[Slings and Arrows]

If you think this guy has it hard, try finding conservative Jewish girls who are not orthodox.

Try finding them in South Carolina!

I love living here, but the only Jewish women around are snowbird retirees. Not exactly a target-rich environment. ;-)

[Clemenza]

Whatever you do DON'T go to South Florida. The Jewish girls down in places like Boca Raton (the ones who aren't on life support) are not merely liberal, but dumb as a box of rocks as well. Too much sun and bad food is bad for the brain, which is why I couldn't wait to get out during my two stints down there.