They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered their pet parakeet's cage, and threw the cat into the back yard.
They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had thrown into the yard scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in the house because "he" always tries to eat the bird.
The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty, so she explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says.
"Stupid b!t%# was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat a$$ downstairs and threw her into the back yard !!"
Oh my gawd! I love this one. This is email material. Thanks Brian.