Posted on 02/23/2007 8:32:11 AM PST by Alex Murphy
Walking away from mass on Ash Wednesday, I found myself examining my belief in the Catholic faith. While I felt proud to sport my new "smudge" — the term my roommates gave the ashen cross on my forehead — and even became angry when others looked at me with confusion.
I realized that I do not agree with what the Catholic faith stands for.
From the time I was born up until my senior year of high school my parents made me attend mass with them every Sunday morning. They staunchly believed that the teachings would instill a sense of community and would give me morals to live by. They ultimately succeeded in their wish, but as I grew up going to church left me increasingly angry and confused.
I have always been taught that God welcomes and loves all people. Priests and Sunday school teachers present you with an all-loving God — he is your friend, your creator and most importantly your guide in life.
As I became a teenager though, my Sunday school teachers started adding a disclaimer next to "all-loving." I started realizing that he is only all loving if you are a Christian heterosexual man or woman who follows every commandment to a tee.
Too bad if you're gay, God doesn't love you any more. If you're a woman and have had an abortion you might as well give up because God is going to smite you. And if you believe in other religions, forget it.
According to one of the Ten Commandments, "You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth." that's one of the worst possible offenses.
These statements and others left me feeling at odds with my faith, so much so that I have taken three courses in Bible study. While I respect those who believe in the Christian faith, the biggest question I have been struggling with is how I can believe in a God that loves me conditionally.
As I continued in the Catholic faith more loopholes presented themselves. God doesn't approve of gay people, but he does approve of incest. In the book of Genesis, Eve gave birth to two sons named Cain and Abel. When they were teenagers Cain killed Abel in a field near their house. God decrees that Cain, his wife and children must live in the field where Able was killed as a punishment.
Where did Cain's wife come from? Did she fall from the sky? Did Cain sleep with Eve? This question is one that I've posed to my friends and even some of my old Sunday school teachers. Their answer was always that God made another woman for Cain to procreate with.
This answer and many like it have simply left me feeling even more perplexed. I'm sure I am not the only Catholic on campus that began questioning her faith after coming to college.
So where do we go from here? I am left in what seems to be a small but growing group of Catholics who are now realizing that their all-loving God is really a sham. It's a lot like finding out that the all-powerful Oz is really just some guy behind a curtain.
The ongoing struggle that I'm experiencing with my faith is something I fear will never be resolved. Do I still go to church, should I still consider myself a Catholic or should I abandon all hope of ever finding any real answers?
The only real answer that I have come up with is to add more disclaimers to my abridged version of Catholicism.
For those that are struggling with the same questions that I am the only wisdom I can provide is this: find your own way.
These days I've started to create my own faith foundation. In my opinion God is all loving and would not shun a person because of sexual preference, hard decisions they've made or their religion.
Some people have asked why don't you just switch to a religion that you agree with? Although that seems like the perfect solution, I know that no matter what religion I switch to there will always be aspects of it that I don't agree with.
Some Catholics may call me a fair weather Christian because I only believe in part of the Bible and don't attend church regularly. But I've started realizing that it's more about being a good person and having morals that you believe and not about being a "model" Christian.
While my current opinions on the Catholic faith have left me at odds with my parents and my strict Christian friends on many occasions, these obstacles haven't stopped me from following what I truly believe. I can't pretend to be what I'm not.
Now when people ask me "What's your religion?" I answer I'm Catholic and then add my own disclaimer: I'm Catholic but on my own terms, ones that aren't built on prejudice.
Zionist Conspirator wrote: "I was not aware that belief in G-d was supposed to be conditioned on His love for us. This is one of chr*stianity's greatest crimes. Loving G-d is a mitzvah (commandment), not a "deal.""
Good point. Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love God with all your heart, mind, and soul. Our love isn't supposed to be conditioned on whether or not we agree with Him or are loved in return. As the Creator, He's the one who makes the rules...not us.
The author of this piece has a god - herself.
TBP wrote: "A lot of people have trouble believing in that (2/3 of mankind doomed)."
Nevertheless, that's what the Bible teaches. Whether man believes it's going to happen or not is totally irrelevant.
If nothing else, the fact that 2/3 (or more) are doomed should motivate us Christians to witness more.
Even better, confess directly to Jesus, with a sincere heart and contrite spirit, and He will be quick to fogive. God will see you as one whose "sins were as black as night but now are washed spotless" by the blood of our Lord and Savior.
You can't confess your sins in ANY way if you believe that nothing YOU can do, fail to do, think, or say is a sin.
It's funny, because I expect if you got into conversation with this young woman, she'd give you a whole list of sins other people commit: judgmentalism, racism, homophobia, neglect of the environment, opposition to illegal immigration, requiring her to pay back her student loans ...
This is so disheartening. I have a lovely, talented and truly sweet God-daughter who has lost her faith. Her parents are Catholic; her father is a teacher who has only taught at Catholic schools (math); her mother has struggled with some teachings of the Church, but remains a "true-believer."
The girl, who may or may not have homosexual tendencies, does have some friends who are homosexual. Her statement to me is that "My experience tells me the Church is wrong." Of course, she came to these conclusions after attending U of W Madison. Her brother, a young man who had wanted to be a priest, attended St. John's U in MN and is now separated from the Church.
I know young adults struggle to find themselves; I just wish they could do so without denying the one sure vehicle they need to find the truth.
That would be nice, but sometimes the problem is the "one sure vehicle". When you discover the church you're in is run by political and theological liberals, and the town or community lacks any well-grounded, God-fearing churches, your choices are limited - either find alternate means to educate and grow your faith, or commute/relocate to another community to worship. Otherwise, your faith is slowly martyred by the culture.
Lot and his wife found out they had to move from Sodom. And Lot's wife, sadly, missed the women's quilting ministry.
Don;'t you think the notion of a benevolent, loving God who condemns two thirds of his own creation is silly on the face of it? I certainly do.
TBP wrote: "Don't you think the notion of a benevolent, loving God who condemns two thirds of his own creation is silly on the face of it?"
First off, I don't believe God condemns people. People condemn themselves by not conforming to God's plan. Secondly, I don't know what percentage will condemn themselves. That is entirely in Christ's hands, but He himself said the road to salvation is narrow.
As to your belief it is "silly" to destroy two-thirds in order to save one-third, I disagree. It's not unheard of to produce and destroy large quantities of something in order to extract a smaller quantity of something else of greater value.
Finally, even if you or I disagree with God's plan, it really doesn't matter. As the Creator, He can do pretty much whatever He wants with us. Fortunately, the Bible reveals Him to be a loving father who wants everyone to be saved. For that reason, Christians should witness as much as possible in order to bring in the greatest possible yield for the Father.
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