Wow...so much for the Spirit of Vatican II. She is treating you like you have been anathemitized. You know I don't think that there is any version of the Novus Ordo Missal that allows for the holding hands thing....you know that they write the rubrics down for a reason, namely to prevent liturgical abuses and corruptions.
It was pretty stunning. But it just goes to show you how completely confused people are (leaving aside this lady's appallingly uncharitable behavior).
Personally, that's why I think the NO has got to go away. It's terminally broken in many places and I honestly don't think it can be tinkered with to make it better. There are too many things wrong with it and too many loopholes - er, "options" - in it where people can do what they want. I'm not saying the Tridentine Rite should necessarily come back, particularly as it was 45 years ago, but I think something has got to happen that means a fresh start.