[count-your-change]

I knew an ol’ country girl name of Elsie. She had some words of wisdom and advice that should live on through the ages, for example:

“Never use a shotgun to shoot off a chicken's head when a 9 mm would do just as well.”

and:

“If you keep hitting your face on the steering wheel, it could be that you're trying to double-clutch one of them otto-matics”.

and in a similar tone;

“Don't try to smoke and drink a beer at the same time unless you can keep at least one hand on the wheel”.

I've known other “Elsies”, not a bad one in the bunch! Thanks.

[Elsie]

I knew an ol’ country girl name of Elsie.

Moo!