Reply to Jimmy Carter - "Just Cowardly

A BOMB SHELTER SOMEWHERE IN A MOUNTAIN, IN A FOETAL POSITION - Profound stupidity had taken place in American foreign policy, under my administration and that of Former President Clinton, reversing the peace and security of our nation that for more than two centuries had earned our nation greatness. These commitments had been predicated on basic cowardice, inaction, malaise and knuckling under to foreign powers that resulted in the tragedy of 9/11 along with other catastrophic acts of terrorism that the US did nothing to deflect. Our apparent determination to launch a war against Iraq, with the support of allied nations, shows that the current administration has more testosterone than I ever could hope to possess.

As a wussie and a president who was severely sidelined by international crises, I became thoroughly familiar with the layout of the Rose Garden, and it is clear that a substantial multinational attack on Iraq is something I never would have had the guts to accomplish. This is almost a universal conviction of anyone with a backbone and a set of functioning testicles, with the notable exception of Bill Clinton, who has two out of three of the aforementioned items.

For a war to be won, it must have clearly defined leadership. Which I could never have provided.

This war is being waged as a last resort, since all non-violent options have been exhausted. In the case of Iraq, it is obvious that there is no alternative to war, except of course appeasement, which as we all know works so very well. These options, which have failed because of the severe testosterone deficiency of the United Nations, were outlined and ignored again on Friday by the cheese-eating surrender monkeys (of whom I share many laudable qualities - yellow belly, quivering lip, caving in, etc.). Despite the overwhelming opposition of the DNC, the mainstream media and my friends in communist organisations, the United States seems determined to bring peace and stability to the oppressed people of Iraq. The first stage of our widely publicised war (thanks to the New York Times leaking battle plans) is to launch 3,000 bombs and missiles on Iraqi military and strategic facilities within the first few hours of an invasion, with the purpose of so damaging and demoralising the military and destroying their capability to wage a war that they will surrender, while their obnoxious leader is blown to the lowest depths of hell by our actions.

The war's weapons will be targeted so as to spare non-combatants. Extensive aerial bombardment, even with precise accuracy, will be executed so as to minimise "collateral damage". Gen. Tommy R. Franks, commander of the American forces in the Persian Gulf, is a far braver and more honourable man than I could ever hope to be.

Its violence must be proportional to the potential injury Saddam Hussein can inflict. Along with Saddam Hussein's other serious crimes, American efforts to publish Iraqi ties to the 9/11 terrorist attacks have been ignored by the mainstream media.

The United States has the legitimate authority sanctioned by the society they profess to represent. The unanimous vote of approval in the Security Council to eliminate Iraq's weapons of mass destruction must now be honoured, and our announced goals are now to achieve the end of Saddam's reign of terror and establish peace and prosperity for the Iraqi people, with US occupation being much shorter than most pundits have claimed. For these objectives, we have overwhelming national and international authorisation. Other members of the Security Council who have attempted to preserve their enormous economic and political ties to the Butcher of Baghdad, and they are faced with the failure of their own actions which will make the UN shown to all the world as irrelevant. Although Turkey has decided not to help in the defence of the world despite large financial incentives, the US still has the ability and the will to eliminate this worldwide expression of evil, which is the current regime in Iraq.

The peace we establish will be a clear improvement over what exists. There are visions of peace and democracy in Iraq, and it is quite clear that our responsibility is to end the terrible suffering of those people yearning to be free. Also, by defying overwhelming French and German opposition, the United States will show the United Nations to be nothing more than a debating society for world despots.

What about America's world standing if we don't go to war after such a great deployment of military forces in the region? The terrorists will know that the US does not stand up to its commitments to freedom and security, and will attack American again and again unilaterally, and currently antagonistic regimes will provide even greater support to terrorism; increasingly multilateral and defensive policies have brought terrorism to a slow crawl, from it's height during the Clinton and Carter administrations. America's stature will surely increase further if we launch a war against a tyrant, which the United Nations is too spineless to execute. To use the presence and force of our military power to finally defeat Iraq's evil regime and finally execute the compliance with all United Nations resolutions - with war as the unavoidable option - will enhance our status as a champion of peace and justice, and strike fear into the enemies of freedom.

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Jimmy Carter, the 39th president of the United States, is a quivering coward who supports communism and craps his pants every time a car backfires nearby.

BTTT for a great translation! I love it.

Here's mine:

www.bigtimeclymers.dorks

Saddam's attack on women and children is not yet justified

By Jimma "The Pious" Cartier, BTC Monday, March 10, 2003

Iraq I
ATLANTIS, Goober PeaNUT CASE Farm

Profound changes have been taking place in American foreign policy, reversing the Marxist admiration that LBJ, Clintoon and I worked so hard to earn for this nation.

Within the space of a little more than 2 years in office America's reputation of being a paper tiger has been reversed by that insensitive cowboy in the White House.

Because of this, you can be absolutely sure that he has not spent even one minute of his life getting in touch with his feminine side. For shame!!!!

For Saddam's war to be just, it must meet several clearly defined criteria.

The war can be waged only as a last resort, giving men, women and children every opportunity to submit to his tyranny first.

But now, he has no choice, even though I admit that his choice is resulting in military and diplomatic action that is almost unprecedented in the history of civilized nations.

The first stage of his war plan is to unleash the bombs and chemical weapons of mass destruction, he understandably had to deny he has, against those who would DARE to try and defend themselves or liberate his people.

The second stage of his plan is to rightly use these same weapons on any of his people who would try to surrender to his enemies, the ungodly USA and her ungodly allies.

One of the rules in the religious left's "just war" theory, to which I adhere, is to, in effect, hide behind the skirts of women when your enemy dares to attempt to impose freedom and justice on your people.

Following this theory, Saddam has wisely hidden his military assets near, or under hospitals, schools, mosques and private homes so as to more easily be able to blame the USA for any collateral damage that occurs when they destroy them.

The evidence that ties Iraq to the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks have not convinced any dorks. Thank goodness that there are still enough people with simple minds out there who flat-out reject reality and rightly view it as eeeeeeevil propaganda. (Without them, us Marxist RATS would never get elected).

Attackers must have legitimate authority sanctioned by the society they profess to represent.

We know that Saddam has this. Even though he was the only one running, he was duly elected using the same sort of process my beloved party uses in the US when we can get away with it.

My biggest worry is that the cowboy in the White House will undermine the United Nations as a viable institution for world peace.

Some of you are laughing. Don't. You have no idea how that makes me feeeeeeel when you laugh.

American stature will surely decline further from its paper tiger reputation if the United States launchs a war in clear defiance of the United Nations.

This is my motto: "Without the UN America is UNamerican".

The writer, the 69th president of the US, is chairman of the Cartier NUT-CASE Center in Atlantis and winner of the OU812 NO BALLS PEACE PRIZE

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