If You Like Fox News, You'll Hate Canada (And Canada will hate you in return)

The American Enterprise ^ | September 2, 2003 | Marni Soupcoff

[quidnunc]

A couple of months ago, columnist Doug Patton penned an article titled, “If You Like Canada, You’ll Love Howard Dean.” His point was that the far left Democratic Presidential candidate’s collectivist leanings on issues such as healthcare and taxes bear a strong resemblance to the near-socialist government setup in nearby Canada. Indeed, Dean’s surprising popularity is a good indicator of the trend amongst many left-libs in the U.S. to openly envy, admire, and aspire to Canada’s big government, model with its extensive social safety net and universal health care system. They marvel at Canada where people are free and taken care of.  

Well, as a born and raised Canadian who has returned to her native land after a decade in the States, I’m here to pose an important question to these liberal Democrats: How free can a people be if they’re not allowed to choose what they watch on TV?  

You see, what Canadians really want to watch is American television. The professors and stuffed shirts who make up Canada’s cultural elite do not like to admit this fact (CBC-loving Canadian nationalists will be the last people on the planet to notice that every remotely amusing Canadian ends up in Hollywood), but it’s true. Canadians thirst for timely episodes of Ozzie cursing a blue streak on “The Osbournes.” They crave the ability to flip on ESPN and catch a ballgame no one else is carrying. They long for the novel pleasure of watching current events discussed by right-wing pundits on a conservative-slanted network like Fox News. (Well, okay, maybe that last one applies mostly to members of my immediate family, but you get the picture.) Yet, in all of these cases, Canadian viewers are denied.  

Why? It all boils down to the disturbingly powerful Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC), a quasi government agency that regulates what can be shown on Canadian airwaves and decides which TV channels Canadians may access.  

The CRTC has decided, in its infinite cultural wisdom, that American stations such as HBO and MTV are simply not healthy for Canadians because they would steal viewers away from Canadian television offerings. Music videos? There’s no excuse for a healthy Canadian teenage girl drooling over imperialist MTV VJ Carson Daly when she could just as easily be drooling over an equally young, attractive, vacuous Canadian VJ on Canada’s Much Music network. Funny stuff? The CRTC is not going to let Canadians watch America’s Comedy Central because they’d probably realize what absolute crud is shown on the Canadian Comedy Network (man cannot live by SCTV reruns alone) and they’d never tune in again.  

It’s not that the CRTC is opposed to everything foreign, of course. The Commission is currently considering an application by Canadian cable companies to add Arabic language news network al-Jazeera to the selection of television channels available for Canadian consumption. It’s just the American stuff the cultural puritans at the CRTC can’t stomach.

-snip-

[1Old Pro]

l live in Canada and have an illegal dish.Don't tell the Government.l subscribe to Fox.lt helps me keep my sanity

It seems to me that a Canadian should be llowed to buy a DISH over the internet, as I did, and set it up. Then contact DISH network and give them a credit card to bill services to.

How would the Canadian government even know??

[philosofy123]

I watched the Canadian Broadcasting news a few times on C-SPAN, it was fantastic. They have a anchorman with a deep-clear voice that rival any anchor on all the US network news. I keep calling him the man with the voice!

If any one knows which guy I am talking about, and can confirm my judgment about his BIG voice, please reply.

[ConservativeStLouisGuy]

Here is the article in it's entirety....as a transplanted American here in Canada I find this article SO TRUE!!!!. Thanks for leading me to the article! :-)

- ConservativeStLouisGuy
____________________________________________________

If You Like Fox News, You'll Hate Canada

A couple of months ago, columnist Doug Patton penned an article titled, "If You Like Canada, You'll Love Howard Dean." His point was that the far left Democratic Presidential candidate's collectivist leanings on issues such as healthcare and taxes bear a strong resemblance to the near-socialist government setup in nearby Canada. Indeed, Dean's surprising popularity is a good indicator of the trend amongst many left-libs in the U.S. to openly envy, admire, and aspire to Canada's big government, model with its extensive social safety net and universal health care system. They marvel at Canada where people are free and taken care of.

Well, as a born and raised Canadian who has returned to her native land after a decade in the States, I'm here to pose an important question to these liberal Democrats: How free can a people be if they’re not allowed to choose what they watch on TV?

You see, what Canadians really want to watch is American television. The professors and stuffed shirts who make up Canada's cultural elite do not like to admit this fact (CBC-loving Canadian nationalists will be the last people on the planet to notice that every remotely amusing Canadian ends up in Hollywood), but it's true. Canadians thirst for timely episodes of Ozzie cursing a blue streak on "The Osbournes." They crave the ability to flip on ESPN and catch a ballgame no one else is carrying. They long for the novel pleasure of watching current events discussed by right-wing pundits on a conservative-slanted network like Fox News. (Well, okay, maybe that last one applies mostly to members of my immediate family, but you get the picture.) Yet, in all of these cases, Canadian viewers are denied.

Why? It all boils down to the disturbingly powerful Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC), a quasi government agency that regulates what can be shown on Canadian airwaves and decides which TV channels Canadians may access.

The CRTC has decided, in its infinite cultural wisdom, that American stations such as HBO and MTV are simply not healthy for Canadians because they would steal viewers away from Canadian television offerings. Music videos? There's no excuse for a healthy Canadian teenage girl drooling over imperialist MTV VJ Carson Daly when she could just as easily be drooling over an equally young, attractive, vacuous Canadian VJ on Canada's Much Music network. Funny stuff? The CRTC is not going to let Canadians watch America's Comedy Central because they'd probably realize what absolute crud is shown on the Canadian Comedy Network (man cannot live by SCTV reruns alone) and they'd never tune in again.

It's not that the CRTC is opposed to everything foreign, of course. The Commission is currently considering an application by Canadian cable companies to add Arabic language news network al-Jazeera to the selection of television channels available for Canadian consumption. It's just the American stuff the cultural puritans at the CRTC can't stomach.

Video of Osama bin Laden covertly cuing his sleeper cells to take terrorist action in North America? No problem. Tony Soprano talking about whacking someone at the Bada Bing? No way.

So, we Canadians find ourselves in the absurd position of potentially being able to tune into the latest news on the jihad against the imperialist, murderous, blood-sucking Jewish Zionist conspiracy, but unable to catch an episode of "Hannity and Colmes" because a bureaucrat at the CRTC has decided the former is more culturally acceptable than the latter. The Canadian government just doesn't trust its citizens to make their own decisions about what content—be it fluff or high art—they want to grace their own personal boob tubes.

Of course, if Canadians don't like their current cable television offerings, they might be tempted to shell out some bucks for a foreign satellite dish (read an American DirecTV satellite system) and pick up some of the juicy American signals (Look, there's Carson Daly showing Angelina Jolie his tattoo!) drifting across the border. But the CRTC tells us that this - as Richard Nixon once put it - would be wrong. It would also be illegal.

Last year, the Canadian Supreme Court ruled that unscrambling foreign satellite signals (read transmissions of "Rugrats" reruns on American Nickelodeon or "The O'Reilly Factor" on Fox News) is against the law. And I don't mean against the law in the way that littering is against the law, with violations punished by sternly disapproving looks from elderly fellow citizens. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) are actually actively engaged in raiding satellite television shops, seizing DirecTV satellite equipment, and hanging onto it for months before finally levying charges of "conspiracy to sell and distribute American satellite systems."

It's a scenario that would impress 1984's Big Brother, but it does little for the cultural freedom and independence of Canadian citizens, 83 percent of whom say they want good quality programming available regardless of where it comes from, and 64 percent of whom say they think there should be no restrictions on access to non-Canadian channels.

So, the next time you're thinking about emigrating to Canada to take advantage of all those cheap government-capped prices on prescription drugs or the cradle-to-grave universal health care system, just remember this: No regime of extensive government regulation comes without its price: a tax on personal choice and freedom.

And the Canadian government doesn't care if you want your MTV.

(Marni Soupcoff sneaks in some Fox News viewing during her trips to the U.S. Her column appears Mondays on TAEmag.com.)

[IvanT]

Welcome to my repressed country. Repressed and brainwashed is what we are, and the sad thing is, it took place slowly, over 40 years of Liberal government. It was so slow, in fact, that no one noticed it. People up here are wrong about a great many issues, but the truly scary part is, they don't even know they're wrong. Only a precious few have thoughts of their own (I.e. thoughts that stray from Liberal rhetoric and propaganda) and for the most part, we get ostracised and labelled racists. I am an outcast with all my team mates on my football (soccer) team because of voicing my conservative ideas. Scary indeed.

[Squawk 8888]

You're correct, there are still CanCon quotas and a lot of acts that get undeserved airplay. It's a shame that most mainstream stations use the same handful of artists to fill the quota, because there is a lot of seriously good talent that nobody ever hears. The alternative stations (like Edge102 in Toronto) plays much better Canadian music, but they also play better American and British music.

[Squawk 8888]

I thought that there was at least Canadian satellite service available to Canadians and it was just illegal to receive American satellite TV.

There are two satellite services here- but they aren't allowed to carry anything that isn't already available on cable.

[Squawk 8888]

Yeah, but our balls are bigger ;)

[Squawk 8888]

If it was CTV news then you're talking about Lloyd Robertson, the national anchor since, oh, 800BC I think.

[Fishrrman]

Sunstar wrote:
Satellite dishes are also illegal in Canada... just like in the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Amazing. I didn't know that. Absolutely astounding - it reveals much about the Canadian government - and why, after Quebec eventually splits away, the English-speaking provinces (other than Ontario, the seat of Candian socialism) will court statehood with the United States.

On the other hand, if things keep going the way they're going _here_, satellite dishes and Internet connections may someday be illegal HERE, as well!

Cheers!
- John

[Ichneumon]

. They long for the novel pleasure of watching current events discussed by right-wing pundits on a conservative-slanted network like Fox News. (Well, okay, maybe that last one applies mostly to members of my immediate family, but you get the picture.)

Not just her family. Like the US, different regions of Canada have differing political leanings. Conservatives (or the Canadian equivalent, anyway) are thick as flies in the province of Alberta, for example, as well as most of British Columbia away from the coastline.

[kari72]

I really don't think so, I live in Canada and I have HBO, Showtime, etc. thru a Canadian satellite provider (Direct tv). I also know people who have the illegal type. What is illegal is smuggling satellite dishes in from the US (not paying Canadian taxes) and then setting them up so that you get American & Canadian channels for free. It's something called satellite piracy. Someone I (used to) know does it.

[McGavin999]

A good friend who happens to be Canadian was here yesterday.

You really want to stunn her? Take her to the local grocery store. The selection, the fresh fruits (that are actually the color they're supposed to be) will boggle her mind.

When I came home after working 4 years up there my first trip was to the produce department of the local grocery. I just stood there and looked for about a half hour :o)

[doc30]

She complained that she couldn't get HBO. Their movie channel is "Cinemax". Of course Cinemax would be the Canadian government's choice for movie channels. It's the one that shows the most soft porn.

Last time I visited family in Canada, I was saddened that Fox News was unavailable. The Canadian government considers it to have too much "editorial" content that borders on hate speech. No kidding. Anyone that slams homosexuals or is counter-PC is a hate-monger. Hence Fox News will never see the light of day in Canada.

[doc30]

Satellite dishes are also illegal in Canada... just like in the Islamic Republic of IranSatellite dishes aren't banned in Canada. Only satellite content controlled by the government is permitted. You can't tune into the U.S. satellite services becasue that would violate the Canadian content laws. The coverage of criminal trials cannot be done until after the trial is over. ALso, the goverment censors news stories on election day untill all polls are closed. Canada is the incubator for the Thought Police and where government beurocrats know what's best for you to learn and that does not include anything pro-American.

[doc30]

Then contact DISH network and give them a credit card to bill services to.DISH networks only bill to U.S. addresses. Too much of a credit risk to bill outside the country where they have no ability to collect for non-payment.

[Allan]

Ping

[Allan]

If any one knows which guy I am talking about, and can confirm my judgment about his BIG voice, please reply.

If you're talking about that bald guy on thorazine
that's Peter Mansbridge.

My favorite recollection of him is when he interviewed Margaret Thatcher.

She ripped him to pieces and he looked as if he was going to cry.

[-YYZ-]

Oh, please, don't you guys ever get tired of spouting off about things you know nothing about?

We get lots of US channels on cable and sattelite here. There are some that aren't allowed, however, because they would compete with Canada's versions of those. (not saying I agree with this thinking, btw) Also, you can't legally get US sattelite services because they won't knowingly sell them here. The reason for this is that broadcasters buy the rights to broadcast programming in certain markets, and the US broadcasters aren't paying for the rights to broadcast in Canada. Canadian broadcasters are paying for the rights to broadcast that programming in Canada.

Now, the Canadian gov't is cracking down on the distributors of grey market dishes in Canada, and will confiscate them from those who own them if they find them. Of course, most of them are also being used with illegal "cracked" HU cards and such to allow piracy of signals not paid for. This is mostly a sop to the Canadian dish networks, but they are also cracking down on those who distribute equipment for piracy of Canadian sattelite signals.

Yes, our laws require that there is no reporting of election results in western regions where the polls close later than those in the east, for somewhat obvious reasons. They do not censor news stories not related to election results. And yes, our gov't enforces publication bans (when there is one, which is not in all trials) on reporting of trials in Canada.

To sum up, yes we do do some things differently here, and our government does try to defend Canadian culture as they see it. I don't agree with Canadian content requirements personally, although they did help to foster Canadian performers in the past, but the situation is hardly as draconian or all-encompassing as you make it out.

[philosofy123]

I guess you are right, his name is Peter. He has such a big voice. I did not see his interview with Thatcher. I actually first seen him this year.

[general_re]

Cinemax is 10000% better than the cr@p on hBO

Cinemax is owned by HBO - subscribe to 'Max, and you're still paying HBO ;)