Things only people from the South know

8-27-03 | Unkown

[WKB]

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you pitch one and have the other.

Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, Turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a mess.

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin').

True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

True Southerners both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash. <> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb.

A true Southerner knows how to understand Southern a booger can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive ("That ol' booger!") or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you to death.

True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines." And when we're in line, we talk to everybody.

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, if only by marriage.

True Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."

True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green tomatoes are not breakfast food.

When you ask someone how they're doing and they reply, " Fair to middlin.", you know you're in the presence of a genuine Southerner.

Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened, "sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the freeway? You say, "Bless her heart" and go on your way.

[Fraulein]

Reckon -- i.e., "Reckon why nobody showed up?"

[radiohead]

My grandmother kept grease on her stove like that. It's a wonder we aren't all dead from eating that stuff. Did people even refridgerate it at night or anything? Yuck.

[bobwoodard]

The Definitive Breakdown of "Pop" vs "Soda"

I was wondering why Yankees will bring you a Coca Cola when you ask for a coke. The correct response (of course) is to ask what kind (Sprite, Grape Nehi, Dr Pepper, Cola, etc). They just don't seem to get it.

[teldon30]

sure...cheese grits and fried mullet...shut yo mouf!

[B-Chan]

Medundo = menudo. Yo siento mucho; soy hombre borracho, mi...

[WKB]

Reckon -- i.e., "Reckon why nobody showed up?"


"Sumpun just told me it would be like this"

[DeFault User]

Comes menudo a menudo?

[Fraulein]

Up north I once said to a waitress, "Yeah, I think I'd like a Coke. What kind do y'all have?" The waitress thought I was an idiot. No, they just don't get it...

[Fraulein]

"Nary a one showed up!"

[SandRat]

Dang! I thawt it was spelt kerry

[lilylangtree]

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" asked Bubba.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-eater?"

"I sure do," answered the redneck.

Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor. The professor continued: "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."

Impressed, the redneck shouted, "GAWL-LEEE!!"

"And since you own a house and a house is tough to take care of by yourself, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"Sally Mae! This is incredible!" (Bubba is obviously catching on.)

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual rather than homosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heerd of. I can't wait to take this here logic class."

Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin?" he asks.

"Math, history, and logic," replies Bubba.

"What in tarnation is logic?"

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?"

"No."

"You're a queer, ain't ya?"

[Luis Gonzalez]

I'm from southern Cuba you know...

[Fraulein]

to beat the band

[WKB]

"Nary a one showed up!"

sppose what happen to 'em

[Luis Gonzalez]

My grandmother used to do that...in Spanish of course.

Pour the coffee into the saucer and drink it from there!

[Gringo1]

And always with a hamhock in them!

[MEG33]

like nobody's business...like all get out!

[Fraulein]

podunk

[potlatch]

That's true, cause we jes kep usin it en addin toit! Somebody new to FR will think we're illiterate, LOL!

[Luis Gonzalez]

Menudo...I couldn't think of anything called medundo.

We slaughter a pig every year, on the 22nd. of December, it gets cleaned and set in marinade on the night of the 23rd, and gets set on a slooooooow fire (in the ground) on the late morning of the 24th.

While it's roasting, mom cooks the heart and all the organs (including the tongue) in a spicy tomato sauce, that goes down GREAT with a cold beer.

That's called mondongo.