It's bad to use bar-room jokes as a substitute for research. Penances are not given to obtain forgiveness. That's complete nonsense. YOu're talking to someone who makes a confession every AT LEAST 3 to 4 weeks.
Tip: If you want to know what Catholics teach, and what they are expected to believe, ask an informed Catholic. Do not ask someone whose ante in the game is to profess his anti-Catholicism. Even if he's right to disagree with us, he may not be a good source for what we actually teach.
For example, uou may not know that near the end of each confession the penitent is invited to say a prayer telling God (NOT telling the priest, as you present it, but telling GOD!) how sorry he is. And as a frequent penitent, I can tell you fer shur that I am not telling the priest INSTEAD of telling God, my sins.
We MAY be a Satanic cult, but not for the reasons you present. And you should ask yourself what kind of outfit peddles misinformation and remind yourself who the father of lies is.
According to New Advent, the sacrament of penance is "a sacrament of the New Law instituted by Christ in which forgiveness of sins committed after baptism is granted through the priest's absolution to those who with true sorrow confess their sins and promise to satisfy for the same."
Double-talk.
Then, I started reading the Bible. I was amazed.
You use this artless dodge to avoid the huge discrepancies, which I pointed out, between God's (Jesus') teachings in the Bible, and the teachings of the Catholic Church, of which I have been a personal, decades long witness.
So it's your position that after Confession, the priest doesn't hand out a number of "Our Fathers" and "Hail Marys" to be repeated as a part of the ritual of absolution? Please clarify.
;-)
Yet what does the Priest tell us to do? Say 10 "Our Fathers" and 12 "Hail Marys".
;-/