Vanity: Should I Send My Jewish Child to a Catholic School?

self

[Yaelle]

My 6th grade homeschooled son wants to go to school. At first, I was a little hurt by it, but upon serious thought, I realized it would be good for us both. I am so busy with the new baby that it makes homeschooling difficult. And he is of the age when he wishes to contradict everything I say! But we need a safe, conservative place for him.

The local middle school appears horrible. There are hundreds of kids in each grade, and there is the gang element, and I am sure drugs as well. I just cannot throw my child to the wolves.

We are a financially struggling family, trying to make it on one salary, with three kids. We cannot afford the one local nonreligious private school: only the children of the wealthy go there. There is no Jewish school near us, and even the one far away wouldn't work (Chabad, and they don't accept my Conservative conversion), if we could afford it, but we can't. The only school we could afford (barely) is the Catholic school.

They teach Catholicism and all the kids go to Mass. As well they should! They have a good academic curriculum, and the school encourages good values. A lot of the parents are conservative. My son is secure in his Judaism and will become bar Mitzvah next year.

I have visited the school and spoken with the principal. Everyone is very nice there. My son would obviously be expected to do all the curriculum like everyone else, religion included. I simply cannot make up my mind. It doesn't seem right to send a Jewish boy to Catholic school. I wish we Jews had a good educational system like the Catholics do, but we do not. I would like my child to attend a religious-based school, at a reasonable cost.

If I were to decide to send my son to Catholic school, what about his little brothers? One will need a school next year and if I sent him at his young age, wouldn't he be Catholic within a month, just to be like his teacher and friends?

I am going in circles here trying to decide. I don't want to set my son up for failure in a school where I should have known from the outset that he might not fit in. Neither do I want to deny him a good experience in a small religious school if that would be what happens.

I am grateful for all thoughts. Go ahead and be blunt. Thanks.

[missyme]

Hmm Interesting dilemma but can be quite educational. I can just tell you that as a child I never went to private school but I lived in a religously mixed neighborhood.

I Had great jewish friends who had taught me quite a lot about Judiasm, my family was not religious although they beleived in G-d. I then studied with some Jehovah Witnesses and wow that was a bit much but it did teach me not to be and do immoral acts to jump speed ahead, I finally wanted to search for G-d went to Christian Churches Messianic Congreagations, to make it short and sweet, I learned and have taken much spiritual insight from Judiasm and Christianity.

Your son when he is of age will make the decison right for him based on your teachings and his own experience with
G-d. PAraying to G-d I beleive will give you the answer better than any of us can.

Best Wishes and GOD Bless.

[missyme]

You can be very rude sometimes, what does that say about your character.

[missyme]

Durrrrrrr
Went to public school with kids of all faiths, of course I am talking awhile ago, but nevertheless kids now are more informed regarding the use of hard drugs, they have to worry about Guns, terrorism, sexually explicit music, my friends who were jewish and christians but all of us in High School could of cared less about any of it, was more concered about smoking pot, listening to Zepplin, and finding our way. We did not have the worries kids do now so any teaching of morality to any school is great for kids.

[VermiciousKnid]

I am the mother of two Catholic school children, and while I know your boy would get an excellent education and would be welcomed in any Catholic school I know, I understand your legitimate concerns.

In my opinion, you should think long and hard about this:

1) Your son will be required to take catechism classes and attend Mass. While I doubt any serious attempts at conversion will take place, it is not beyond the realm of possibility that your son will show some interest in learning more about Jesus, and the Church.

2) Remember that most of the children that will be in your boy's class will have known each other since kindergarten. Most Catholic schools only have 1-3 classes per grade, so quite literally "everybody knows everybody else." Sixth grade is a tough year to transfer into a school. (I know this because that's what I did as a child -- and I was fine, BTW - I still have those same friends I made 30 years ago.) Be sure he can deal with being both the new kid in class AND of a different religion.

3. You yourself (and your husband) should learn all you can about Church teaching BEFORE you send your kids to the school. There may very well be things you don't know, and when making this decision you should know EVERYTHING you can.

That's it for now...good luck and do let us know what you've decided.

Regards,

PS: Kudos to you for taking on homeschooling. Not everybody could do it.

[Nachum]

Rude because of something I posted here, or because of some part of another conversation you have heard?

[AdA$tra]

Here is my take: They would fit in GREAT in our small, underfunded, Parish school. Last year we had a family of Muslims from Bosnia staying with a family in our Parish. They attended our school and mass and thought it was great. One of the boys was in my Webelos group. It is the finest environment for cultural exchange that I can imagine. I know for a fact that our current priest and especially our former priest were HUGE on the old testament teachings and all things Jewish within the Catholic faith. I grew up Presbyterian and became Catholic a few years before my late wife died. Our four boys were raised Catholic and our priest at the time really hooked my up. So I became Catholic. I would never have done it if it were not for the genuine people in this particular Parish. Consider that a factor in your decision. If your option is a middle-class, down to earth group of people, I say go for it.

[missyme]

This is just my opinion and nothing else.
I have spoken to you 3 many times, usually around issues that center around Judiasm and Christianity, I have never been insultive,rude, obnoxious or beligerent.

I realize FR can produce some "Hot topics when your talking to others regarding Politics and Religion, but this forum has always been a way for people to express views without being attacked.

I have been accused of trying to convert some "Jewish
people to christianity because I defend my own personal belief in Jesus as the Son of G-d.

And you know what even when I did nothing wrong I apologized many times to you 3 and what I got back was the big blow off---Is this part of being "Jewish" because Jesus said forgive people in fact that was one of the biggest parts of his sermons, so this leads me to beleive that if you don't accept his teachings then it's fine for you to be nasty, rude unforgiving and in-tolerant. I guess that is why I would not want to be jewish if that is what it's all about. Again I am sorry for being harsh, but I said how you 3 made me feel.

[ChicagoHebrew]

Yaelle,

Speaking as a Jew (albeit an unmarried 24yrd old without children) I would strongly caution against sending your child to a specifically Christian institution if you want him to stay within the Jewish faith.

I doubt that Catholic school will "convert" him immediately. However, as he attends the school, his social circle will be built up among almost entirely non-Jews. When he starts dating, it will be with non-Jewish women heavily steeped in the Christian tradition.

I guess the question that you need to ask yourself is: how Jewish do you want your son to be? Leading a true Jewish life is hard, and could require several sacrifices on your part.

The first thing I would do is speak to the Chabad Rabbis about getting your child an Orthodox conversion. It does not matter that you "feel" fully Jewish-- if you don't get him an Orthodox conversion, he will forever be shut out from many aspects of Jewish life. I do know what I'm talking about here-- my father grew up with a Jewish father and Conservative-converted mother. He stuggled with the issue, but eventually decided to Orthodox convert in his 30s. He is very happy he did-- it instantly improved his ability to be accepted within his community. I know its tough, but it's the "price" of admission.

Second, I would seriously consider moving into a Jewish neighborhood. My cousins have totally abandoned Judaism-- despite having Shul-going parents. My brother and I have not. I think a major reason is that my cousins drove 45 minutes each week to synagouge, and went to public school and after-school activities in an exclusively Christian neighborhood. My brother and I grew up in a 30% Jewish neighborhood, with 3 Orthodox synagouges, 2 Conservative syanouges, a JCC, a kosher bakery, bagel and pizza place all within walking distance. None of this should be considered critical of Christians-- I have no doubt that the people my cousins grew up near are genuine, good-hearted wonderful people. However, without the community support, my cousins assimilated-- they didn't turn Christian, they just turned "nothing."

Again, this all depends on how important your Judaism is to you. If you are quite happy with children who will grow up to intermarry, and grandchildren who raise their children as secular Christians, than do as you wish. If however you want your descendents to remain Jewish in perpetuity, you have to take affirmative steps to ensure they are raised in a very Jewish environment.

[ChicagoHebrew]

May I ask what the Catholic curriculum IS re sex ed?

As I recall from my high school days on the high-school debating circuit (which was 70% Catholic schools and only a few public schools), the curriculum mostly consists of cute Catholic girls in short-skirts looking to rebel from their parents and nuns.

[ChicagoHebrew]

so this leads me to beleive that if you don't accept his teachings then it's fine for you to be nasty, rude unforgiving and in-tolerant. I guess that is why I would not want to be jewish if that is what it's all about. Again I am sorry for being harsh, but I said how you 3 made me feel.

Gee... you make comments like this and wonder why we are rude to you. Well, that and your refusal to not take "no" for an answer in constantly pestering us with posts trying (very poorly) to convert us.

[malakhi]

missyme, you initiated the dispute (such as it is) on this thread with your reply #103. I don't know why you think you can call someone rude, and question his character, and then expect courteous treatment in response. As it is, Nachum replied to you only with a question. Frankly, if anyone here is being rude, it is you.

I apologized many times to you 3 and what I got back was the big blow off---Is this part of being "Jewish" because Jesus said forgive people in fact that was one of the biggest parts of his sermons, so this leads me to beleive that if you don't accept his teachings then it's fine for you to be nasty, rude unforgiving and in-tolerant.

What the hell is this about? Why are you dragging me into this? I haven't even posted on this thread until you pinged me.

If you think, because I don't believe in Jesus, that I believe I have the right to be "nasty, rude unforgiving and in-tolerant", so be it. I really don't care what you think about me.

I stopped posting to you because I found you unreasonable and unwilling seriously to consider the answers other people provided to your questions. I hereby request that you no longer ping me, post to me, or freepmail me.

[malakhi]

Let me add that I agree with Yehuda's and ChicagoHebrew's posts. I can speak from experience as the product of an assimilated Jewish mother and a (nominally) Catholic father. In all of my mother's extended family, there are only two -- a cousin and myself -- who are practicing Jews. And it took me until I was 30 to begin learning even the basics of Judaism. If you want your children to be Jewish as adults, you need to establish a strong foundation now.

[missyme]

I was not speaking to you and Malakhi about this thread, I think you know the last time I posted on a topic with you 2 it was very hurtful twoards me and when I privately emailed Malakhi and apologized to you, you gave me the big blow off like I was a person that did not matter. I told you many times that my intention was never to convert you or anyone.
As I don't know either of you nor you don't know me it comes down to a character of a person you think you are speaking to you by there posts. I won't bother you anymore but I just felt I needed you to know this so maybe next time you won't be so hard to someone who is truly decent.

[Blessed]

I have two college age daughters that attended a non-denominational Christian School. Over an 8 year period we interacted with students from public,secular private,parochial,Jewish,Muslim and Christian Schools.My advice would be to go to a few sporting events at the school.Check out the sores near the school at dismissal time.See if you can see a difference in their students.If you can't then you need not worry about the religious education because it is not effective.If this is the case you need only determine if the education is better than that at the government schools.

[VaBthang4]

ROTFLOL!!
Shot down that quick? Hahaha

[Nachum]

what I got back was the big blow off---

?

You know missyme, I am not sure when I did that. I am not sure how I did it either. I do remember a conversation in which I first became defensive with you for some reason (probably religion) but then we had a productive exchange. I do remember apologizing to you for my first response to you as well.

At any rate, if I was rude to you I apologize. As for my character, I have often been called one. (or worse) :)

[missyme]

Hi Nachum,
Thank You...:-) I enjoy talking with so many Freepers about topics that can generate alot of heat with people.. especially Politics and Religion and as a female I guess I can be sensitive at times, but I also apologize if I came on to harsh...I hope to always talk to you again about our exciting threads here on Free Republic.

Have a great Thanksgiving!
Missy

[ladyinred]

First of all, I am not a Catholic, but having said that, if I had a child of school age and could not homeschool, I would not hesitate to put him or her in Catholic school.

I would however, hesitate to send him or her to public school these days, and I commend you for not doing that.

[ladyinred]

Ignoring what else is wrong with your post, I would like to point out that Catholic elemetary school teachers are almost universally lay women.

And in public school they could also get molested sexually, and I know they will get their minds molested!