Posted on 02/03/2003 6:13:20 PM PST by softengine
A recent story floating around the variety section of a newspaper I still read occasionally reminded me of a conversation I had with a college girlfriend about six months ago. She's a pretty woman slender, petite, well-educated and intelligent. She has an excellent, high-paying job and even owns her own house.
She is, in short, the epitome of feminist success. And yet, she is profoundly disappointed with her life. She has, in her own words, continued to stumble upwards while somehow missing out on the only thing she truly wanted a husband and a family.
Nor is she alone, in anecdotal or statistical terms. Not only do the majority of women who were in our college social circle remain unmarried, but according Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, author of "Why There Are No Good Men Left: The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman," a 30-something woman is three times more likely to be unmarried than her 1970's counterpart. While some might argue that this is a good thing, most demographics experts would disagree, as would, it appears, an awful lot of those 30-something single women.
While Whitehead correctly identifies the general problem, she is as clueless as the next feminist as to how to go about solving it. Instead of recommending that individuals change the one thing within their power namely, their behavior she advocates altering the entire system of courtship. Given this typically fascistic feminist approach, I am, of course, shocked that her six 30-something daughters and nieces all remain available.
But, as I told my friend, the root of the problem is that the kind of man she wants is precisely the man who is smart enough to stay away from her. Smart, educated women aren't willing to date down on the social scale, so the higher they rise, the more they cut down on their available pool of men. Furthermore, the smarter a man is, the more he is likely to realize that being romantically involved with an intelligent, educated, upper-middle-class American woman steeped in 20 years of feminist indoctrination is about as desirable as being flayed alive and rolled in salt.
Consider the premarital professions of the women in my social circle, all of whom are now stay-at-home moms happily married to intelligent, successful men: Farmgirl. Nanny. Teacher. Office manager. Nanny. Pipeline worker. Professional student. Church volunteer. That's eight quality men who won't be marrying a high-powered career girl right there.
The advice I gave my friend was succinct: In any given dating situation, think about what your instincts are telling you then do the opposite. It's like football if the run is getting stuffed, then throw the darn ball.
So, in the unlikely event there happens to be a 30-something single woman reading this, here are a few pointers which might be helpful while you wait for Ms. Dafoe Whitehead and company to change the dating culture:
1. Your rights are delineated in the Constitution. Everything else is a privilege.
2. Your family has to put up with you. For everyone else, it's optional.
3. Southern belles always get what they want. Watch and learn, grasshopper.
4. Sex as an incentive is fair enough. Using its deprivation as a punishment will backfire hideously.
5. Mocking your man in public creates a no-win situation. He can either slice and dice you verbally, which is no fun for you, or keep his mouth shut and look like an idiot. In the case of the latter, it doesn't mean that you've won, or that he's forgotten.
6. Men love happy women. Act happy and you may discover how to be happy.
7. If there's a doubt, choose the most optimistic interpretation. That's what he meant.
8. Honey, honey, honey a thousand times honey. Never vinegar.
9. Conflict is not passion. It isn't any fun, either.
10. Limit yourself to five complaints and demands a day. If you're not counting, you're over the limit.
11. If no one ever taught you the traditional arts, find an older woman to be your mentor.
12. Your feelings and objectively verifiable facts may be different. Learn to distinguish between them.
Now, I'm not saying that applying these principles to your dating scene will turn frogs into princes or anything, but they will get you in the game. And if all else fails, just tell your next first date that you're thinking of quitting your job and returning to your former career as an aerobics instructor. He'll be intrigued, trust me.
I invite you all to sign up for the "Freeps Ahoy" cruise to the Caribbean on May 31. Can't beat our low group-rate fare for a week under tropical skies. Freeper families and many intelligent and witty (and gorgeous and handsome, too!) freeper singles are already signed on.
Yer ole Bahama Mama will NOT chaperone if y'all behave yourselves!
Leni
(Bahama Mama)
Freepmail me at "MinuteGal" if you have any cruise questions.
Now your gettin' personal
I am Italian and SASSY
First, let me say that I'm married to an educated, successful woman (a liberal jewish gal, no less). What the problem is is this: Education in america today amounts to liberal propaganda. As far as women are concerned, this means feminism. And not just feminism in its political sense, but rather a whole bundle of culture assumptions that go along with it.
The single most traumatic thing in my marriage (12 yrs) has been the past year since we've had our second child. My wife has been staying home with our children. The tough part for her has not been leaving her career for a time...but rather has been dealing with the negative ego ramifications of being "a housewife".
Politics aside, feminism has brainwashed educated women regarding the whole bundle of functions associated with being a "housewife". Cleaning, cooking, etc. are viewed by all modern educated american women (again, politics aside) as being beneath them and shameful. This creates an enormous amount of strife in the marriage.
I love my wife and we will work things out. But I must confess, it'd be a whole lot easier dealing with a gal who doesn't revert to "women's studies 101" lectures when asked about the laundry.
If you're a young, successful guy...why deal with the hassle? Find a gal who will be a wife and mother without the baggage.
Are you serious?
OK!! OK!! I've had sex before marriage, but I've ALWAYS been careful. The pill and a condom. So NO I've never had an STD; not an unwanted pregnancy; OR a possibility of an abortion (I'm assuming that you would consider this, I wouldn't. If I had an unwanted pregnancy, I wouldn't have an abortion myself); (You mention drama with adoptions..but I've addressed my opinion on that);
YE KNOW what scares me MOST about yer post toots?
You are afraid of getting PREGNANT!!
MY BIGGEST fear of having sex with a partner for the first time (I don't have sexual relations with many men, if that's what people are thinking)..is that I may contract a disease from them. Getting pregnant. Having a baby. It's a gift from God. Getting a disease. Is not!
In the proper context, not as a knocked up single woman whose child will have no daddy in the house or maybe no daddy at all.
Choices have consquences
At the end, I became one of those fans. Mariucci has a brilliant football mind - but his unwillingness to keep the heat on an opponent once the Niners had built up a lead was troublesome. Matt Millen never would played the game that way in his day, so maybe he can help fire Mariucci up.
I've had people ask me the secret of our longevity and I always tell them that when we married, we made an agreement. I would make all the major descisions and she would make all the minor descisions. There have just not been any major descisions that needed to be made yet. LOL
A Packers fan?
I loathe Brett Favre.
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