Posted on 01/05/2007 9:36:30 AM PST by Gamecock
It’s one of life’s ironies - I guess one of the great parenting dilemmas.
Do we want our children to be comfortable or to have character? The short answer may be both, but I’m not sure how that shakes out. If we must choose one, it would have to be character and that comes from facing challenges. So much for comfort.
Author Rick Warren says God is more interested in our character than our comfort. That may be a shock to us because we often view God as one who spends his time removing obstacles from our paths and making our lives ever easier and more pleasant.
But Warren is right, God is more interested in us becoming mature than comfortable. He allows trials in our lives for the very reason that he wants us to grow from them. James says we should rejoice in this because it exercises our faith and makes us better and stronger.
Since God is the ultimate parent, it is a lesson for us, then. What is our purpose as parents – to instill character in our children, or to spend our time, money and effort quenching their every thirst, satisfying their every need and making their lives as stress free as humanly possible?
Don’t get me wrong, I believe we should make our children’s lives as pleasant as we can, to a point. We have a dachshund who thinks he’s a person. I feel it is my job to make his life as comfortable as possible. He has no character and he’s not supposed to, but it lowers my blood pressure to see him warm and fed. He gives me feelings of comfort when he sleeps in my lap and that’s why he was created.
But my children were not created for my pleasure. They were created for God’s pleasure and he needs them to have character, to grow in maturity and to possess self-discipline. I simply have the privilege of being one of their guardians for a season. So we let the dog sleep in, but we see to it that they get up, dressed and to school on time.
This is a bit counter to the culture, but what wisdom isn’t? I saw a commercial the other day that advertised a new device that will take the wrapping off of your new CDs and DVDs. For only $20, you no longer have to find a knife or car key to rip off the cellophane. I’m not even saying it’s a bad idea, I’m just saying our culture continually tells us to take life easy, be a person of leisure – to be lazy.
What is character, anyway? Warren says it is the sum of our habits. It is how we act and react to the world around us. If we get everything we want or always get our way, we may become spoiled. We may be shocked when our teachers and bosses aren’t as interested in our leisure as our parents were.
If we are allowed to watch or listen to everything our little heart desires, we may mirror that behavior. If we are never taught manners, it will affect our future relationships. If we are not taught respect, it can get us into a lot of trouble and heartache later. If we are not taught fiscal responsibility when we are young, it can really bite us when we get out on our own.
You get the idea. So, what is your goal as a parent – to make your children comfortable or to instill character in them? The world is waiting and watching. And hoping.
"what is your goal as a parent – to make your children comfortable or to instill character in them?"
I select:
C. Move out....
“Men of Israel, take heed to yourselves what you intend to do regarding [RICK WARREN & JOEL OLSTEEN]. . . . And now I say to you, keep away from these men and let them alone; for if this plan or this work is of men, it will come to nothing; but if it is of God, you cannot overthrow it—lest you even be found to fight against God.” ~Acts 5:35-39
With folks who confess and demonstrate in their lives that they are convinced that Jesus came in the flesh . . . and the other basic doctrines of the faith . . . the above exhortation of Paul's seems to be exceedingly wise, if not binding.
Yet, it seems to me from my own history of operating so much in such a stern, prissy, self-righteous, judgmental, pharisaical tone, attitude, perspective . . . when a feeling of haughtiness, SO CALLED 'righteous indignation,' 'zeal for the truth, the Gospel and the American Way' rose up so fiercely within me . . . I was blinded. It didn't matter that they confessed that Jesus came in the flesh.
The other person had not, basically, done as I was convinced Christians ought to do in a given situation so on the basis of my PRESUMED 100% KNOWLEDGE OF ALL ASPECTS AND SIDES OF THE SITUATION [TALK ABOUT SATANIC ARROGANCE!], then I felt it my GOSPEL duty to shred the other party up one side and down the other. And in triplicate if they didn't listen the first time. And with a host of friends and cohorts if they didn't listen the 2nd time. After all--Mat 18 . . .
I shiver at the memory. What arrogance.
GOD ALONE HAS 100% COMPLETE KNOWLEDGE OF ALL HEARTS, MOTIVES, GOALS, ATTITUDES etc. in the hearts of the others involved. THEREFORE HE ALONE IS SUITED TO JUDGE--PROPERLY JUDGE.
It's like the old story with the 2 angels. Staying overnight in the billionaire's mansion--they were shown the basement and made to sleep on the cold concrete floor while dozens of the softest beds went unused above. The chief angel, nevertheless patched a hole in the basement wall. The next night, they slept in a barn with the poorest couple. The next day, the cow was dead. Walking away, the Jr angel was outraged.
Why did you patch the hole in the stingy reprobate's basement wall? There were gold and jewels hidden in there and I didn't want him to find them. Why did you let the cow die? The angel of death came for the man's wife.
WE DON'T KNOW NEAR EVERYTHING LIKE WE THINK WE DO. WE DO !NOT! HAVE 100% KNOWLEDGE SUFFICIENT FOR PUNATIVE JUDGMENT of the order so liberally sprayed about on such threads.
Many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world. Any such person is the deceiver and the antichrist. Watch out that you do not lose what you have worked for, but that you may be rewarded fully. Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take him into your house or welcome him. Anyone who welcomes him shares in his wicked work.
Seems to me that the first one . . . affirming that Christ came in the flesh is a critical one. The others are fuzzy enough that when we finish measuring folks by our self-righteous standard, they will always end up less than we perceive ourselves unless and until God has really sufficiently shown us our own hearts.
And while we are feeling more righteous than the other turkey, we tend to find it easy to censure, punish, castigate, assault . . . all for righteousness, of course, the other believer. And bystanders think to themselves,
IF THAT'S CHRISTIANITY, I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT NOR WITHIN A MILLION MILES OF IT!
Am I saying that this man whose words and work are being spread so far and widely here and throughout the earth via the Web is such a one? I do not have to. It is obvious that others think that Rick Warren fits that bill. Whether he does or not is not what I am moved to address, but rather, that those who are of the One True Faith, to maintain their good confession, ought to show the fruit of the Holy Teacher. For Christ Himself lives in us, and if within, can we not maintain the good testimony of our works even as those who had this Righteous One only outside themselves, the Martyrs of Maccabees, in like manner prevailing and showing the conquest over sin and death?
There, the rubber meets the road. We shall see. Historically, no good deed of RW & Joel goes unpunished and in the shrillest, harshest, most viscious terms--always for righteousness and The Gospel, of course. Kind of like burning the house down to take the chill off.
Paul says, "I would build you up and not tear you down! I would be for your encouragement!" In another place we are exhorted to "encourage one another more and more as you see the Day approaching." Is the great and dreadful Day not closer now than it was then? Do we not partake of the Living Spirit and can we not by that Spirit obey the commands of our Faithful True God?
Indeed. But when we LABEL other believers reprobates, charlatans, false prophets etc. . . . we ascribe to ourselves the right to be judge and jury and sentence them to outer darkness and at least to our fiercest, most ruthless condemnations, assaults and black listings--always for righteousness and The Gospel, of course.
This I've learned: In the very moment that we look with judgment upon another, brother or enemy, we ourselves take part and become another root or branch of the very thing of which we are accusing the other! And we can not even see that this is what we become, because the very moment we become that, the root and branch fill our eye and we are blind in our own sin.
Ahhhhhh, another crux of it. But we don't believe that Scripture applies to us when we successfully label the other party in horrible enough terms. THEN, we are free to be hideous AND TO BELIEVE THAT WE CAN COME AWAY WITHOUT HIDEOUSNESS BEING ADDED TO OUR OWN HEART. Talk about deceived!
This I also know: Being encouraged ourselves by the Love and Grace of God in this precious tie that binds, HIS HOLY SPIRIT, and in encouraging the Brethren by our words and our witness, suffering under trial, we become root and branch of the True Vine that gives Abundant Life, and a clear eye with which to see. Let us take the log out of our eye then, and bear it as our Savior did, who went to his tree willingly, submissive to all the Will of the Father, and so become triumphant. He came not to judge, but to save. O let us walk His walk with great joy, for we know Who has gone before us!
AMEN! Sigh
Yes, the authority of Scripture and the authorities of JimRob and the RM would be good starts.
Paul warns us that quarreling and divisions prevent us from being able to mature in Christ and allow the Holy Spirit to work through all of us. This is also excellent to study.
10 Now I appeal to you, brothers and sisters,* by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you should be in agreement and that there should be no divisions among you, but that you should be united in the same mind and the same purpose. 11For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there are quarrels among you, my brothers and sisters.* 12What I mean is that each of you says, ‘I belong to Paul’, or ‘I belong to Apollos’, or ‘I belong to Cephas’, or ‘I belong to Christ.’ 13Has Christ been divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? 14I thank God* that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius, 15so that no one can say that you were baptized in my name. 16(I did baptize also the household of Stephanas; beyond that, I do not know whether I baptized anyone else.) 17For Christ did not send me to baptize but to proclaim the gospel, and not with eloquent wisdom, so that the cross of Christ might not be emptied of its power.
18 Do not deceive yourselves. If you think that you are wise in this age, you should become fools so that you may become wise. 19For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written,‘He catches the wise in their craftiness’, 20and again,‘The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise,that they are futile.’
21So let no one boast about human leaders. For all things are yours, 22whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all belong to you, 23and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God.
God help us all.
Kids need to see us realizing that we are all sinners, and we all need a Savior. My works without the cloak of righteousness are nothing but filthy rags that can and do go south at any given minute. Otherwise it is all self-help and I am lost.
you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God.
Such blessed true lovely noble uplifting encouragement from the Scriptures! I could have copied and pasted the whole of your post all over again if I'd chosen the words that most imparted grace unto my soul...but this last echoes on and on.
Your post is well worded and your tone is in Christ, thank you. I see your point now. I know what you are talking about. I am so glad that you were used as an instrument of insight into that friend's life. May it bear fruit under the blessed tending of the Owner of the Vineyard.
Speaking evil of no one. That's a good one for the Rick Warren/Joel Osteen threads. I had to learn that one the hard way and I really try (although in the case of the democrats I often fail) not to criticize a brother or sister in Christ. I appreciate you. Mxxx
As history alone the books of the Maccabees have much to teach us.
If your friend's kid is a horrid spoiled brat, he requires correction. A shot across the tush or supension of privileges is usually quite effective. To be a good parent you need to be both tough and tender.
I really try (although in the case of the democrats I often fail)
We all do but when they mess up we can criticize them and send them home. That's the beauty of the democratic republic we live in which is a creation of men inspired and empowered by God.
And RW does all that very well in the small groups.
There's also ample evidence of it in his literature and sermons.
And I don't believe we are to be meter maids on the degree to which he does it. He is responsible to God about that.
And tough and tender [somewhat] needs to start the week the come home from the hospital.
Usually the biggest problem with kids is . . . not too much tender . . . but too little or no or hypocritical love and lots of provoking to wrath along with hypocritical modeling and examples.
Then as the kid gets older, too much harsh trying to make up for lack of bonding and good discipline earlier.
It appears to me that Warren might equate "good character" with "godly character" in that he seems to think it is all about doing charity work.
= = =
I don't believe he does.
But he is fulfilling the Great Commission in ways typical of missionaries in centuries past by meeting needs. Missionaries have traditionally met sanitation, food and education needs along with the sharing of the Gospel and often first to earn a hearing.
Christ did the same thing. It's provable from the New Testament. I just don't have the time currently to document it.
We are salt of the earth.
Even relatively small percentages of authentic Loving Christians living lives of integrity, honesty, caring have a profound effect on a local culture. And, also, they do the same in the spiritual realm.
The laws of the USA are but one example. The Christian substrate, philosophy etc. though the persons did not have a relationship with God--they knew what was expected of them and behaved more in those ways. Now that the substrate has been attacked for 50 years very overtly in the schools and every other institution, that pattern has frayed virtually beyond recognition.
But people from the world over flock to our land largely because of the benefits of a land with a Judeo/Christian value system as it's foundation. They know there's LESS corruption here; more freedom here; more fairness here; more opportunity here; more honesty here; . . .
Living with citizens who pretend to be Christian even mostly on the surface . . . is a LOT better than living with citizens pretending to be Jihadi's--even on the surface.
RW is not ignorant of the times we live in. I can't believe he doubts that oceans of good works are going to prevent or even delay Armageddon.
But we are commanded to do the good works anyway--particularly toward the household of faith BUT TO ALL, as well. That is our duty and to be our love.
We are to be broken bread and poured out wine
FOR THE WORLD--just as Christ was.
He knew and we can know that much seed will fall to the ground seemingly wasted--perhaps in literal seed by seed terms, wasted. But not wasted in the sense that we did it and it accrues to our account that we sowed it liberally.
Warren does not at all think it's only about charity work. He's a very orthodox SAVED BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS ONLY sort of guy. But he knows that the only Jesus most folks will see is the caring hand we offer and he's determined to use his increased resources toward that as much as he possibly can. And I cheer him on for it.
He knows it's a bit of a little dutch boy against the dike sort of task. But he's not flinching from the challenge. He's even risking doing it wrong and getting royally misunderstood and trashed because of some of how he's doing it. But he's doing it. He's putting his money where his mouth is and where the hungry mouths are. And I cheer him for it.
I think I'll hush before I get more wound up.
I agree. But the realization that your kid is a wretch is the beginning of such.
Quix, your first allegiance is to the Lord, right? So at least explore the possiblity of this. It will do no one any good to put their faith in a different gospel than the one taught in the New Testament. Ignore the tone and really weigh the criticism according to scriputre. That's what I had to do. I didn't start out anti-Warren. And I am not now aiming to harm him just because I don't like his politics. My problem is with his version of the gospel and his misuse of Scripture. You have been on enough of these threads to know what the criticisms are. Go back and take a CAREFUL look at it.
All that said, I think Brian McLaren and his Emergent/Emerging Church is a far greater threat to the Church than Warren ever thought of being.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.