Catholic Church & Jesus Christ-Why No One Should Be A Catholic

Apostolic Messianic Fellowship ^ | August 30, 2005 | Why No One Should Be A Catholic

[Tax-chick]

I'd love to get them jobs cleaning churches!

[AnAmericanMother]

LOL! My husband has to keep carrying his shop-vac back out to the garage, I'm always using it . . .

[AnAmericanMother]

It'll take a big ol' truck to pull it -- probably an F350 dually . . . if even that's enough.

[Frank Sheed]

It would be kind of neat if we all knew a language like Latin and could converse on our own while the carnage around us continued on into eternity...

Maybe Gaelic or Esperanto?

[OpusatFR]

"Giant feather duster?"

Close. We, the other old ladies and I, used to do all the curliques on our altar with a dust cloth and pledge. My pet project was cleaning the altar rail. I just cannot abide dust... ( -;

[Frank Sheed]

You can't defeat a false argument with a false argument of your own.

And you can't re-enter the fray once you've disqualified yourself. It's downright un-Christian!

[tiki]

Speaking of Spam, my granddaughter was extremely sick and had spent 3 days alone, sleeping mostly. On Friday she was feeling much better but needed company and I went over. The conversation turned to Lent and sacrifices and she realized that she had eaten a Spam sandwich for breakfast! She asked, pretty sure of the answer, "Is Spam meat?" I told her that it was debatable.

I know you had to be there to see the horror on her face when she realized what she'd done, I just laughed and told her that accidently eating Spam on Friday during Lent wouldn't send you straight to Hell.

[Frank Sheed]

ALEA IACTA EST

My Caesarean Latin recalls that as "the die is cast." Yes?

[Scotswife]

" I have one small request to make of you. She goes on and makes the request. Solomon sees through it. Says no, of course, and executes Adonijah"


Actually this fits right in with the Catholic view of Mary in her role as Queen Mother.
Just as this example shows - the ultimate decision lies with the king.
Mary has no magical influence over her Son. He knows best whether or not to honor an intercession.

So...just as the earthly Davidic kings could turn down a request from the Queen Mother...so too can the Eternal Davidic King choose not to honor a request from His Queen Mother as well.

The point that Hahn was making was that the office of Queen Mother DID exist, and she sat next to the king, and she did approach her son on behalf of others.

[AnAmericanMother]

I think Latin is by far the most appropriate here.

Useful Phrases

Nescio quid dicas - I don't know what you're talking about
Nemo hic adest illius nominis - There is no one here by that name
Ita erat quando hic adveni. - It was that way when I got here
Nihil declarandum - I have nothing to declare
Raptus regaliter - Royally screwed
Ut si! - As if!
Vescere bracis meis - Eat my shorts
Re vera, potas bene - Say, you sure are drinking a lot
Noli me vocare. Ego te vocabo. - Don't call me. I'll call you.
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione - I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult
Canis meus id comedit - My dog ate it
Die dulci freure - Have a nice day
Fac ut vivas - Get a life
Fac me cocleario vomere! - Gag me with a spoon!
Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem - Stand aside, little people! I am here on official business
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam. - I have a catapult. Unless you give me all of your money, I will fling an enormous rock at your head.
Utinam barbari spatioum proprium tuum invadant - May barbarians invade your personal space
Quo signo nata es? - What's your sign?
Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt... You know, the Romans invented the art of love...
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. - I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.
Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant - May conspirators assassinate you in the hall
Magister mundi sum! - I am the master of the universe!
Non sum pisces - I am not a fish
Radix lecti - Couch potato
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? - How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Unitam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant - May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy
Cogito ergo sum - I think, therefore I am
Cogito ergo doleo - I think, therefore I am depressed
Senito aliquos togatos contra me conspirare - I think some people in togas are plotting against me
Vah! Denuone latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur. - Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.
Nihili est - in vita priore ego imperator romanus fui -That's nothing; in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor
Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est - Yes, that is a very large amount of corn
Perscriptio in manibus tabellariorum est - The cheque is in the post
Non illigit
amus carborundum - Don't let the b'stards grind you down Nonne macescis? - Have you lost weight?
Minime senuisti! - You haven't aged a bit!
Id tibi praebet speciem lepidissimam! - It looks great on you!
Capillamentum? Haudquaquam conieci esse! - A wig? I never would have guessed!
Braccae tuae aperiuntur - Your fly is open
Subucula tua apparet - Your slip is showing
In dentibus anticis frustum magnum spiniciae habes - You have a big piece of spinach in your front teeth
Abutebaris modo subjunctivo - You've been misusing the subjunctive
Heus, hic nos omnes in agmine sunt! - Hey, we're all in line here!
Non, mihi ignosce, credo me insequentem esse - No, excuse me, I believe I'm next
Nonne de novo eboraco venis? - You're from New York, aren't you?

Bumper Stickers and Vanity Plates

Sona si latine loqueris Honk if you speak Latin
Balaenae nobis conservandae sunt Save the whales
Frena pro feris teneo I brake for animals
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscripti catapultas habebunt When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults
Sic hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades If you can read this bumper sticker, you are both very well educated, and much too close
Incitatus Speed demon
Vagans Cruising
Litoralis Beach bum
Mannus Mustang
Fractum Jalopy

Advanced Quotations

The following phrases are for those who can speak Latin while at the same time maintaining a cheesy accent. This is harder than you think. Despite all your best intentions to do a perfect rendition of Clint Eastwood from the film Dirty Harry, celebrity Latin accents invariably transform into something more akin to Manuel from Fawlty Towers.

Quid agis, medice? What's up, Doc?
Dic mihi solum facta, domina Just the facts, ma'am
Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn
Farrago fatigans! Thuffering thuccotash!
Fac ut gaudeam Make my day
Illius me paenitet, dux Sorry about that, chief
Tuis pugis pignore! You bet your bippy!
Diabolus fecit, ut id facerem! The devil made me do it!
Osculare pultem meam! Kiss my grits!
Credidi me felem vidisse! I tought I taw a puddy tat!
Si fallatis officium, quaestor infitias eat se quicquam scire de factis vestris If you fail, the secretary will disavow all knowledge of your activities
Te capiam, cunicule sceleste! I'll get you, you wascally wabbit!
Conlige suspectos semper habitos Round up the usual suspects
Certe, toto, sentio nos in kansate non iam adesse You know, Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore
Me transmitte sursum, caledoni Beam me up, Scotty

Names and Titles

Translations of the names of some famous bands and television shows.

Cimictus The Beatles
Inlecebrae The Temptations
Lapides provolventes The Rolling Stones
Ille quis The Who
Mortui grati The Grateful Dead
Simitatores The Monkees
Pueri litoris The Beach Boys
Illi silices The Flintstones
Insula gilliganis Gilligan's Island
Zona crepusculi The Twilight Zone
Opus: quod fiere non potest Mission: Impossible
Dies felices Happy Days
Navis amoris The Love Boat
Iuvenes inquietesque The Young and the Restless
Pretium iustum est The Price is Right --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[wagglebee]

There is no clear consensus as to the authenticity of any of the "Ignatius Letters".

I would tend to agree with you and obviously they have never been accepted as Canonical. That being said, why did Diego1618 reference them as "proof" that the Blessed Virgin Mary had other children (post #551)?

[Frank Sheed]

I heartily concur that it is not certain just what Spam is. It is protein (I think). I once heard how they made it and the shock obliterated those neurons from my memory.

The poor child! She has Catholic guilt already?

[OLD REGGIE]

And you can't re-enter the fray once you've disqualified yourself. It's downright un-Christian!

Robert's Rules of Order?????

[al_c]

This write needs our prayers, doesn't he?

Amen!

[tiki]

We live in an old farmhouse in the desert where the wind regularly blows 70mph and I use an air compressor.It works pretty well if you're careful. I use it on my car too.

[Salvation]

**This has all the makings of an "undead thread." **

Yes, I just posted the url over there. I'm so sick of seeing references to "The Nativity Story: -- We're getting close to Easter; the Christmas thread needs to go.

And besides that we have explained all the errors in the writer's assertions quite well. Would be a good "Never-Ending Thread."

[Tax-chick]

ping to 590 Latin phrases

[wagglebee]

While I am on record as dismissing the entire thread subject as not worthy of serious discussion

I very much appreciate you saying that and it has not gone unnoticed by me that many Protestants with whom I've often engaged in "heated" debate have opted to "sit out" this thread based on ignorant vile.

[al_c]

Hey, OR! Yeah, I agree that this can easily be debunked by both sides and should've probably died a quick death. But it's so laughable ... I think most are still here because of that. Some of the things mentioned in the article reminds me of the old days when a newbie would jump into the Neverending Story thread. LOL!

[Campion]

Even if the one in question is for real the phrase used by Ignatius "he katholike ekklesia" is an adjective not a proper noun.

There was no entity known as the "Catholic Church" for hundreds of years.

This is like citing a letter by George Washington referring to the "American army," saying it used "American" as an adjective, not "American army" as a noun, and then concluding that there was no entity known as the "American army" for hundreds of years.

The argument is specious and silly.

What event happened "hundreds of years" later which caused the Catholic Church suddenly to pop into being (which event went completely unnoticed by contemporaries, BTW) ... ??

Whatever it was, it had happened by the time Augustine came around, because he wrote:

"And last, the very name Catholic, which, not without reason, belongs to this Church alone, in the face of so many heretics, so much so that, although all heretics want to be called ‘Catholic,’ when a stranger inquires where the Catholic Church meets, none of the heretics would dare to point out his own basilica or house" St. Augustine (Against the Letter of Mani Called "The Foundation" 4:5 [A.D. 397]).

And it certainly had happened by the time St. Cyril of Jerusalem had happened on the scene, because he wrote:

And if ever thou art sojourning in cities, inquire not simply where the Lord's House is (for the other sects of the profane also attempt to call their own dens houses of the Lord), nor merely where the Church is, but where is the Catholic Church. For this is the peculiar name of this Holy Church, the mother of us all, which is the spouse of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Only-begotten Son of God ... (St. Cyril of Jerusalem, lecture XVIII)

St. Cyril died in 386.

And it must have happened by the time Tertullian was around, because he wrote:

"Where was [the heretic] Marcion, that shipmaster of Pontus, the zealous student of Stoicism? Where was Valentinus, the disciple of Platonism? For it is evident that those men lived not so long ago—in the reign of Antonius for the most part—and that they at first were believers in the doctrine of the Catholic Church, in the church of Rome under the episcopate of the blessed Eleutherius, until on account of their ever restless curiosity, with which they even infected the brethren, they were more than once expelled" (Demurrer Against the Heretics 30 [A.D. 200]).

And with that, we're well before Constantine, so I rest my case.