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If you seek him you will find him. What if in the end, you are wrong? What's the payoff?

I have sought and not found.

So the question became, do I live this life in ignorance and superstition or do I open my eyes and strive to see things as they really are? In short do I take responsibility for my own life. I decided to take responsibility for my own life.

If I am wrong and you are right about God, then I am willing to go to hell and take it like a man. I think I will like the company in hell better anyway.

I can see that you are a thinker and that's a good thing. When you say "I have sought and not found" what specifically did you seek? Did you seek God himself, the person of God? That's what I was referring to. I can definitely tell you from my own journey that it is impossible to love someone you don't actually know. When I started reading scripture I did not know God personally. But it was through reading the Bible that I learned supernaturally who God is. Then I fell in love with him. I fell enough in love with him that I could accept the cost that came with following him, and there are many. Contrary to what some may think, Christianity isn't about butterflies and cherubs and fantasy.

There's no questioning you when you say that we are all called to take responsibility for our lives and to see things as they really are. "Truth" is the most important attribute of Christianity for me and I had a previous history of immersion into several different religions, including Mormonism, because of the diversity that is my family. That's why at some point I finally had to ask God himself, if he even existed. And when I sincerely and humbly asked, he answered. I'm not sure I really wanted to know before then but I like absolutes and wanted the certainty of knowing that what I said I believed I actually did believe. I didn't want to falsely defend a religion that I was wishy washy about.

As far as hell - it's not the party you think it's going to be. Hell is eternal separation from God and a pit of flames doesn't sound like much fun to me. Heaven is described much differently.

Would you consider reading the book of John in the Bible with a truly open mind? Or just pray and see where God leads you. He knows your heart as it is today and he's perfectly fine with you admitting your unbelief to him. Maybe you'd consider asking him to prove you wrong and then seeing what happens... I pray you'll think about joining us at the real party! :) (now there's a reason for a smiley!)