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The Nana Lady Slamdunks Joey Smith

Nana sits having a loverly cuppa tea in the kitchen of the lower level of the mormon after life. As usual Joey Smioth comes in and begs a cup..

Joey: Hi Nana youre looking nice. New hairdo..

Nana: No Joey, you cant have a cup of tea...

Joey: Did I ask for a cup of tea ?

Nana: and you cant have a cuppa coffee either..

Jpoey: Oh Nana. Just one little cup. Who would know ?

Nana: Your bishop will. No temple recommend for you.

Joey: how’s he gona know ?

Nana: He comes begging to. He’ll be here any moment...

Joey: My bishop ? I’ll excomunicate him..Now can I..

Nana: Too late you cant excommunicate him.. We’re all dead..

Joey: It’s just not fair...

Nana: Tell that to Emma..

Joey: What are those boxes ?

Nana: New deliveries for the kitchen..

Joey: What’s inside...

Nana: You can look...

Joey: Bag a coffee beens...Oh they smell so good...

Nana: ThunderBird Coffee for the Flying Inmans...you cant have any..

Joey: There’s a CAKE...

Nana; You cant have that ...

Joey: Why not ?

nana: Its a COFFEE Cake...

Joey: Blast...What’s this one..it looks yummy...

Nana: That’s Tiramisu for Reaganaut...

Joey: Oh I have died and gone to Heaven...

Nana: No you havent...tat’s for abominable Christians...Your rules again..

Joey: Oh will you forget my rules...Can I have some ?

Nana: No

Joey: Why not greedy pig...

Nana: Because its got coffee in it..

Joey: Isnt there anything in here that hasnt got coffee in it ?

Nana: Sure...There’s some Cheese Danish and some chocolates and some Big Macs from McDonalds...

jJoey: Now yer talkin...

Nana: Stop silivering.. you cant have any...

Joey: WHY NOT ???

Nana: Look at the other side of the box...

Joey: It says COFFEE...But its not all coffee..

Nana: It has COFFEE on the box so its all coffee inside...

Joey: but theyre Big Macs...that’s beef...

Nana: No Joey Theyre COFFEE...thats the name on the box..

Joey: ARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Nana: Do you have to scream like that ? I’m trying to eat my lunch...

Joey: Lunch ? You just had Morning Tea...

Nana: So ? This is the mormon after life...you didnt leave any instructions so out here in the Outer Darkness of the lower level we call the kitchen, we just make it up as we go along...I never get fat so I can eat whenever I want to...

Joey: What’s that your eatin ? A ham sandwich ?

Nana: You cant have this...Its pig... remember ? You cant have anything to do with us pigs..

Joey: Blast...

Nana: Must you curse...we have a rule here...

Joey: OK I’m going...

Nana: dont let the door hit you in the butt...

Joey: What’s this big box behind the door ?

Nana: Which big box ?

Joey: Right there..That big one by the door ? Look it doesnt say COFFEE..

Nana: Oh yeah ? What does it say ?

Joey: T. E. A...

Nana: Oh yeah, Tea...You cant have anything in that one either...You cant have tea...

Joey: Oh Nana...You’re mean...

Nana: Stop whining Joey..Talk to the head honcho.

Joey: I am the head honcho.

Nana: Well there still is that other one...

Joeey: Who ?

Nana: Jesus..Have you talked to Him lately ?

Joey: I tried again yesterday..

Nana: Oh ? What did He say ?

Joey: The usual...Get away, I never knew you...

Nana: Hmmmmm well you did deny Him while you were alive...

Joey: Do you have to always rub it in ?

NMana: Suit yourself..You were the one who came down here to the kitichen...I didnt go up there bothering you...I never go up there bothering you...

Joey: No you sit down here drinking tea all day and dont offer me any...

Nana: Well kid them’s the breaks..You set it all up this way...

Joey: Nana, nice Nana...I’m just a poor miserable slob...

Nana: Keep talkin’

Joey: Can I have a cup of tea ?

Nana: It’s May I ?

Joey: May I have a cup of tea ?

Nana: Go back to the part about you being a slob...

Joey: Oh you never...

Nana: Joey !! Dont come down heree yelling at Nana. And stop stomping your feet.

Joey: Well what’s in that box..The one marked T E A ? It cant all be tea...

Nana: Oh no..There’s a leg of lamb, and potatoes and green beans, and carrots and peas...

Joey: I can have those things..

Nana: No you cant. Its in a TEA box...

Joey: Its only marked TEA !!! That’s not what’s inside.

Nana: Your mormon corporation was only marked The Church of Jesus Christ...But that’s not what was inside either !!

Joey: Cant ya ferget that ?

Nana: Complain to the Big Cheese if you dont like the rules..

Joey: Sometimes I wish I hadnt let that scam go so far..It was fun while it lasted but I guy could get himself killed with the stunts I pulled...

Nana: You did get yourself killed..

Joey: Yeah and I havent had anything to eat or drink ever since...I hope ya happy...

Nana: Joey, grow up...Anyway you cant have what’s inside that box for another reason...

Joey: What’s that ?

Nana: Look at the initials...

Joey: T. E. A. what does that mean ?

Nana: Trinitarian Eternity Association. The FI are all members...This box belongs to them. You taught against the Trinity and your mormons continued the blasphemeous practice. Your rules again...Right now the TEA are all on a day trip fishing in the Milky Way. Theyre be back later expecting their supper... I’ve got to get that leg of lamb on and peel the potatoes....

Joey: Can I stay for supper...

Nana: The outside of the box says T E A..

Joey: cant I change the rules ?

Nana: No its too late. You should have thought about what you were doing while you were still alive...Its appointed to every man to die once...and then the judgement...

Once youre dead its all over its too late...