I had five children in church at one time. I know the feeling. We always sat right in front of the cry room, and our kids all knew that if we stood up (we would take turns) they were on their way to the cry room for a lecture. Fortunately there was an exit door and a small restroom right in back of the cryroom so that is where they usually got their lecture.
Then sometimes the "Mom" or "Dad" killer looks would take care of it right in church.
There is a lady in our current choir who said she and her husband always sat in back of us. And they got the biggest kick out of our kids.
At the consecration bells:
Is that the doorbell?
Seemed like our kids would always just say nutty things. LOl!
Cry Room if I remember is one of the secret locations.
I remember teaching our daughter about the presence of Jesus at Mass and one time my daughter looked up and seen the usher coming and said don't look now but here he comes now! I laughed but in a way she understood what I was trying to teach her at such a young age.