I am such a hypocrite on this matter, and I ask all of you like-minded brothers and sisters to pray for me. I truly believe that wearing the veil is the right thing to do, but I don’t have the guts to do it unless I’m at a parish where others wear it.
We’ve just moved to IL near St. Louis. Our parish church is more orthodox than any in the city we just left (except the Fathers of Mercy), but no one wears the veil. My husband doesn’t want to go to the Maronite cathedral or St. Francis de Sales Oratory (TLM), so we’re attending a Novus Ordo parish that has a faithful priest and has Perpetual Adoration (the only Perpetual Adoration for miles around, as far as I can tell).
This has been a very difficult issue for me emotionally and spiritually, and I would appreciate any feedback or prayers you could offer.
I say do as you feel is appropriate. Who cares if you are the only one in church wearing a head covering? If you are friendly and have a big smile for them, others will not think it strange; and perhaps some of them will join you eventually. Surely they’ve seen it before.
As I said earlier on this thread, I am probably the last one in my parish to give up the hat. (I’ve never liked the mantilla, or doily.) And I’m not at all certain that I have given it up altogether. Ask me next Easter.
I think you should just wear it. Nobody’s really going to care one way or the other, or if people ask you about it, just say you used to wear it in your old parish and you’re more comfortable with it.
Who knows, other people may start doing it, too! When I started going up to Communion with my hands pressed together (the way we were taught), I was the only one doing it in my parish. Now almost half the people do it, and fewer and fewer are taking Communion in the hand.
Start with a hair ribbon or just a little doily pinned up in your hair. Do you have long or short hair? You can easily create something to put in your hair if it's long and you put it up. Something along the lines of a scrunchy, only a little more lacey. And with a pretty pin in it. There are lots of little things you can wear, and then just gradually edge towards a mantilla or a hat.
Getting used to the idea is the main thing.
I didn't cover my hair until after we were married. It's a slight point of dissension whether Steve "requested" or "suggested" that I cover my hair (I remember it as a request, he remembers it as a suggestion). I felt very conspicuous at first, and I'm still in the minority. When I attend Mass in the DC cathedral, I'm generally a minority of one. No one has ever said a word about it, though I sometimes get odd looks from children, who then whisper to their mothers. If anyone ever does have a negative comment, my response is pre-planned: "My husband prefers it."
If you think it's the right thing to do, just do it.
I almost always wear a hat or scarf for Mass. Nobody else wears a scarf or veil, except the traditionally-dressed Ethiopian ladies, but hats aren’t that unusual here in the South.
If you don’t want to be “devoutly” conspicuous, try a hat. If you see anyone looking at you, you can assume they’re admiring the hat and wishing they had one. And if anyone says anything, you can say, “Thanks! My husband (mother, sister, daughter, the cashier at Penney’s) said it looked cute!”
Ladies, you may not be able to see all the names I have posted this comment to, but there are 10 of us (at least on this thread) who wear some type of headcovering:
Sashula
afraidfortherepublic
Diana in Wisconsin
Knitting a Conundrum
k omalley
tob2
nina0113
tax-chick
AnAmericanMother
and me, nanetteclaret
I personally prefer hats on Sunday or Holy Days, and chapel veils for weekdays or when travelling.
We are all part of Our Lady’s Hat Society! Remember at Fatima, she said that people would wear fashions which would displease Our Lord. When you make an effort to go before Him in the Blessed Sacrament with your head covered, I believe that you are obeying the words of Our Mother and showing respect, love, and humility before Jesus. He is, after all, God. And while He may be our Friend, He’s not our buddy. Covering our heads is an outward and visible sign that we are inwardly and spiritually acknowledging that He is God and we are not. Remember, the ancient Israelites knew that if someone looked on the face of God, he would die. They were shocked that Moses did not die, but his face was shining after his encounter with God on Mt. Sinai. The least we can do is cover our heads and acknowledge that He is the God of all creation.
If anyone asks you why you cover your head at Mass, it is because Jesus is present, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity in the Blessed Sacrament. Mass is not a fellowship meal, it is an encounter with God. We also cover our heads because the angels are present at Mass. (I Cor. 11:10)
I can relate because I debated whether or not to wear a mantilla when I would attend a Novus Ordo Mass (I almost always attend a TLM). I don't like to draw attention to myself, but I believe it is pleasing to God to cover my head in church. So, I wore the mantilla when attending a N.O. Mass and usually sat towards the back. As far as I could tell, most people didn't pay any attention to my headcovering. Occasionally, there would be another lady or two with their heads covered.