Posted on 05/24/2005 5:54:44 PM PDT by sionnsar
(Lambeth Palace) - In a press conference held yesterday at Lambeth Palace, Jonathan Jennings, press secretary for the Archbishop of Canterbury, announced the latest strategy for keeping the 77 million member Anglican Communion afloat. Concerns were raised earlier this month that a newly appointed group whose job it is to oversee the delegation of episcopal duties in dissenting dioceses would run the church into the ground amid spiralling travel costs.
In the new plan, the Church of England - in conjunction with the Braniff group of companies - would launch it’s own in-house discount airline to transport ‘flying bishops’ to and from their would-be dioceses. The new airline, called ‘CantuAir’ - following in the footsteps of other discount airlines - will ferry its episcopal cargo around the world and make a tidy profit in doing so.
CantuAir’s maiden voyage will take place July 6, 2005, as a non-stop flight from London to Atlanta. The ‘all first class’ airliners, built by French Airbus Industries will serve vodka martinis and chicken dinners to its mitred clients in an effort to bolster international unification.
Eccesiastical forecasters are calling it the boldest move by Canterbury since formally endorsing ‘Father Ted’ as the official britcom of the Church of England.
Sources: RAFwN Files, X-Files, Deleted-Files, Nail Files
Traditional Anglican ping, continued in memory of its founder Arlin Adams.
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