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When you demand God to be merciful or that God is obligated to be merciful, then, it's not mercy anymore.....
God is not obligated to be merciful to anyone, God does so out of his own free will and love for us........
The same thing with grace, grace is not grace if we think we have to work for it, then, if it's by works, then, it's not grace anymore.....
We can not point our finger to GOD and demand and shout to him that he would be merciful to us.
How can the clay say to the potter " why have you made me like this " ??
Now ? if we admit we are wrong, or have sinned, and come to him humbly and ask him to have mercy, and forgive us, then, God is ready to forgive us.... he wants to forgive us, but, we can't come to him as spoiled brats and demand it from him.
Another point to make, do you actually believe that God would allow one of his beloved children to go out and do what ever he or she wants without and consequences ?
Do you actually think God would not correct us of some kind of behavior that is not pleasing to him ? the bible tells us that he chastises us as a loving father would do...

I don’t demand anything from God. I can’t. I’m trying to reason my beliefs against biblical teachings.

I can’t conceive of a merciless God. Parents teach you and when you still touch the stove and burn your fingers, they don’t say “I taught you and you never leaned. If you like the stove, here, I’ll push you in the oven and put it on 450-degrees.”

Parents don’t give up on you. I am having a very hard time believing that Christ give up on you any more easily. There are hard-headed kids that never learn, and parents don’t stop loving them as a result of their kids continuing poor behavior.

The bible says those who reject Christ will suffer eternal damnation in hell. I am aware of what the bible says. I can’t reconcile that against the thought that God is far more loving of me than even my parents. I can’t reconcile the thought that if I am stupid or ignorant enough to reject him, that he is going to push me in that oven and set it on 450-degrees.

That is my problem. The bible makes it clear you accept Christ as your savior or, sayonnara baby, it is off to hell. This violates my belief in the character of Christ. I can’t reconcile the two. I can’t.