ELSIE is jealous he did not live at those times of Abraham, Jacob (12 tibes)Joseph Smith
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You make it sound like you would have liked to have met Joey Smith...
LOTS & LOTS of dead women were sealed to Smith, Brigham, and other "prophets" like Wilford Woodruff...Per the Tanners, Woodruff did so with even his single extended relatives and ancestors!!!
Might not be too late, Resty!
You DO remember one of those "classic" "services" that the Flying Inmans have offered for several years now, doncha?
Here, I'll provide a reminder on this remembrance weekend!:
Twas Spring of '08, aMorePerfectUnion posted this FReeper Flying Inman 'keeper classic" note:
eHaremny!
You are looking for a wife? Please choose one...
A. Alive Wife
B. Dead Wife
'Tis seems that assessment is appropo -- as contemporary Mormons continue to see themselves as marital matchmakers for the dead! [Cue the macabre organ music]
My comeback to AMPU at that time was to come up with a marketing tag-line for "eHaremny": "We evaluate 'sister wives' on 29 dimensions of compatibility!"
Here was some of the potential "ad copy" we discussed running for "e-haremny":
"The Last days got you down?
"Single with absolutely no hope of attaining the celestial kingdom level minus a husband?
"Wanna be eternally pregnant with spirit babies?
"Can't wait to call your husband 'Master & Lord' forever?
"Wanna permanently lose the line, 'Not tonight, honey, I have a headache?'
"Call eHaremny now!"
Since then, I've thought of another marketing one-liner...for brand purposes:
"E-Haremny: For the well-endowed!!!" [OK, if you're non-Mormon and didn't get it, Google Lds and "endowments"]
(AMPU and I have "threatened" to begin work on a Muslim version of eHaremny as well. We'll up the dimensions' match-up from 29 to their Scriptural specifications of 72; plus it's not just any woman...they HAVE to to be virgins. In the interest of the sanctity-of-life, however, I think we'll be excluding applications from martyrs)