West Coast VCR Alert: Dennis Miller kills on Leno tonight

Tonight Show ^ | 1/29/03 | Dennis Miller

[Warhead W-88]

Head's up, put on Leno tonight or load up the VCR.

Dennis Miller kills, enthusiastically backs Bush on Iraq and bashes the Al Gore, the Dems, the French, and Sean Penn.

On the French: "The French wouldn't go to Iraq unless we convinced them there were truffles there.

On Penn: "Yeah, he's the kind of guy who if you say he isn't peaceful, he'll come to beat you up."

On Iraq: "Heat plus sand equals glass. I think we should go in there and bomb Baghdad until it looks like Superman's Dad's aparment on Krypton."

Must see.

[DoughtyOne]

Too much B.S. happy talk from libs in this nation...

Vouchers, come on we know the school system is screwed up... let em have them.

ACLU spent whole season trying to rid us of nativity scenes...
...they'll spend the rest of the year protecting the rights of the drunk that stumbles across one to have sex with the sheep.

[Cool Guy]

How do we send a THANK YOU NOTE to Dennis Miller? BTW, he would make one good FReeper ;-)

[DoughtyOne]

I can do the audio. Would you be satisfied with a script?

[Robert_Paulson2]

It was good.
very good.

[Cool Guy]

Is it possible at all to get another copy of that VIDEO? Thanks.

[Warhead W-88]

Glad you guys liked it. I didn't want to be one of the only people I knew to have seen it.

My girlfriend was half-listening. She said, "I had no idea he was so far on the right." (Not that she meant that as an insult-- it's just a simple observation that Miller is now pretty far to the right.)

[Warhead W-88]

"I can do the audio. Would you be satisfied with a script?"

I'd love to see a transcript, myself. I'm sure the Media Research Center people will do one tomorrow, though. They had video, too, of Dennis' last couple Leno appearances, but the video only covered about half of his shot.

[Cool Guy]

Thanks a ton for sharing it. Happy to hear that on TV :)

[DoughtyOne]

We should tell folks that Miller's first statement after being asked about the SoTU speach was, "I'm not that big a fan of Bush. I know you think I am..."

[Warhead W-88]

"We should tell folks that Miller's first statement after being asked about the SoTU speach was, "I'm not that big a fan of Bush. I know you think I am..." "

You heard wrong.

He said, "Well I'm a Bush fan..."

Not, "I'm NOT a Bush fan."

[bootless]

Me, too! Watching the second guest - missed the good stuff.

[Warhead W-88]

I mean, a transcript will show this tomorrow, but Miller is already on record as being a big Bush fan. His last Leno appearance already established that. He said something to the effect of Bush being "a good man" who's brought "dignity and gravity back to the White House," and who cleaned out the "wocka-wocka porn guitar funk of the Clinton gang."

[Jeff Chandler]

Miller is now pretty far to the right

Maybe he's been listening to Rush. Maybe he's been lurking around here. Or just maybe 9-11 was a wake up call for him.

[Warhead W-88]

Previous Miller appearance (from http://www.mediaresearch.org/cyberalerts/2002/cyb20021108.asp#7):

Jay Leno: “I’m fascinated to hear your take on the election. Because you always have a little different look at things than most Hollywood people.”

Dennis Miller: “I want to congratulate my President. I think he had a great day. I think George Bush is a good man.”

[applause]

Leno: “Yeah? He did a fine job.”

Miller: “I think, I think he’s a good man and I think he’s done a fine job in these last two years. I don’t think he’s a great man but I would prefer that our President would be a good man because great men tend to believe they're great men and then they end up not being great men any more. I like Bush because he seems like a regular decent guy. And you know what? He’s a big picture guy. Which just shocks me. Because when he first came into the office I think many of us thought that he was the sort of guy who watched television one pixel at a time. But uh, shockingly he’s proven himself to be a big picture guy. I like his sense of humor. At least I hope it’s his sense of humor. I uh, sometimes think it’s Norm Crosby’s sense of humor. But uh, I think the thing I like most about him is that he’s not Clinton. I just think he’s a decent guy. I mean, you know...”

[applause]

Miller: “I’m telling ya when I watch those, the videotape of the retarded kids playing uh, tee-ball on the White House lawn, on the field that he built for them.

Leno: “Yeah.”

Miller: “And I juxtapose it with Clinton and the wocka-wocka porno guitar of the Clinton administration. I just like Bush, he makes me proud to be an American again. He’s just a decent guy.”

Leno: “He is a decent guy. But do you-”

Miller: “And you know what, what? Jay what, what are the Democrats really offering? You know I consider both sides in an election before I vote. I looked at what the Democrats are saying. They’re saying, 'Listen we want more of your money and we’re not really keen on preemptively protecting you from bad guys.' You know what folks? I don’t want the bad guys to have the next move. I don’t want to see two more big buildings blown up.”

Miller soon explained: “Listen, I began to go off liberal America when they insisted to me that Rudy Giuliani was a bad guy. You remember that years ago? How they told us Rudy Giuliani, they always like tinged on the Nazi reference.”

Leno: “Right, right, yeah right.”

Miller: “'He’s a storm-trooper! He’s a bad guy!’ Every time I’d go to New York it was cleaner and safer and I’d think, 'Wait a second how bad a guy can this guy be?’ And now you don’t hearing anybody saying that because it’s been proven out that Rudy Giuliani is a good man....”


After an ad break, he elaborated on Iraq: “It’s not a perfect world. Listen I think Bush’s old man could have ended this whole dilemma in the Middle East around 12 years ago. We were like two exits away on the Jersey Turnpike from croaking this toad and we back off because the coalition doesn’t want us to go up the road. Are you kidding me? The coalition? This better not happen again. You know Tony Blair is a cute kid and one of my favorite Martin Short characters in waiting, but the simple fact is we don’t consult the Brits on anything anymore. We haven’t listened to them since our boys dressed up like the Hakawi tribe and boosted all the Tetley tea in the Beantown Harbor around 200 years ago. I don’t want to ask the Brits what to do here. We gotta assassinate Saddam Hussein. Why have we taken assassination off the table as a viable political tool? And yet they’ll tell you the collateral damage of civilians is acceptable. But you’re not allowed to assassinate the main pain in the ass. My theory is if you have trouble with your conscience pretend you’re trying to kill the guy next to him and think of him as collateral damage, alright?! If that will allow you to get to bed at night.”


[applause]

Miller: “Listen. Negotiating with Saddam Hussein is about as practical as practicing aroma therapy on a French man. Okay? It’s not going to happen.”


Miller took on liberal wimpiness: “You know I find our approach to the, the war on terrorism to be amazingly non-chalant. I mean the simple fact is we are not being protective enough of ourselves. I think that was a mandate yesterday saying, 'Listen! We don’t want these morons trying to croak us!’ You know when the Al-Qaeda made a big mistake? Is when they whiffed that dog on videotape? That got the liberals into it. Because they’re all sitting at home with their Marmaduke day-planner saying, 'Wait a second? They croaked a puppy? Now it’s on mother-[bleeped]!”
[applause]

[Warhead W-88]

Look, I'm sorry if I just cut and pasted too much from that site. I know you've had problems in this regard, but I figure Media Research is ITSELF cribbing from Dennis Miller's NBC appearance, so they can't claim real ownership of a transcript, can they?

Anyway, sorry if that was too much. New here.

[Mugwumps]

How do we send a THANK YOU NOTE to Dennis Miller? BTW, he would make one good FReeper ;-)

Agreed. Dennis Miller needs to be seen/heard more often.

[paul544]

Are we talking about THE Dennis Miller? The raging liberal who was trashing W just last year on MNF? The Miller who trashed ex-Bush? The one who loves KKKlinton?

[DoughtyOne]

Here's the first sequence. I just viewed it twice. Miller's voice softened when he said it, but this is exactly what he said.

Question: What did you think of the SoTU speach last night?

Miller: Bit on Hastert's hair being able to stop a cop killer bullet... Miller: I liked the crux of the speach. Miller: You know what, I'm not a Bush fan. I know you say that in this town and everybody like goes crazy, but how long do we wait with these morons? Miller: Hans Blix to me is like Weapons Inspector Cluseau or something. They're in there foraging around. They're in the Scuby Doo van looking for weapons...

[DoughtyOne]

Here's the first sequence. I just viewed it twice. Miller's voice softened when he said it, but this is exactly what he said.

Question: What did you think of the SoTU speach last night?

Miller: Bit on Hastert's hair being able to stop a cop killer bullet...
Miller: I liked the crux of the speach.
Miller: You know what, I'm not a Bush fan. I know you say that in this town and everybody like goes crazy, but how long do we wait with these morons?
Miller: Hans Blix to me is like Weapons Inspector Cluseau or something. They're in there foraging around. They're in the Scuby Doo van looking for weapons...

[Jeff Chandler]

I don't follow celebrities, so I don't know, but maybe he had a kid and takes life seriously now.