did God create us knowingly born with a sin nature? If yes, he knowingly knows of our destiny/fate? If no, we can change his destiny because of free will? This logic follows which comes first... chicken or egg?

[Belteshazzar]

Sorry, I gave up taking this article seriously after the three false statements in the opening paragraph.

[Quix]

A WELL DONE ARTICLE.

A FAVORITE TOPIC OF MINE.

THX THX.

[irishtenor]

The next time you are driving down the road and someone cuts you off, forgive them. They will never know you did it, but your driving experience will still be better for it.

[bizeemommie]

Yeah, I didn’t read past the part “that’s how He is made”. Last I checked, he was never made.

[Irisshlass]

'Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us'

That is how God forgives us, how we forgive others. What I would add is, say the words, I forgive even if you can't and Let Christ heal you.

[Joya]

Thank you.

[Alex Murphy]

Fr. Longenecker is chaplain to St. Joseph's High School in Greenville, SC. A graduate of Bob Jones University, he studied theology at Oxford. After a stint as a country parson in the UK, he converted to Catholicism in 1995. He was ordained a Catholic priest in 2006.

Fascinating. Ping for later.