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HOW DOES IT FEEEEEEEEL?
The National Post ^ | 5/24/01 | Mark Steyn

Posted on 04/18/2003 12:33:51 PM PDT by Paul Ross

HOW DOES IT FEEEEEEEEEEL?
From The National Post, May 24th 2001

I first noticed a sudden uptick in Bob Dylan articles maybe a couple of months ago, when instead of Pamela Anderson's breasts or J-Lo's bottom bursting through the National Post masthead there appeared to be a shriveled penis that had spent way too long in the bath. On closer inspection, this turned out to be Bob Dylan's head. He was, it seems, getting ready to celebrate his birthday. For today he turns 60.

Sixty? I think the last time I saw him on TV was the 80th birthday tribute to Sinatra six years ago, and, to judge from their respective states, if Frank was 80, Bob had to be at least 130. He mumbled his way through "Restless Farewell", though neither words nor tune were discernible, and then shyly offered, "Happy Birthday, Mister Frank." Frank sat through the number with a stunned look, no doubt thinking, "Geez, that's what I could look like in another 20, 25 years if I don't ease up on the late nights."

Still, Bob's made it to 60, and for that we should be grateful. After all, for the grizzled old hippies, folkies and peaceniks who spent the Sixties bellowing along with "How does it feeeeeel?" these have been worrying times. A couple of years ago, Bob's management were canceling his tours and the only people demanding to know "How does it feeeeeel?" were Dylan's doctors, treating him in New York for histoplasmosis, a fungal infection that in rare cases can lead to potentially fatal swelling in the pericardial sac. If the first question on your lips is "How is histoplasmosis spread?" well, it's caused by fungal spores which invade the lungs through airborne bat droppings. In other words, the answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.

He has, of course, looked famously unhealthy for years, even by the impressive standards of Sixties survivors. He was at the Vatican not so long ago and, although we do not know for certain what the Pope said as the leathery, wizened, stooped figure with gnarled hands and worn garb was ushered into the holy presence, it was probably something along the lines of, "Mother Teresa! But they told me you were dead!" "No, no, your Holiness," an aide would have hastily explained. "This is Bob Dylan, the voice of a disaffected generation."

It is not for me to join the vast army of Dylanologists who've been poring over his songs for 30 years. As Bob himself once said, "They are whatever they are to whoever's listening to them." End of story. But it does seem to me that, while most rock stars pursue eternal youth, Dylan has always sought premature geezerdom. The traditional elderly rocker look is best exemplified by Gram'pa Rod Stewart: peroxide hair with that toss-a-space-heater-in-the-bathtub look, tight gold lame pants with extravagant codpiece, pneumatic supermodel on your arm. By contrast, Bob, barely out of his teens, consciously adopted an aged singing voice and the experience it implied, a quintessentially Dylanesque jest on pop's Peter Pan ethos.

When he emerged in the early Sixties, he was supposedly a drifter who had spent years on the backroads of America picking up folk songs from wrinkly old-timers, and who provoked Robert Shelton of The New York Times to rhapsodize about "the rude beauty of a Southern field hand musing in melody on his porch." Actually, he'd toiled instead at the University of Minnesota -- a Jewish college boy, son of an appliance store manager. The folk songs he knew had been picked up not from any real live folk, but from the records of Ramblin' Jack Elliott. Ramblin' Jack had rambled over from Brooklyn, dropping his own Jewish name -- Elliott Adnopoz -- en route. "There was not another sonofabitch in the country that could sing until Bob Dylan came along," pronounced Ramblin' Jack, with a pithiness that belies his sobriquet. "Everybody else was singing like a damned faggot." It's one of the more modest claims made on Dylan's behalf.

His first album was composed almost entirely of traditional material. But by the second he was singing his own compositions, pioneering the musical oxymoron of the era, the "original folk song": No longer did a folk song have to be something of indeterminate origin sung by generations of inbred mountain men after a couple of jiggers of moonshine and a bunk-up with their sisters. Now a "folk song" could be "A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall" or "The Times They Are A- Changin'". I'm reminded of that episode of, appropriately enough, "The Golden Girls", when Estelle Getty comes rushing in shouting, "The hurricane's a-comin'! The hurricane's a-comin'!" "Ma!" Bea Arthur scolds her. "A-comin'?" With Dylan, the songwriting styles they were a-regressin', the slyly seductive archaisms and harmonica obbligato designed to evoke the integrity of American popular music before the Tin Pan Alley hucksters took over. "Without Bob the Beatles wouldn't have made Sergeant Pepper, the Beach Boys wouldn't have made Pet Sounds," said Bruce Springsteen. "U2 wouldn't have done Pride in the Name of Love," he continued, warming to his theme. "The Count Five would not have done Psychotic Reaction. There never would have been a group named the Electric Prunes." But why hold all that against him? If rock lyrics wound up as clogged and bloated as Dylan's pericardial sac, that's hardly his fault. Bob, for his part, has doggedly pursued his quest to turn back the clock. He's on the new Sopranos soundtrack CD, singing Dean Martin's "Return To Me", complete with chorus in Italian. Just the latest reinvention: Bob Dino, suburban crooner.

Visiting America a few years ago, Dave Stewart, of the Eurhythmics, said to Dylan that the next time he was in England he should drop by his recording studio in Crouch End, an undistinguished north London suburb. Dylan, at a loose end one afternoon, decided to take him up on it and asked a taxi-driver to take him to Crouch End Hill. Cruising the bewildering array of near-namesake streets -- Crouch End Hill, Crouch End Road, Crouch Hill End, Crouch Hill Road and various other permutations of "Crouch," "End" and "Hill" -- the cabbie accidentally dropped him off at the right number but in an adjoining street of small row houses. Dylan knocked at the front door and asked the woman who answered if Dave was in. As it happened, her husband was called Dave, so she said, "No, he's out on a call at the moment," and asked Bob if he'd like to wait. He said he would. Twenty minutes later, Dave -- the plumber, not the rock star -- returned and asked the missus whether there were any messages. "No," she said, "but Bob Dylan's in the front room having a cup of tea."

It's a sweet image, compounded by the subsequent rumour that Dylan had been seen with local realtors looking for a house in the area. Perhaps deep inside his southern field hand persona is a suburban sexagenarian pining for a quiet life in a residential cul de sac, dispensing advice over the fence to the next-door neighbour on how to keep your lawn free of grass clippings: "The answer, my friend, is mowin' in the wind."

Happy birthday, Mister Bob.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: bobdylan; dessicateddruggie; loser; marksteyn; marksteynlist
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To: Revolting cat!
I can't stop laughing whenever I think of how big a disappointment Zimmy has been to the Left over the past 35 or so years!

Yep, they cling to this (false) conception of Bob the "protest" folksinger, and nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, of his 30+ albums, only two could be properly considered lefty protest albums, and the last one was recorded in 1963 .... well before our intense military engagement in Vietnam. He hinted to the leftists which way he was now headed with Another Side of Bob Dylan (1964), and basically told them all to go to hell with the half-electric Bring it all Back Home (1965). Later that year, with the release of the full-electric Highway 61 Revisited, he was a full-fledged rock and roller singing about the standard themes of that genre, albeit with far more introspection, poetic flair, and intelligence than anyone else. To the left, of course, he was a traitor.

61 posted on 04/18/2003 7:27:19 PM PDT by Mr. Mojo
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To: rightwingreligiousfanatic
Blood on the Tracks. One of the greatest albums of all time

It sure is. Planet Waves (recorded with the Band) was also released that year ('74), and I think it's one of his most underrated efforts. New Morning (1970) is also an underrated gem.

62 posted on 04/18/2003 7:31:31 PM PDT by Mr. Mojo
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To: Mudboy Slim
I bought it [Love and Theft] recently and have listened to it casually a coupla times, but it hasn't grabbed me yet...which songs do you recommend I give a serious listen to?!

IMO, it's a very inconsistent album, but the songs Mississippi, High Water, and Sugar Baby are the standouts.

63 posted on 04/18/2003 7:35:48 PM PDT by Mr. Mojo
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To: beckett
The Left knew it was in trouble with Dylan as far back as 1973, when he wrote these lyrics for The Wedding Song

Great song, but the left knew it was in trouble with Bob long before '73. It started with Another Side of Bob Dylan ('64), specifically with the song "It Ain't Me Babe." By '66, his lefty fans were screaming "Judas" at his shows.

64 posted on 04/18/2003 7:40:31 PM PDT by Mr. Mojo
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To: Paul Ross
Good article!
65 posted on 04/18/2003 8:54:49 PM PDT by Frank_2001
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To: Paul Ross
Steyn ping!
66 posted on 04/18/2003 11:26:34 PM PDT by lainde
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To: scholar; Bullish; linear
Ping
67 posted on 04/19/2003 4:49:10 AM PDT by knighthawk
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To: Mudboy Slim
Dylan did not support Bubba in 92. Dylan has always been a-political. He did perform at the 92 Presidential Inaugaration because he was asked to. He did not perform at any campaign rallies. At all inaugarals Americans perrform and it is not indicative of personal support for an administration.

Dylan's support of Israel, his detesting of abuses by the powerful, his fierce anti-globalism would put him at odds with Bubba.

In 97 Dylan was awarded the Kennedy Honors during Clinton's presidency. This was the only other Dylan-Clinton connection. However if one thinks this demonstrates a closeness between the recipient and the host then logic would make the case that Charleton Heston is also a big Clinton supporter. Since along with Dylan he was a recipient that year.

I have a copy of the Sinatra birthday bash in which Dylan sings "Restless Farewell". This song was performed at Sinatra's personal request and the music (orchestra) and vocal performance are wonderful.
68 posted on 04/19/2003 8:04:19 AM PDT by Tweeker
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To: beckett
Finally a man with discernment.
69 posted on 04/19/2003 8:06:36 AM PDT by Tweeker
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To: Mr. Mojo
During the 1966 European tour when as Mojo recalls the lefties were booing Dylan, calling him Judas etc. there is this great story. The heckling was really bad in France and Dylan and the Band had one more perfomance coming up in Paris. Dylan said out loud to Robbie Robertson and others, "What can I do to piss off the French?"

Well when the Band arrived at the Paris venue Dylan had his stage manager drape a twenty foot American flag as a backdrop. This show is captured on teh documentary Eat the Document. One of Dylan's gifts is that he is very good at discerning man's nature and this shows he understood the French anti-Americanism 37 years ago.
70 posted on 04/19/2003 8:16:44 AM PDT by Tweeker
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To: Tweeker
Fantasic story, Tweeker. I'm surprised I've never heard that one. I guess I'll have to rent that documentary, if it's available.
71 posted on 04/19/2003 9:55:56 AM PDT by Mr. Mojo
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To: Paul Ross
bump
72 posted on 04/21/2003 7:12:42 PM PDT by GOPJ
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To: Paul Ross
...I've got to read this all later, thanks!
73 posted on 04/21/2003 7:16:06 PM PDT by SandyEgo
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To: Mr. Mojo
Unfortunately, it's only available from bootlegged copies.
74 posted on 04/21/2003 7:25:06 PM PDT by Rocko
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To: Nebr FAL owner

I didn't need to see that ! talk about getting hit with the UGLY stick ol 'Bobby got whumped with the damn tree.


I actually think he got a good part of his face torn up in an accident many years ago. Don't know whether he hit a tree though.


75 posted on 12/08/2006 7:34:08 PM PST by Chickensoup (If you don't go to the holy war, the holy war will come to you.)
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To: SamAdams76

It is not the face of a man who has had a happy life. Few laugh wrinkles, little joy there.


76 posted on 12/08/2006 7:36:40 PM PST by Chickensoup (If you don't go to the holy war, the holy war will come to you.)
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To: Interesting Times
It is not for me to join the vast army of Dylanologists who've been poring over his songs for 30 years. As Bob himself once said, "They are whatever they are to whoever's listening to them." End of story. But it does seem to me that, while most rock stars pursue eternal youth, Dylan has always sought premature geezerdom.

Mark Steyn ping!

A blast from the past!

TS

77 posted on 03/13/2009 3:42:35 PM PDT by The Shrew (www.wintersoldier.com; www.tstrs.com; The Truth Shall Set You Free!)
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To: Paul Ross

Best lead paragraph ever.


78 posted on 03/13/2009 3:43:41 PM PDT by GSWarrior (Posting bandwidth consuming jpgs since 2000.)
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