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Joke is on you, Jacqass
The Sun (U.K.) ^ | 02/12/03

Posted on 02/11/2003 8:04:40 PM PST by Pokey78

JACQUES Chirac thinks Saddam is harmless.

If that loony view wasn’t dangerous, it would be funny.

For a real laugh, here are our Top 10 French gags.

1. How many gears in a French tank? Six, five reverse and one forward in case they are attacked from behind.

2. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The Army.

3. How do you stop a French tank? Shoot the guy pushing.

4. How did the French advertise surplus World War II rifles? “Never fired, only dropped once.”

5. Why might the French send troops to the Gulf? To teach the Iraqis how to surrender.

6. A Frenchwoman is in a bar with a parrot. The barman says: “That’s an ugly bird. Where did you get it?” The parrot says: “France, there’s millions of ’em!”

7. Why do Frenchmen have moustaches? To look like their mothers.

8. A Frenchman was banned from practising medicine for having sex with his patients. It was a shame — he was the best vet in town.

9. What is a Frenchman with a sheep and a goat under each arm? Bisexual.

10. Why does the new French Navy use glass-bottomed boats? To miss the old French Navy.

Let’s have your laughs at the French. Send them to French Jokes, The Sun, 1 Virginia Street, London E1 9BD, fax 020 7782 4063, or email letters@the-sun.co.uk.


TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; United Kingdom
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 02/11/2003 8:04:40 PM PST by Pokey78
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To: Pokey78
The Sun is the number 1 most read paper in the UK (at least it used to be).
2 posted on 02/11/2003 8:07:26 PM PST by Mark Felton
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To: Pokey78
How many Frenchmen does it take to defend France?

No one knows!


3 posted on 02/11/2003 8:09:01 PM PST by Thane_Banquo
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Comment #4 Removed by Moderator

To: Conservative Druze
The Brits have always hated the French and the Germans. The French hate the Brits and the Germans (so what is this really about?). And the Germans hate the Brits and the French (so what is this really about?)
What it's all about is probably profitable deals with Saddam. Money trumps national identity.
5 posted on 02/11/2003 8:19:10 PM PST by speekinout
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To: Pokey78
Q: Where do you find 60 million french jokes?
A: In France.


Why did they add red and blue?

6 posted on 02/11/2003 8:19:48 PM PST by lainie
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To: lainie
Sad (blue) commies (red).
7 posted on 02/11/2003 8:28:37 PM PST by spitz
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To: Pokey78
Probably one of the best ways to bring the British people on board for a war with Iraq is to have both France and Germany against it. The British people will be outraged at the lack of honor displayed by the insignificant three in voting against the defense of a fellow NATO member.
8 posted on 02/11/2003 8:45:47 PM PST by McGavin999
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To: Pokey78
Letterman the other night had a line to the effect that:

"The last time France waited until it was convinced of the "evidence" - the evidence came speeding into Paris with a swastika painted on the side."

9 posted on 02/11/2003 8:46:39 PM PST by Charlotte Corday
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To: Pokey78

10 posted on 02/11/2003 9:01:29 PM PST by Balata
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To: Pokey78
10. Pourquoi la nouvelle marine française utilise-t-elle les bateaux verre-basés? Pour inspecter la vieille marine française, oui? Excusez-moi capitaine, notre bateau a couru à flot
11 posted on 02/11/2003 9:15:36 PM PST by oyez (Is this a great country...........Or what?)
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To: Pokey78
ha ha ha, good ones!
12 posted on 02/11/2003 9:16:49 PM PST by timestax
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13 posted on 02/11/2003 9:21:51 PM PST by lainie
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To: Pokey78
If any watches Futurama, the "A Clone of My Own" episode was on tonight. In it Professor Farnsworth is showing his young clone "Cubert" some of his inventions, which offers the following dialog:

Prof.: That's my price-winning Smelloscope. If a dog craps anywhere in the universe, you can bet I won't be out of the loop. And this is my Universal Translator. Unfortunately, it only translates into an incomprehensible dead language.

Cubert (into microphone): Hello.

Universal Translator: Bonjour.

Prof.: Crazy gibberish!

14 posted on 02/11/2003 9:27:34 PM PST by GallopingGhost
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To: oyez
10.Why the new French navy use does the boats glass-based? To inspect the old French navy, yes? Excuse to me captain, our boat ran to flood.


15 posted on 02/12/2003 12:33:20 AM PST by lorrainer (LOL. Oui.)
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To: Pokey78
What the hell kind of a country expects to be taken seriously when their leader is a cartoon character, ie. Blacque Jacques Shellac?
16 posted on 02/12/2003 5:24:43 AM PST by Treebeard (Zees seely rabbit....she may be back)
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To: okchemyst
LOL! That's my favorite Bugs Bunny flick!!
17 posted on 02/12/2003 5:29:38 AM PST by ovrtaxt (I wonder what the French think of our stance on adultery?)
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To: Pokey78
France has the "Surrender Monkey"
The United States has the "Rally Monkey".

Big Difference.

18 posted on 02/12/2003 9:46:39 AM PST by PetroniDE (WAR ON !!!)
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To: timestax
bttt
19 posted on 02/12/2003 11:17:35 AM PST by timestax
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