I've been following you around for a few months, so you didn't just tell me anything about yourself that I didn't already know. Your faith is reflected in your actions around here & it is because of you that I've considered investigating some of the other rites.
It's really great to see your post. NYer has been an invaluable asset to this forum; she is also a lady in her manner of posting. And just for the record, I do hope you will do more "investigating."
I came into the Catholic Church almost 60 years ago, as an adult. There were a number of reasons for my final decision to be a Catholic: one was my lovely Catholic neighbor lady who was so kind to me when I was a kid. Another was that we lived only a block away from the Cathedral in my city and I would see crowds of people going there at all times of day and night to pray, and as a teenager I would go into the Church to see what was there that attracted them. That is when I first became aware of the Eucharistic Presence, though I didn't know at the time that was what it was. Lastly, I came into the Church because someone asked me to think about becoming a Catholic. Only then did I remember how many small and, at the time, insignificant moments and things had already led me to my decision. I was baptized on Easter Sunday (the way they did it then--now it is at Easter Vigil).
Just know that everyone can go through periods of "coldness" or tiredness in prayer and in worship and in living the Christian life. We aren't yet perfect. And know that it is in those times of weakness and frailty that we are actually growing more and more close to the Lord.
Today at Mass, the readings were (Old Testament) about Abram hearing God's voice to enter into covenant--ONLY when everything was plunged into darkness did Abram (soon to be Abraham) hear the Lord. The Gospel reading was about the Transfiguration; Peter and John did not hear the voice of the Lord until everything had turned dark. It is called the "night of the senses" so that our spiritual life can be enlightened. We are to learn how to be "children of the light".
God be with you on your journey.
ROE