Things only people from the South know

8-27-03 | Unkown

[WKB]

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you pitch one and have the other.

Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, Turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a mess.

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin').

True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

True Southerners both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash. <> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb.

A true Southerner knows how to understand Southern a booger can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive ("That ol' booger!") or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you to death.

True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines." And when we're in line, we talk to everybody.

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, if only by marriage.

True Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."

True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green tomatoes are not breakfast food.

When you ask someone how they're doing and they reply, " Fair to middlin.", you know you're in the presence of a genuine Southerner.

Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened, "sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the freeway? You say, "Bless her heart" and go on your way.

[185JHP]

Or since Hector was a pup..

[sweetliberty]

The recipe I have for sweet potato pie doesn't have the spices either, but it IS good! Yes, sweetened, condensed milk. Very rich. I've had it both ways.

[Eagle Eye]

Go Trojans!

[wardaddy]

And to think I gave up drugs so long ago...maybe I should start back, it might help.

Indeed, mafree pinged me to #567. I hit the post she replies to (574) and was amazed at the narrative.

My bad.

And thank you DC2000 for helping my feeble brain navigate these perilous waters.

Having mea culpa-ed enough over the faux paux, I would like to say that I found that post...574 to be remarkable. Willie Morris could not have matched that walk down memory lane.

I think I will do an addendum myself if I can hold up.

[sweetliberty]

"On Fridays she say on taking her leave, "Sabat sholom y'all".

LOL! That reminds me of a FReeper friend in Hawaii (he doesn't really post, mostly lurks). His daddy was from Alabama and his mama is Japanese. He's lived for many years in Hawaii. I met him in a political chatroom where he would always greet us with, "aloha, y'all."

[Eagle Eye]

You know, I never thought I'd consider a panhandle summer to be mild. But by comparison, it is. But the last 2-3 days have been nice. Low 100's feels nice after teens and twenties.

[WKB]

I didn't say anything because I didn't want to look ignert!!

[dixiechick2000]

"Very rich."

Boy...that ain't the half of it!

But, it is scrumptious!

[sweetliberty]

"there are 3 distinct parts of NC"

Virginia is like that too. You have the Appalachian folks, the tidewater folks, the rural and semi-rural southern Virginia folks (Richmond and south) and then you have northern Virginia, which is more yankee than southern with pockets of exceptions. The accent varies, too, across those areas.

[dixiechick2000]

Gosh, wardaddy! You're very welcome. It was an easy mistake to make.

It was an awesome post, wasn't it...

Just_de_facts, we've been talking about your great post!

[Fraulein]

My Grannies name was Laura Belle and my Grandads was Roy Earl.

Great names! Classic!

[Fraulein]

I only ever got called by one name, but it was my middle and not my first.

I was given 'two names' but I only go by my first name. My mother laments over that to this day: "If I had known you were only going to go by your first name, then I would have named you something else!"

[sweetliberty]

"Isn't it odd how grating "pop" can be if your not used it?"

I think it was either Jeff Foxworthy or Bill Engvall that said "pop" sounds like you have to scrunch your butt up to say it. LOL!

[Just_de_facts]

Sorry, meant to type J.K. Vardaman. he was governor
and senator int the early 1900's. The sweet potatoe festival
is in the town named after him.

[sweetliberty]

Pralines and boiled peanuts.....YUMMMMMM!!!!

[Just_de_facts]

Thats Papa Echols.

[Just_de_facts]

Any good Delta girl always wore chapstick on her thighs.

[dixiechick2000]

Did somebody mention boiled peanuts?

Absolutely my favorite! I could eat my weight in them;

My mother tried to send green peanuts to me so that I could boil them, but they went bad en route.;o(

However, there are some that are packaged for shipping.
Not as good as fresh, but better than nuthin'!

[sweetliberty]

I went to the balloon thingy in South Carolina, must have been in 1999. It was in Anderson. What a fun day. Ate boiled peanuts and drank RC till I couldn't hold any more. I was still living in Colorado at the time so was really missing southern eating. I ate enough bbq on that 2 week trip it's a wonder I didn't grow a curly tail and start squealing.

[dixiechick2000]

THAT was funny! ;o)