Posted on 03/09/2003 9:14:52 AM PST by DocFarmer
Here's mine:
Copyright © OU812 The International Clymer Tribune |
Saddam's attack on women and children is not yet justified
By Jimma "The Pious" Cartier, BTC Monday, March 10, 2003
Iraq I
ATLANTIS, Goober PeaNUT CASE Farm
Profound changes have been taking place in American foreign policy, reversing the Marxist admiration that LBJ, Clintoon and I worked so hard to earn for this nation.
Within the space of a little more than 2 years in office America's reputation of being a paper tiger has been reversed by that insensitive cowboy in the White House.
Because of this, you can be absolutely sure that he has not spent even one minute of his life getting in touch with his feminine side. For shame!!!!
For Saddam's war to be just, it must meet several clearly defined criteria.
The war can be waged only as a last resort, giving men, women and children every opportunity to submit to his tyranny first.
But now, he has no choice, even though I admit that his choice is resulting in military and diplomatic action that is almost unprecedented in the history of civilized nations.
The first stage of his war plan is to unleash the bombs and chemical weapons of mass destruction, he understandably had to deny he has, against those who would DARE to try and defend themselves or liberate his people.
The second stage of his plan is to rightly use these same weapons on any of his people who would try to surrender to his enemies, the ungodly USA and her ungodly allies.
One of the rules in the religious left's "just war" theory, to which I adhere, is to, in effect, hide behind the skirts of women when your enemy dares to attempt to impose freedom and justice on your people.
Following this theory, Saddam has wisely hidden his military assets near, or under hospitals, schools, mosques and private homes so as to more easily be able to blame the USA for any collateral damage that occurs when they destroy them.
The evidence that ties Iraq to the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks have not convinced any dorks. Thank goodness that there are still enough people with simple minds out there who flat-out reject reality and rightly view it as eeeeeeevil propaganda. (Without them, us Marxist RATS would never get elected).
Attackers must have legitimate authority sanctioned by the society they profess to represent.
We know that Saddam has this. Even though he was the only one running, he was duly elected using the same sort of process my beloved party uses in the US when we can get away with it.
My biggest worry is that the cowboy in the White House will undermine the United Nations as a viable institution for world peace.
Some of you are laughing. Don't. You have no idea how that makes me feeeeeeel when you laugh.
American stature will surely decline further from its paper tiger reputation if the United States launchs a war in clear defiance of the United Nations.
This is my motto: "Without the UN America is UNamerican".
The writer, the 69th president of the US, is chairman of the Cartier NUT-CASE Center in Atlantis and winner of the OU812 NO BALLS PEACE PRIZE
Bwa! Ha! Ha!
No need to worry about that. My worry is that it isn't happening quick enough!
Great translation, Janice!!
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