Spiting their pretty faces

World Net Daily ^ | February 3, 2003 | Vox Day

[softengine]

A recent story floating around the variety section of a newspaper I still read occasionally reminded me of a conversation I had with a college girlfriend about six months ago. She's a pretty woman – slender, petite, well-educated and intelligent. She has an excellent, high-paying job and even owns her own house.

She is, in short, the epitome of feminist success. And yet, she is profoundly disappointed with her life. She has, in her own words, continued to stumble upwards while somehow missing out on the only thing she truly wanted – a husband and a family.

Nor is she alone, in anecdotal or statistical terms. Not only do the majority of women who were in our college social circle remain unmarried, but according Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, author of "Why There Are No Good Men Left: The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman," a 30-something woman is three times more likely to be unmarried than her 1970's counterpart. While some might argue that this is a good thing, most demographics experts would disagree, as would, it appears, an awful lot of those 30-something single women.

While Whitehead correctly identifies the general problem, she is as clueless as the next feminist as to how to go about solving it. Instead of recommending that individuals change the one thing within their power – namely, their behavior – she advocates altering the entire system of courtship. Given this typically fascistic feminist approach, I am, of course, shocked that her six 30-something daughters and nieces all remain available.

But, as I told my friend, the root of the problem is that the kind of man she wants is precisely the man who is smart enough to stay away from her. Smart, educated women aren't willing to date down on the social scale, so the higher they rise, the more they cut down on their available pool of men. Furthermore, the smarter a man is, the more he is likely to realize that being romantically involved with an intelligent, educated, upper-middle-class American woman steeped in 20 years of feminist indoctrination is about as desirable as being flayed alive and rolled in salt.

Consider the premarital professions of the women in my social circle, all of whom are now stay-at-home moms happily married to intelligent, successful men: Farmgirl. Nanny. Teacher. Office manager. Nanny. Pipeline worker. Professional student. Church volunteer. That's eight quality men who won't be marrying a high-powered career girl right there.

The advice I gave my friend was succinct: In any given dating situation, think about what your instincts are telling you – then do the opposite. It's like football … if the run is getting stuffed, then throw the darn ball.

So, in the unlikely event there happens to be a 30-something single woman reading this, here are a few pointers which might be helpful while you wait for Ms. Dafoe Whitehead and company to change the dating culture:

1. Your rights are delineated in the Constitution. Everything else is a privilege.

2. Your family has to put up with you. For everyone else, it's optional.

3. Southern belles always get what they want. Watch and learn, grasshopper.

4. Sex as an incentive is fair enough. Using its deprivation as a punishment will backfire hideously.

5. Mocking your man in public creates a no-win situation. He can either slice and dice you verbally, which is no fun for you, or keep his mouth shut and look like an idiot. In the case of the latter, it doesn't mean that you've won, or that he's forgotten.

6. Men love happy women. Act happy and you may discover how to be happy.

7. If there's a doubt, choose the most optimistic interpretation. That's what he meant.

8. Honey, honey, honey – a thousand times honey. Never vinegar.

9. Conflict is not passion. It isn't any fun, either.

10. Limit yourself to five complaints and demands a day. If you're not counting, you're over the limit.

11. If no one ever taught you the traditional arts, find an older woman to be your mentor.

12. Your feelings and objectively verifiable facts may be different. Learn to distinguish between them.

Now, I'm not saying that applying these principles to your dating scene will turn frogs into princes or anything, but they will get you in the game. And if all else fails, just tell your next first date that you're thinking of quitting your job and returning to your former career as an aerobics instructor. He'll be intrigued, trust me.

[rintense]

I completely understand where you are coming from. The older and wiser intellectual types I've met want an ornament on their arm, not someone to actually have a conversation with.

On the other hand, it's hard to find a guy who likes a chick who can talk about politics, world affairs, history, life, and of course, sports- especially football! I love football. My best friend's husband and his brother were shocked into silence by this- they said I know more than they do about the sport!

Now we know why Condi Rice is still single. *SIGH*

[apackof2]

WARNING.... When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens . . .
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

[Spiritus Gladius]

The problem is, are there single guys who are willing to watch a flame turn into a fire?

There used to be. Being many years removed from the dating scene myself, I can't speak with certainty about the current crop. I get the impression the brats have been spoiled by overindulgent '60's parents and a lifetime of instant gratification, but I think you can slap that out of them if you work at it.

Nice dog. Do you also have a boat?

[P.O.E.]

Can't help but think of that old Grateful Dead standard, "U.S. Blues":

"Back-to-back
Chicken shack
Son-of-a-gun
Better change your act...."

In other words - adapt!

[rintense]

A boat? Nope. But I hope to have a Sea Doo this summer. You can't live near Lake Michigan and not have one, you know.

:)

[arthurus]

Love and being in love have proven to be the lease stable way to start a marriage.

[Diddle E. Squat]

But seriously, I've found that wonderful women have an amazing talent(or perhaps a developed skill) to present complaints and demands in a way that a guy ALMOST doesn't recognize it as such. Charm and the right attitude are God's gift to men via women.

[Happygal]

Too bad.

But then I never went for the Fr.'s

It was a bit much in Catholic Ireland, if ye know what I mean.

[rintense]

I agree. But which one do you base a marriage on? I love many people, but I have only been 'in love' twice.

[Spiritus Gladius]

Oh, geez, and then you have to ruin that great impression by being a Lions fan!

[Loyalist]

Usually I'm reticent to get involved in these lonely hearts discussions, but.... I did find a woman when I was in undergrad who was both deeply intelligent and thoroughly feminine.

Unfortunately, she was also a committed Shambhala Buddhist from the Bay Area, and there just wasn't reconciling deeply-held but diametrically opposed religious beliefs.

Still looking and wondering where one can find that sort of combination in a Catholic woman.

[Lorianne]

It most definitely is whining. Oh poor me I've got an education and a good job and xyz personal possessions but I can't find a man.

So? If you think it will help you to find a man, divest! Call the university and have them expunge your degree from the records, give your house and possessions to charity, quit your job. Then put place a personals ad in the paper saying you're a high school graduate with no particular job skills looking for LTR with your goal being "traditional" marriage and children.

I mean c'mon, if all these things are the problem and they're scaring all the good men away from you, then it seems rather simple to fix the situation. Divest!

NOTE: I'm using YOU in the rhetorical sense. I'm talking about all these anecdotal whiny women people like Whitehead supposedly dig up. I'm not talking about you personally and have no interest in criticizing your personal affairs.

These women need to grow up and stop whining. Anyone who wants can find a good man to marry. It's not that hard. There are plenty of men who are too picky and end up alone as well. That's what is happening to these women to. Only they don't want to face that, they'd rather blame their education and career for scaring men off, when in fact it is their whiny personalities.

Also I can't stand Friends. Talk about a group of whiny women. And by the way, none of the women portrayed on Friends has a "career". They have menial jobs at best. And it hasn't helped them find mates past 30 either. Yet they do nothing but sit around and whine about their plight as they flit from one no-account man to the next. No doubt these fake TV women are the role models for Whitehead's whiners.

[shaggy eel]

But I hope to have a Sea Doo this summer.

,,, ah, a SUV of the water. Spare a thought for eels as the prop spins!

[softengine]

Of course, there are always the new age, sensitive members of the pansy brigade out there, if you're into that kind of thing.

THAT is exactly the problem. The pansy brigade is everywhere. Construction workers seem to be the only ones who've avoided the emasculation guillotine. and big boy biceps but no brain ain't gonna satisfy Jane (anymore).

[MHGinTN]

Tending the little flame until it grows to warming one is the key to relationships. We fast-tracked Americans seem to have trouble being patient and attentive to others, and what else could we become given the assault of popular culture fed through the media which tended us as children? Look at the homelife of the individual under consideration as a mate and you will find 'the stones later assembled to form the house of the soul.' There is deep wisdom in the admonition to 'bring up a child in the way that he/she should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it.' Improve the odds of a compatible mate by looking at their young homelife.

[rintense]

Are you kidding! I am SO EXCITED about Mooch being the new coach. I haven't been this excited about Lions football since 1981.

[Happygal]

First question...is this a parody?

Second question...do you think witholding sex is going to make your life problem free forever more?

[Mr. Jeeves]

Agree about LA - a town best avoided - but consider the San Francisco Bay Area (not the city itself). As I mentioned on another thread, since it is a financial center, it is surprisingly full of conservative single men who have moved (or been moved) to the area for their jobs. San Diego is a great area, too, and still quite conservative, as are Palm Springs, Orange County, and the Sierra foothills. And you won't freeze to death six months out of the year...

My mom kept her Juicy Fruit stash updated, at least - no stale pieces!

;-)

[Spiritus Gladius]

I think you two need to make contact.

[Happygal]

Come live in Ireland, where you will be inundated with SASS.
SASSY women, who are not like Italian women who want to mother you.

Sassy women who will out-field you in the market place, feed you tv-dinners, and still love ye to bits as they feed you Guinness on a Friday night down the pub!

I mean, HOW can you resist? ;-)