Your words are precious to me as is this Scripture you posted and all you said in your FREEPMAILS.
Alas, my spirit and I believe His Spirit within me is requiring me to take a different path. It is somewhat mystifying to me—in spite of what seems so clear to so many others.
God has persistently led me through seemingly rarely trodden paths—and not uncommonly where there was no path—just light for the next step. I’ve often felt like a raving loon crying in the wilderness. Yet, somehow, He has brought even my worst to good as I’ve surrendered it repeatedly and daily, to him.
In a way, this is a bit of a new adventure. It sort of feels like I’ve been robbed of a major tool in my pack. And, while I have great and intense affection for, and allegiance to the fruit of The Spirit . . . I know that Holy Spirit also has some very interesting and atypical yet still Biblical tools in His pack that can often or even tyypically be mystifying and incongruous. Things are often not linear.
Nevertheless, tiki is right, shower insights have an uncommonly high hit rate. And, I’m convinced that this is the path I must currently trod.
However, I’ve never known The Lord to take something significant away without giving something better in return. It should be interesting to watch for that and see it unfold.
Though my commitment is serious & firm about such on the religion forum, I don’t really expect that such a change in writing style will be 100% across the board in all areas of my life forever. I could be wrong. But it’s just a hunch.
I am somewhat puzzled and grieved . . . commonly considered “loving” words and styles which are gentle and winsome seem to be chronically and easily forgotten, normally. But that will have to be God’s concern and await His solution.
In any case, Dr. E, YOU ARE an abiding treasure in my life regardless of our theological differences. I shall eagerly await that day on the other side of Jordan when such differences are wiped away forever.
And, between now and then, I shall always treasure your zeal that I resonate so much with—as well as your prayers and friendship. Yes, it feels somewhat like a capitulation to evil. And, I, too, am sad about that. But I believe strongly that God is working out something still mysterious in all of this. And I shall have to trust Him with that and proceed forward a cautious step at a time.
It has been my experience and observation in the other situations similar to this in my life—that those who think they have won the battle on the other side and from other perspectives are also in for some surprises from The Lord. We shall see. I do know that He wastes nothing, in the final analsysis. Everything is always grist for the mill in everyone’s lives.
Why am I so often the ‘point person’ taking it in the chin, the groin and elsewhere? Why am I so persistently ‘God’s fool’ doing the mystifying incongruous thing and suffering accordingly? Why am I so experienced at being tasked with repeatedly marrying a prostitute and running around with egg and worse on my face to guffaws to the max?
Evidently because I was created for such purposes and for such a time as this. At least that’s the way HIS SCRIPT has played out so very often in my life and it’s been very clearly not as much my doing as some would suppose.
BTW, I should clarify for some who might assume that I’m committing to saying absolutely nothing that they would take the least as offensive. I am not that much of a miracle worker. I am committing, if the voting continues as it seems to be, to avoiding the overtly fierce, dramatic, bitine satire, mocking, ridicule. I’m not making promises beyond that about my writing style etc.
I would caution you, Dear Heart Dr E . . . all of us have plenty of darkness—sin nature—loose in and around us such that any of us could break out in dastardly expressions should God pull His Grace back from us just a little. None of us has any reason to feel superior. It is likely that some of us see many theological things better than others. But also that others see some theological things better than we do. Contrition and humility are wise for all of us in all circumstances.
I do grieve and mourn a bit, a part of me that is seemingly being crucified, buried, extinguished—at least hereon. But I have to trust God to work out His purposes and His redemptiveness in that, however improbable it may seem at present.
I shall forever remember your kind and passionate words to me in this battle. And while I consider the battle really not against flesh and blood but against the deceiver . . . I recognize that each of us can play myriads of roles in such battles. And it’s particularly comforting when so many seem so inredulous that I could exist at all—much less with such sensibilities, patterns and priorities—it has been and will forever remain most comforting that once upon a time . . . a Precious Dr E understood me above average.
I’d better hush before my keyboard gets soaked.
Early on in my marriage my husband would do something playful and it would hurt me because he didn't know his own strength. He'd say he was only playing and that he didn't do it that hard. I'd tell him, look, I know when I feel pain, you don't. It really didn't help until one day he lovingly grasped our infant son's leg and "gently" shook it as he talked to him. I didn't see the bruise until the next day and I took him to the doctor because I didn't know how he could have gotten such a bruise. The doctor saw it right away and pointed out the finger outlines of the bruise. My husband was devastated that he had hurt him but he learned his lesson.
Words don't cause bruises but they do inflict pain. I'm not above using my tongue as a sword to inflict wounds and words to cause pain but I try not to.
When the fruits of your tree become bitter, it is time to water and fertilize them. When your brother comes to you and says that you are causing pain and you ignore him and blame the pain you are causing on him, how can that be good?
If you were a Catholic, I'd recommend a retreat of prayer and discernment. One where you looked deeply into your own soul to discern your motives concerning God and religion in an attempt to find the path that Jesus wants you on.
God bless you, you were in my prayers for a long time last night and you will remain in my prayers.
"Woe to the rebellious children, saith the LORD, that take counsel, but not of me; and that cover with a covering, but not of my spirit, that they may add sin to sin:That walk to go down into Egypt, and have not asked at my mouth; to strengthen themselves in the strength of Pharaoh, and to trust in the shadow of Egypt!
Therefore shall the strength of Pharaoh be your shame, and the trust in the shadow of Egypt your confusion.
For his princes were at Zoan, and his ambassadors came to Hanes.
They were all ashamed of a people that could not profit them, nor be an help nor profit, but a shame, and also a reproach.
The burden of the beasts of the south: into the land of trouble and anguish, from whence come the young and old lion, the viper and fiery flying serpent, they will carry their riches upon the shoulders of young asses, and their treasures upon the bunches of camels, to a people that shall not profit them.
For the Egyptians shall help in vain, and to no purpose: therefore have I cried concerning this, Their strength is to sit still.
Now go, write it before them in a table, and note it in a book, that it may be for the time to come for ever and ever:
That this is a rebellious people, lying children, children that will not hear the law of the LORD:
Which say to the seers, See not; and to the prophets, Prophesy not unto us right things, speak unto us smooth things, prophesy deceits:
Get you out of the way, turn aside out of the path, cause the Holy One of Israel to cease from before us.
Wherefore thus saith the Holy One of Israel, Because ye despise this word, and trust in oppression and perverseness, and stay thereon:
Therefore this iniquity shall be to you as a breach ready to fall, swelling out in a high wall, whose breaking cometh suddenly at an instant.
And he shall break it as the breaking of the potters' vessel that is broken in pieces; he shall not spare: so that there shall not be found in the bursting of it a sherd to take fire from the hearth, or to take water withal out of the pit.
For thus saith the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not.
But ye said, No; for we will flee upon horses; therefore shall ye flee: and, We will ride upon the swift; therefore shall they that pursue you be swift.
One thousand shall flee at the rebuke of one; at the rebuke of five shall ye flee: till ye be left as a beacon upon the top of a mountain, and as an ensign on an hill.
And therefore will the LORD wait, that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for the LORD is a God of judgment: blessed are all they that wait for him.
For the people shall dwell in Zion at Jerusalem: thou shalt weep no more: he will be very gracious unto thee at the voice of thy cry; when he shall hear it, he will answer thee.
And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not thy teachers be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers:
And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left." -- Isaiah 30:1-21
"Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it." -- 1 Thess. 5:24
Perhaps, dear Quix, you have accomplished what God wanted with your writing style and your words. Now He may be moving you in a new direction; change is always difficult. You will be in my prayers as you seek Him for answers. You are loved. I hope you know that.