Things only people from the South know

8-27-03 | Unkown

[WKB]

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you pitch one and have the other.

Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, Turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a mess.

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin').

True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

True Southerners both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash. <> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb.

A true Southerner knows how to understand Southern a booger can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive ("That ol' booger!") or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you to death.

True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines." And when we're in line, we talk to everybody.

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, if only by marriage.

True Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."

True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green tomatoes are not breakfast food.

When you ask someone how they're doing and they reply, " Fair to middlin.", you know you're in the presence of a genuine Southerner.

Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened, "sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the freeway? You say, "Bless her heart" and go on your way.

[PleaseNoMore]

True Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."

True Southerners can spell "y'all". :o)

[sweet_diane]

mmmmm...cheese and garlic grits and a mess of fried shrumps!

a glimpse of heaven on earth!

[bankwalker]

"I am a newcomer in these here parts, can you tell how to get to the lake?"

Ya cain't git thar from here...

[wardaddy]

I have a hard time eating a nice watermelon with no salt.

I have been fortunate enough to have a dozen or so really nice ones this summer. In fact, you've got me thinking about getting another one.

(they just take up so damned much refrigerator space)

[PleaseNoMore]

"it came up a cloud"

I rarely hear that anymore. My grandfather is the only one I know that says it anymore.

[HenryLeeII]

Its one of them yankee bastard-I-zations of Southern culture...

[sweet_diane]

43 years of living in Louisiana, Texas and Alabama and I've yet to meet someone called 'Cooter'...except that feller Cooter Brown and his dog, but that's a way different story of unknown origin.

I do have an Uncle Bubba, by marriage.... a fine, hard working family man.

[sweet_diane]

"We are trying to find out if this is southern,Texan or just part of our family language. The cook in the kitchen says"I'll 'let' you set the table while I finish cooking dinner".Any one know?"

I let my kids unload the dishwasher... I let them bring the trash can in from the road. Just last night I let my Husband take out the trash!

I dew declare, don'tcha know, that letting one do a chore is so much gentler then making them do it. While I did grow up in Texas, all my people come from Mississippi, Alabama and Tenn...so it's not a Texas thing (where they don't even serve sweet tea in restaurants!).

[martin_fierro]

That thread just keeps popping (sodaing? tonicing?) up! <|:)~

[sweet_diane]

"You got a cook? wow!"

The cook always worked for pay and tote.

[wardaddy]

In Brasil, breakfast at times and the big Sunday meal called Fejoada (fe-joe-a-da) comes with ground dried cassava (yucca) called farinha (fa-rin-nyha).

It is fairly grits like too and can be made into a gruel as well.

My own tatse for gruel has never been grits oddly. I prefer sweetened cream of wheat with milk or cream or stone cut oats in the same manner.

Little morsels of info everyone simply must have..lol

[sweet_diane]

UCLA...Unknown College of Lower Alabama. ie Troy State University!

[kcat]

In the south you don't ask if someone wants a soft drink, you ask if they want a coke. Then maybe you will let on that you have sprite or maybe another choice, but every soft drink is a coke.

[Libertina]

I promise to try, since I have been sounding more like a sailor of late ;)

[wardaddy]

Crumpets??

Yeah you can just buy them now like English Muffins.

You must have been raised "uptown"...lol

[mtbopfuyn]

Knee high to a grasshopper. Just a piss ant. Git gone.

Directions usually include landmarks that no longer exists - Drive down thar, go around the bend a ways, and a bit past where the Brown's ol' barn used to be...

Southern dawgs know when and why it's time to co'mon and git in the truck.

Not to get folks all in a tizzy, there are still old Southern black women who refer to themselves as Negras.

The best way to eat tomatoes, other than fried, is to pick them ripe and warm straight off the vine, take a bite and let the juice run down your chin (same with a peach). Or slather some mayo on a couple slices of soft white bread, add a couple thick slices of homegrown tomato and salt and pepper, and stand over the sink to let the juice run off your chin.

Scrambled eggs and brains for breakfast. Smooth gravy is gravy w/out flour lumps, not that any good Southern cook would make lumpy gravy. Fried salt pork. Pigs feet and pinto beans. Fried rattlesnake and fried armadillo. And watermelon rind is pickled. Actually, anything that will sit still long enough will get pickled.

The state tree of Texas is a pecan which is pronounced pu-con not pee-can. A pee can is an empty coffee can one takes on long car trips.

[MEG33]

My daughter buys sweet tea by the gallon from Chick fil a!When I was young..sweet tea was always served in cafes and it was unsweetened that was the "option".(small towns had cafes not restaurants).My mother in law made a sweet tea more like a tea punch.It was big hit at family gatherings.I do declare,I think it's all those yankee franchises that moved in and messed things up! .Thanks for the answer on "let you".

[bourbon]

DC2k--thanks for the ping! I enjoyed the list.

WKB--You are the king of the long threads are you! 450+ posts?!? Do you drink a secret potion first thing in the morning or something?

[bourbon]

WKB--post #458 was for you too. I screwed that up.

Also, "You are the king of the long threads are you" should read "You are the king of the long threads AREN'T you?" My vacation has adversely affected my typing/posting skills. Sorry!

[N8VTXNinWV]

I love this.... the only thing I see wrong in the posting is the "ya'll". It's "y'all"... contraction for you all. True Southerners know the difference, lol. We know the differnce between "all y'all" and "all y'alls", too! lol