Legal Tragedy for Unemployed Divorced Men & Fathers

[Mike4Freedom]

Yes I did file for reduction of alimomy & child support. I also have been unable to pay the orginal amount since it is more than my unemployment! The Judge refuses to listen to that and instead is trying to find me in contempt for non-payment of the original total which is more than my unemployement! This has happened to thousands of men in this country.

Your expereince is, unfortunately, quite typical. They assume that you purposely lost your job to avoid the child support. They do not want to hear it and it will turn out that you wasted whatever money you spent in trying to get the order modified. You will also, in Florida, be required to pay your ex's legal bills to fight against you. (Florida statute 61-16 for those who do not believe this.)

I had a relative who lived through this nightmare. He probably would have suicided except that he was saved by the death of his ex. He then got the kids and the child support nightmare was over. He just had to really support the kids, a much more reasonable endeavor.

[Diverdogz]

I'm pulling for you. The law assumes that if you lose one job, you can replace it with an equal-paying one. That is not the case for most of us today. Good luck.

[holyscroller]

My son was ordered to pay over $4500 a month in alimony and child support. Shortly after, through the dot-com bust, he lost his job and had no income but unemployment insurance. (The few jobs out there had 40-50 people showing up hoping for interviews.) He tried to get the alimony and child support lowered since he no longer had an income, and the judge's response was, "denied...get a job." He had to continue to pay that outrageous amount for nearly a year before he finally got it lowered. His ex-wife, meanwhile, was spending it on taking guys she met on the internet to Vegas. The kids never saw a dime of it. These "women's lib" judges are man-haters. They bend over backward to give everything to the woman, and couldn't care less if they destroy the man for the rest of his life.

[mlmr]

I have met many men professional men, medical doctors, MBAs etc, who have gone on unemployment to not pay their child support...not alimony...child support. I know one man who is gearing his career back up because his younges will be eighteen next year. Mother worked two jobs to keep body and soul together for her children as they crashed from a 180K income to less than 15 over the course of a year.

[StatesEnemy]

Fine.. as long as we tell split tails the same thing...

Did you know that a full 70% of non-custodial 'moms' are in arrears? Of course not, cuz "dead beat dads" is a catchy phrase...

[ImFightingMad]

And 1 more important point:

The courts in Floriduh have made me pay $1000/month in alimony to my ex whom I put through school and she earns >$60K/year as an RN! I'm barely making $1000/month in unemployemnt right now!

[FITZ]

Well --- I'm divorced with children --- and we've left the courts out of it. It seems two adults --- who may not love each other anymore but they once did --- should be able to be reasonable and work some things out. To be honest, I think everyone should start having prenuptial agreements that work out these issues while they're still on speaking terms and have a little feeling for the other.

[loudmouths]

Your plight is not uncommon and if you filed a motion to modify your child support and the Judge denied your motion, then you do have the option to appeal as a pro se litigant.

Lots of work but it can be done. Now if you argue Bill of Rights and such, it is sure to put the Judge in a prejudicial mindset.

If you argue past case decisions, usually that will work, but Judges like to have their judicial discretion.

As for equality, the noncustodial parent loses. If you voluntarily quit a job for a lesser paying job, you still can be held to the previous wage.

Now if the custodial parent decides to do the same, the State will say ok unless of course the custodial parent starts to get public assistance. And then grip and may even force the noncustodial parent to pick up the tab.

This line about get three jobs to make ends meet is B.S. given that your child/children would never get the visitation. It seems the comments to the like put money above the importance of the child seeing the other parent.

[zoesmom]

YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

I've never heard of a "split tail" either, but I'm ok with being one since it apparently means "someone who makes sense".

[Lazamataz]

Can't you simply go to a judge and show him your unemployement stub and ask him how you're supposed to live AND support kids?

This would be logical, would it not?

They don't care. They really don't. In the South, they will put your a&& in jail if you don't pay Child Support and Alimony. Period. No concern as to your situation.

Should you starve? Should you live on the street to make sure they get money from you? Seriously, to expect child support payments while unemployed is absurd.

They simply do not care. And they absolutely do have a cot for you to sleep on.

[FITZ]

Maybe you can manage it somehow by getting support on the 26 year old dropped and you only have until that 17 year old is 18. As far as visitation it's almost not an issue ---- even your youngest is almost an adult and can choose who he wants to visit on his own.

[ImFightingMad]

The company laid off 40% of it's employees. The layoff was involuntary.

At least you see the problem I am in and it is not an isolated case. Something NEEDS to be done about this!

I cannot afford an attorney so I am defending myself.

You mentioned about what happened to a relative, what you said he might do is 1 of my options. If my life is destroyed anyways by the courts, why live. :-(

[Lazamataz]

You should have kept your pants on.

Hang on for a tick. These are married -- and divorced -- men. Are you saying men should avoid marriage and the creation of children inside the institution of marriage at all costs?

Whaddya, a Feminist?

Well, that's too harsh. I don't mean to be harsh. But I do want you to think about what you are saying.

[PigRigger]

When it comes to divorce and children men have little rights in the eyes of the law. The left and women's groups have seen to that.

I'm married with two kids. I make a good living (tech worker just waiting to be outsourced one day); my wife stays at home. If she has an affair and decides to leave me, I'd be looking for a studio to live in. And God forbid my job gets outsourced; a nightmarish reality. That's just the way it is.

Pretty scary stuff; but that's what happens when men don't vote as a group. Men are generally taken for granted when it comes to these issues.

[FITZ]

Also --- get yourself a female lawyer. A guy at work did that --- he told me it's important for a man going up against an ex-wife not to have a male lawyer because it looks like two men against one helpless woman.

[Savage Beast]

I would consider emigrating to another country.

[E. Pluribus Unum]

It is highly immoral and dishonorable to complain about the Courts asking you to pay for an activity YOU caused & chose.

You haven't read a single word of the original post, have you?

Can you read? If so, read and summarize.

[Lazamataz]

By the way, I am refusing to step foot in to Floriduh. The judge wants me in court but he can kiss my ..... He has shown his prejudice and refusal to abide by The Constitution, Bill of Rights and The Amedments.

Uh, dude? Dumb move. If you refuse to go to court, they will issue a Warrant for your arrest. The VERY FIRST time you encounter ANY police officer ANYWHERE in the nation -- for a traffic ticket, for any other reason -- and he runs you on the computer, the Warrant will show up. You will be arrested, handcuffed, and taken to their county lockup for transportation to Florida. At that time, because you will have shown yourself to be a flight risk, they will deny you bail.

Do something more intelligent than this.

[moondancer]

Im usually a lurker, but im dealing with a simular situation myself. usually the posts by men about evil x wives are identical to my own problems with my xhusband. he consitantly asks the courts for less time, less responsibility, less everything. he now wants to lower support which i agreed to work on outside the court, but he loves to litigate EVERYTHING.
my question is since many hear seem familiar with the court systems how do the judges look on this? is it different when a disability has been involved along with a lay off? if he has an exam in a few weeks to decide his potential perminant disability and is attempting to rush this thru court, how does that fair? he has filed, striken and renoted, and both times has filed fraudulent papers, lied about his income ect. im at a total loss how this works. id gladly give him his reduction, but dealing with the courts is frustrating.

[Lazamataz]

I have met many men professional men, medical doctors, MBAs etc, who have gone on unemployment to not pay their child support...not alimony...child support.

This doesn't make any sense. The men need something to live on. Why would they purposely starve and become homeless just to be vindictive to a wife?

I know one man who is gearing his career back up because his younges will be eighteen next year.

This won't help him. He will still be considered in arrears for his old payments and still will need to catch up or face jail.