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He's celibate until marriage, and dates won't tolerate it
Chicago Sun-Times ^ | June 15, 2003 | Mary Mitchell

Posted on 06/15/2003 10:39:14 AM PDT by Mister Magoo

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To: Mister Magoo
"When you give your body, you open an area to them that is really sacred. You exchange spirits with that person and that is how you end up with heartaches, pain and jealousy.

Maybe if he'd had some plain old sex he wouldn't give it up so easy. All that exchanging spirits and stuff is exausting, I prefer the quickie roll in the sack myself. ;-)

101 posted on 06/15/2003 12:30:46 PM PDT by SouthernFreebird
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To: stands2reason
MEDIOCRITY RULES!!!!

It sure is successful in the survival of the fittest.

It is not for us to judge by our conceits--our mental fashions--which measure of brain activity is meritorious.

Nature is the only real judge of that.

102 posted on 06/15/2003 12:30:55 PM PDT by Age of Reason
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To: rwfromkansas
It would be called fornication.

Yeah, I know. I'm just not as religious as some folks here. If it feels good, smells good, tastes good, looks good...it's a sin.

103 posted on 06/15/2003 12:34:26 PM PDT by TheSpottedOwl (America...love it or leave it. Canada is due north-Mexico is directly south...start walking.)
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To: Mister Magoo
If a man doesn't want to have sex with you before marriage, he isn't going to want to have sex with you after marriage.

There's a difference between wanting to have sex before marriage and choosing to honor God and one another by waiting to have sex until after marriage. A person of character can choose not to act on every desire that comes his way, if to do so would be contrary to what he believes is "right" behavior.

104 posted on 06/15/2003 12:34:39 PM PDT by mountaineer
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To: TheSpottedOwl
I don't think I would tolerate it. I appreciate his commitment to remaining celibate until marriage, however if I had spent six months with this gentleman and there was no ring I'd hit the road. I'm just putting myself in these womens shoes.

I gave a Sweetie a diamond ring four months to the day after we met. About four months after that, I gave her a matching gold ring. That night, we were too tired to do anything. But after that...

Still, for some people more time may be needed. I wouldn't fault a woman who, after five months, announced that if she didn't have at least a schedule, if not a ring, she wasn't going to stick around forever.

Note that I wouldn't fault a man for wanting to wait until after specific events before getting engaged. For example, if they were planning a trip to meet her parents, I wouldn't mind him waiting until after such meeting to make his proposal, even if it was more than six months after they first met.

If the woman asked for a commitment out of the blue after six months, and dumped the guy because he wasn't willing to promise within five minutes that he'd marry her, I'd blame the woman. If, however, she game him a reasonable timetable to make such a decision and he refused to either make it or negotiate a different but specific timetable, I'd blame him.

105 posted on 06/15/2003 12:34:50 PM PDT by supercat (TAG--you're it!)
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To: Mister Magoo
Oh, come on. If a man doesn't want to have sex with you before marriage, he isn't going to want to have sex with you after marriage. I've known two guys who advocated celibacy for religious reasons through college and afterward, and both ultimately acknowledged they were homosexuals. If this guy was a heterosexual, believe me, he would have found a woman to marry.

If my wife were still alive, she'd rebut that claim.

106 posted on 06/15/2003 12:36:31 PM PDT by supercat (TAG--you're it!)
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To: hellinahandcart
I still think you're reading too much into it. They were dating for six months and she wanted a committment (and sex). He never said he wasn't in love or that he didn't think their relationship was going anywhere; he just wasn't going to sleep with her unless they were married. Perhaps he was considering proposing to her; perhaps not. Six months is just not that long to be dating. We don't know whether they saw each other once a week, maybe only 24 dates, or every other day.

I'm almost 40. About three years ago, a friend my same age was married to a man after knowing him for about six months. She was certain she was in love; so was he. They divorced six months later. For some it may work, but six months is certainly not the definition of enough time. Courtship can take YEARS. I think it should take years. People are complex and getting to know a person, really know a person, takes time. Given the prevalence of divorce in our society, why rush into marriage?

Naw, just because he doesn't know if he wants to marry a woman in six months doesn't mean he's a control or any other type of freak. It means he's careful. That's a good thing. That he doesn't want to sleep with her unless and until they're married is an even better one.

Look at it another way. Let's say he gives her the committment after six months. The ring, the plans for the wedding, the whole nine yards. They have sex before marriage and then she decides that he's not the guy for her. He's blown his principles for nothing.

The strangest thing is this story all turned around. Women used to be in his shoes upholding morality. Now women (in general) are so slutty that they have no morality. I'd say N.O.W. has done its job.

107 posted on 06/15/2003 12:36:52 PM PDT by FourPeas
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To: Mister Magoo
He didn't say he didn't want to have sex before marriage. He said he'd decided not to have sex before marriage. Big difference. Very big. The first is a natural urge; the second is a Man exercising his free choice to be more than simply an animal behaving as such.
108 posted on 06/15/2003 12:39:27 PM PDT by FourPeas
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To: Mister Magoo
If a man doesn't want to have sex with you before marriage, he isn't going to want to have sex with you after marriage.

There's your mistake. There is a difference between "wanting to" and actaully doing so. I've *wanted* to have sex with several women but I've always resisted the temptation and am still single. Maybe she would have said no and maybe I didn't want to have to deal with the rejection or perhaps I would have left her feeling insulted that all I really wanted was sex when I actually wanted more.

You're worldview is the common one where sex *is* the endgame for men. I'm not that way and never have been. I want to give and receive love, not just have sex but it's become difficult to find even women who grasp that concept.

109 posted on 06/15/2003 12:40:30 PM PDT by Tall_Texan (Why aren't we checking the DNC for WMDs?)
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To: Age of Reason
I'll weigh in as a celibate guy.

I'm peculiar in this regard in that I don't even date either, but then again I have many friends that I'm very close to and I wouldn't trade that for the best sex in the world.

I'll counter those of you who snidely fall back to the "Genetics" argument. Is it possible, just barely possible that a Man is more then the sum of his Genetics?

To be frank, I consider genetics to be the least important factor in what makes me... well "Me". More important are the principles and values that I have chosen to support and abide. I will do more to ensure the creation of human's like me by being devout in the practice of my belief's and dedicated in the pursuit of my ideals, then I ever could breeding.

It is easy to preach, and ineffective. Tis far more difficult to walk the path, but it inspires. I can say confidently that because of that, I have gotten the deep trust of women who were badly badly hurt by men in the past. In some small measure I have managed to help them, I doubt that an orgasm is as fulfilling as knowing that you've helped a good friend.

I'll cede the cranky comment though, there is a certain degree of crankiness that's unavoidable when one chooses to forgo life's greatest comfort (the intimate company of Woman).

Insofar as the comment that Celibate guys wear their choice as blatantly as a militant Homosexual. I find this depends on the company. With most of my friends the celibacy is a non-issue that is rarely mentioned. With some I do throw it out fairly often, this is usually when I'm around somone who is really sexually domineering and brings up his conquests as a matter of pride. It is far more emasculating to display any degree of moral fortitude to such people then it would be to bed more women.

True, its a little bit mean to take the wind out of a Hedonist's sails, but I think it does some good to confront the mercenary sexuality some people have. A look at this thread shows that some are almost deeply offended that a man wouldn't think with his dick, there is a lot of vitriol slung in that case. Hopefully after that one can look at the decisions they've made that would make them recoil at the thought of celibacy.

Oh well, do what you must, feel what you feel... I'm going to follow my path of being a sexual counter-revolutionary.
110 posted on 06/15/2003 12:41:15 PM PDT by Katana16j
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To: Mister Magoo
OK, it's one thing to be celibate during high school. I can understand that. I can even understand being celibate until you get married, assuming you are planning to get married in your early 20s. But if you are still celibate at 33, there is something wrong.

Tell Jesus

111 posted on 06/15/2003 12:41:55 PM PDT by RnMomof7
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To: Mister Magoo
Men who stay celibate at 33 are pretty much either gay or impotent.
112 posted on 06/15/2003 12:43:19 PM PDT by Chancellor Palpatine
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To: RnMomof7
Good point. :)
113 posted on 06/15/2003 12:43:33 PM PDT by Pan_Yans Wife (Lurking since 2000.)
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To: my_pointy_head_is_sharp
Yes. What's wrong is that he is commitment phobic.

And having sex outside of marriage constitutes a "commitment"?

Assuming you're right for argument's sake only, better to be commitment-phobic and celibate than to be commitment-phobic, sleeping around, and possibly fathering unwed kids, getting STDs, etc.

114 posted on 06/15/2003 12:43:45 PM PDT by litany_of_lies
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To: TheSpottedOwl
Yeah, I know. I'm just not as religious as some folks here. If it feels good, smells good, tastes good, looks good...it's a sin.
_______
It also causes cancer ;).
115 posted on 06/15/2003 12:44:22 PM PDT by najida (What handbasket? And where did you say we were going?)
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To: FourPeas
The strangest thing is this story all turned around. Women used to be in his shoes upholding morality. Now women (in general) are so slutty that they have no morality. I'd say N.O.W. has done its job.

My nomination for quote of the day.

116 posted on 06/15/2003 12:48:51 PM PDT by litany_of_lies
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To: BlazingArizona
Assuming that your motivation is to find the right wife forever, making sure you are sexually compatible is as important as making sure you agree on children and handling money. Just last week, we celebrated our 25th anniversary. I credit the longevity of our marriage to our spending four years trying out every aspect of marriage before making the commitment - and to both of us trying out a lot of other partners first.

I credit our 42 years to not trying on every shoe to see if it fit..

Stats show the divorce rate is higher amount people that live together before marriage than those that do not

People that fall into the sack to see if they "fit" often substitute that for a relationship where they really have to talk about things and ideas and see if they will be friends AFTER they are married a couple of years

Advice to my children..marry a friend, it gives you something to talk about outside the bedroom beside "positions "

117 posted on 06/15/2003 12:49:29 PM PDT by RnMomof7
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To: Age of Reason
I dated a very intelligent woman

Mistake.

That's odd. My husband has always said that was one of the things that attracted him to me, that and my sense of right and wrong. Different strokes, I guess.

118 posted on 06/15/2003 12:51:57 PM PDT by FourPeas
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To: Chancellor Palpatine
Men who stay celibate at 33 are pretty much either gay or impotent.

Or they have self control:>)

119 posted on 06/15/2003 12:52:36 PM PDT by RnMomof7
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To: Katana16j
A look at this thread shows that some are almost deeply offended that a man wouldn't think with his dick...

BINGO. It's quite troubling to see this in a supposedly "conservative" forum.

120 posted on 06/15/2003 12:53:03 PM PDT by litany_of_lies
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