What we do on earth with and to our bretheren determines the state of our soul. At earthly death, none of us can know our soul’s state save God in the Trinity and He decides where we go from there and whether or not there will be a pit stop in Purgatory (see all references to the refiner’s fire in both Old and New Testaments). I’ll take a pit stop over the alternative.
But that is not what God (through His servant Paul) was saying in Romans - or did He not mean what He said?
Herein lies your lack of understanding. You really should check out what refiner’s fire means. It has nothing to do with purgatory. Sigh, how sad that so many who are sincere in their Catholic teachings, are sincerely wrong.
The refiner’s fire happens here on earth, not in some fictional place. We are refined for the Master’s use by the cross we bear, by our dying to self...which always hurts.