Things only people from the South know

8-27-03 | Unkown

[WKB]

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you pitch one and have the other.

Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, Turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a mess.

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin').

True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

True Southerners both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash. <> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb.

A true Southerner knows how to understand Southern a booger can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive ("That ol' booger!") or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you to death.

True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines." And when we're in line, we talk to everybody.

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, if only by marriage.

True Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."

True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green tomatoes are not breakfast food.

When you ask someone how they're doing and they reply, " Fair to middlin.", you know you're in the presence of a genuine Southerner.

Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened, "sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the freeway? You say, "Bless her heart" and go on your way.

[dixiechick2000]

" Grits are...........uh, well......grits are grits!"

Girls Raised In The South

Heheh

[BnBlFlag]

"How about a cow pi$$ing on a flat rock?"......,.That too!

[PurVirgo]

I like to drop a fried egg in there, break it up, add salt, pepper and a dab of tobasco

[oyez]

Also they had to cut back on the carbon dioxide. If they used the old formula today the CO2 would blow up the aluminum cans and discharge the caps from the plastic bottles.

[TexasCowboy]

"Girls Raised In The South"

I hadn't ever heard that, but I like it!

[dixiechick2000]

That sounds yummy! I'll have to try it.

[rightofrush]

Your mention of a cute use of "y'all" reminded me a Southern Belle we knew that married a Christian Jew (they observe Jewish holy days and accept Jesus as Mesiah) and converted.
On Fridays she say on taking her leave, "Sabat sholom y'all".

[TexasCowboy]

'"How about a cow pi$$ing on a flat rock?".'

In sensitive company, that's a female bovine urinating on a horizontal igneous surface.

[oyez]

"Did y'all have clabber?"

Yeah, they put fruit and sugar in it and call it yogert.

[dixiechick2000]

I have a T-Shirt that I picked up on one of my trips home that says G.R.I.T.S.".

The people in Oregon are dumbfounded when they read it.

I got the reaction I wanted.;o)

[PurVirgo]

oh it is! the yolks give it a great flavor - learned it in Kannapolis, NC (home of Earnhardt Jr =)

[Fraulein]

"Kiss my grits!"

[dixiechick2000]

"learned it in Kannapolis, NC (home of Earnhardt Jr =)"

Really? I moved to Oregon from Wilmington, and I didn't know that!

Wow!

[dixiechick2000]

LOL!

"when pigs fly"

[TexasCowboy]

It would be interesting to know where grit country starts and stops.
I know in my travels that when it stops, no one even knows what you're talking about!

[rightofrush]

RC cola and moon pies.

Not Seminole Cola? Not Double Cola?

[Fraulein]

LOL!

[TexasCowboy]

Past my bedtime.
See ya later!

[Fraulein]

It would be interesting to know where grit country starts and stops.

Well I know Waffle House sells grits.

[PurVirgo]

Well, I lived there for 8-9 years, and I learned that there are 3 distinct parts of NC

Appalachia, Central, and Eastern. Each have their own ways, even different accents. hehe, I found it very difficult to understand far eastern NC folks, the mountain folks are just good as gold (don't piss em off), the the central ones (Raleigh to Charlotte) are mostly transplants like I was, so I think you get a little of everything there.