HERE'S WHAT A WITCH LOOKS LIKE
Posted on 05/17/2003 4:52:39 AM PDT by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; but if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Since it was better than death, however, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, and the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exhorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first: the old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises. He had never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden. Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. He relented, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question: What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighboring monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom. What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable. The wedding night approached. Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she'd been a witch, half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during the day and which during the night?
What a cruel question!
Gawain began to think of his predicament: during the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many memorable and personally satisfying evenings. Gawain, after much thought, finally replied, "be whatever you wish to be my dear". Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.
What is the moral of this story?
The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly, smart or dumb. Underneath it all, she's still a witch. And if you try to control her life, things will get ugly.
Proverbs 6:32 The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it.
Proverbs 6:33 Wounds and disgrace he will find, And his reproach will not be blotted out.
A little Saturday morning delight.
A few months later, the beautiful witch -- who was still a witch after all -- secretly spent all Gawain's money at the Camelot Casino, then proceeded to max out his platinum Visa. When he found out and raised hell, she divorced him. She got the castle, his horse, his armor, and his good sword, while he got the bills and her abandoned shack in the swamp. And he was ordered to pay her 3,000 ducats a month alimony because she had given up a promising career as a witch just so she could marry him.
Then she married her lawyer, who was actually a troll.
If God also created evolution in the beginning, he's going to be angry with you for not giving him credit.
Maybe you should meet the junior senator from New York. Unless you are being sarcastic, your whole post actually makes you sound a little like her. I'd be interested in knowing whether you can say that she isn't "truly bad."
The real truth is that there are good people and bad people of both sexes. The best that we can hope for is to surround ourselves with the better ones.
WFTR
Bill
Do people on FR really respond to tag lines?
You responded, you little Darwinite you!
Just because we have a beginning and an end doesn't mean that God did. People (and I count myself as one of them) believe that God never had an beginning...like us poor mortals...and, therefore, will have no end. It follows that I, like many millions, believe that man was created by God.
In a shorter time than you can imagine, you'll discover that there is a God, but it may be too late. Do your soul a favor and contemplate how the earth, the heavens and you could have simply "evolved."
HERE'S WHAT A WITCH LOOKS LIKE
That question indicates an inability to face reality.
Why do they call it PMS? Because "mad cow disease" was already taken!
LibKill is wearing his asbestos underwear. :)
I gonna get flamed but I'm convinced that if Hillary had married a guy that was half-way decent she would be quasi-likeable.
Slick is evil. He corrupts everything he touches. He destoryed just about everyone who was his friend or even compromised with him. OTOH, those who fought generally did well.
That's because you never dated or had relationships with women (I'm assuming anyway). There's tons of psychos and sociopath women out there as well.
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