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Dennis Miller on Abortion
http://www.valleyskeptic.com/dm_abortion.html ^

Posted on 01/22/2003 8:00:21 AM PST by no other way out

Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, because basically tonight's topic is a minefield - Abortion. I couldn't be anymore on tiptoes if the show was being produced by George Balanchine. This is the Big Debate, and I'm talking bigger than who was the better Darren on Bewitched. Abortion is our nation's "Final Jeopardy," and I'll wager, Alex, that if our nation fights another Civil War, it will be about this. And I would remind you that this all from my perspective, the male perspective, a one-step-removed perspective, because I will obviously never have to decide on whether or not I should have an abortion. And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow. Having men decide the fate of a woman's reproductive system makes about as much sense as asking Quentin Crisp to coach the Raiders. All right, enough qualifying, let's get on with it. There's no doubt that passions run high on both sides, and this issue has created a divide in this country not seen since Carly Simon last yawned in public. The prevailing opinions on a woman's freedom to choose are going further to the right than a Greg Norman tee shot.

Pro-life activists attempt to paint anyone pro-choice as having no morals. On the other side of the ledger, pro-choicers are tagging pro-lifers as crazed and backward bible-thumpers bent on running the lives of the people who disagree with them. The truth, as always, is, the case of human endeavors lies somewhere in between. As much as the advance scouts on either side of this issue might not want to admit it, good people do get abortions and other good people are pained by their decision to get one.

Where do I stand? Well, I'm like most of you, I presume, I think there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business. Look, there are always going to be arguments on this issue. The debate will rage until the end of time no matter what the whim of the Papal infallibility or the politics of the decade. But the simple truth is, that such a passionate and personal decision dictates that the choice be left to the individual. And you know, that's really all we can do, because we're just human beings, stumbling around in the dark, trying to get to the bathroom and kicking the shit out of our shins on the way there.

Now there's some things all right-minded human beings should agree on. We should all agree that abortions should be legal in the case of rape, incest and when the mother's life is at risk -- that's just common sense. But excluding that obvious assumption, everything else in the abortion arena is "in play." There are many quagmires complicating this issue. Religion. Now it seems that religion is most often the backboard for every bank shot put up by someone making it their business to get into your business. Roman Catholic doctrine forbids abortion. Fine. Take that into consideration when you make your decision. Right-to-life proponents contend that abortion is immoral. Fine. Take that into consideration when you make your decision. Another pothole on the road to a sensible resolution to abortion is "when does life begin?" At conception? When a heartbeat is detected? At the first drawn breath? You know, for me it wasn't until last Tuesday. Until then I was just a sperm with an accountant! Okay, so those are the variables, and there are obviously millions more variables that make each individual case unique. But the more you think about it, and the more it makes your head spin, and the more confused you get trying to figure out someone else's life for them, it becomes increasingly apparent that it has to be the call of the individual who is pregnant, because the collective, one way or another, won't have to suffer the consequences of that most personal of all decisions.

My fellow Americans, it is time to suck it up. Look deep into your immortal soul (if you believe you have one) and do the right thing. Have the courage and strength to live your own life, by your own standards, and stop trying to call the shots for everyone else. We all live with glaring inconsistencies, and sometimes, when you see something going on right in front of you that offends you to the very core of your being, sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away, because you know that's exactly what you would want them to do for you. There's only one judge on all this and that's God. And you don't get to meet him until you go backstage after the play is over. And believe me, you do not want to get a "thumbs down" from the guy who created thumbs, all right? In the interim, everybody has got to tend their own garden vis-a-vis abortion. And remember, when it comes to your body, only you wear the robes, and only you carry the gavel.

Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: abortion
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To: Xenalyte
Exactly, it seems to me like he'd love nothing more than to say he's pro-life, but doesn't want any career fallout, so he goes only as far as he thinks he can. I've begun to enjoy him more as time goes by.
21 posted on 01/22/2003 8:30:19 AM PST by SoDak
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To: no other way out
It is a choice.

Only the mothers of aborted children can hear through the amniotic fluid the baby's screams during their murder, for eternity.

22 posted on 01/22/2003 8:30:43 AM PST by SevenDaysInMay
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To: Xenalyte
I have. Puerile, self centered, banality are the words that come to mind when thinking about it.
23 posted on 01/22/2003 8:32:43 AM PST by Burkeman1
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To: Burkeman1
My apologies . . . it seemed like you were making fun of NOWO, and hadn't realized that the last sentence is actually part of all Miller's rants.
24 posted on 01/22/2003 8:33:29 AM PST by Xenalyte
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To: Burkeman1
Never liked miller,he's about the most un-funny person I've heard. Sounds to me like he's trying to be liked on both sides!
25 posted on 01/22/2003 8:34:23 AM PST by ohiobushman (ABORTION IS MURDER YOU IDIOTS!!!!)
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To: Paradox
One can make a totally non-religious argument agains abortion.

It was Nat Hentoff's writings that finally convinced me to become fully pro-life. Abortion (and the language rationalizing it) is part of the process of dehumanization stretching back for the last 100 years. As Herman Hesse once said, we understand less than ever what it means to be human, and men are shot wholesale as a result...

26 posted on 01/22/2003 8:36:03 AM PST by dirtboy
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To: no other way out
we're just human beings, stumbling around in the dark, trying to get to the bathroom and kicking the shit out of our shins on the way there.

But some of us are more human than others, eh, Dennis? And some - the less human? The un-human? - won't ever have the chance to stumble around in the dark, or grow up, or become comedians or write stupid, mindless rants like this.

27 posted on 01/22/2003 8:36:28 AM PST by mountaineer
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To: jz638; dead
No, it sounds like a monologue he delivered on his HBO show. HBO shows the old ones weeknights, and I saw the one in question within the last few weeks.

28 posted on 01/22/2003 8:38:11 AM PST by Tony in Hawaii
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To: no other way out
And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.

Neither was slavery, but I'll bet he didn't mind that decision to interfere. These people are all the same...they desperately want to moralize, but without actually admitting or lending credibility to natural law.

29 posted on 01/22/2003 8:39:57 AM PST by Woahhs
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To: no other way out
And remember, when it comes to your body, only you wear the robes, and only you carry the gavel.

And remember, Dennis, when it comes to the body of another, we appoint judges to wear the robes and carry the gavel. I don't think you could be arguing that a baby in the last trimester is simply a woman's body part. You're not that stupid. Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

30 posted on 01/22/2003 8:42:32 AM PST by SupplySider
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To: ohiobushman
I don't hate him- just think he is too clever for his own good. He parrots the prevailing wisdom of standard East Coast liberalism with the occassional nod to libertarian impulses and thinks it is "contoversial" and daring.

No- I reserve hate for Michael Moore. Say whatever about Miller but he rarely has ever approached the downright malignant visciousness of Moore's "comedy".
31 posted on 01/22/2003 8:44:51 AM PST by Burkeman1
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To: no other way out
"There's only one judge on all this and that's God. "

I know Dennis spent 6 years in prison so I can't believe he said that.(Maybe he did some thinking in the slammer?) Why do these hollywierd types have to impress us constantly with their superficial opinions on great cosmic religion?

I guess Dennis like most liberals is anti-the-death-penalty. The guilty should be saved from death but innocent babies you can kill.
32 posted on 01/22/2003 8:46:05 AM PST by BeAllYouCanBe (Be All the government allows you to be!)
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To: no other way out
Most people do not take into account the state of the mother when she is newly pregnant.

She is a mass of hormones in rearrangement. And she is justifiably not in her usual mind. She necessarily needs others around her to give her support. She is also easily swayed into making a decision to abort her baby.

This is how a woman thinks when she finds out she is pregnant:

Because of her hormonal state in the first trimester she should not make any major decisions. She should not decide what house to buy or whether to move out of state. And yet, she is sometimes forced to decide whether to abort her baby. I say 'forced' because abortion clinic personel are trained to use psychological techniques in order to make the 'sale'.

So, for a man to say that it's all up to the woman, well, it's nothing but a cop out.

"Honey, you're pregnant? So, what are you going to do about it?"

Just what a woman wants to hear.

33 posted on 01/22/2003 8:48:20 AM PST by Slyfox
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To: dead
I think it's a fake too.

I guess we'll know soon enough if it ever gets posted here

34 posted on 01/22/2003 8:51:01 AM PST by BufordP (Miller's not so bad. He's just understood.)
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To: no other way out
And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business

Yep, so you see, at the end of the day (as they say, he's just lazy and immoral. Run this one just a little differently:

And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of the incidents of child molesting are really any of my business

And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of the incidents of rape are really any of my business

And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of the incidents of theft are really any of my business

Deep stuff, Denny. Deep lazy poop.

Dan

35 posted on 01/22/2003 8:51:02 AM PST by BibChr
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To: no other way out
Don't like Miller never did. He is as funny as a fart in a space suit.
36 posted on 01/22/2003 8:52:56 AM PST by duckman
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To: Archangelsk
"You're bordering on the no-whoopee-for-the-rest-of-your-life line. :-)"

Bwahahahaha.....

My wife, two daughters and son are right now at the pro-life rally in downtown Atlanta.......

Not to worry...I'm very secure in my "whoopee"....

NeverGore :^)
37 posted on 01/22/2003 8:53:15 AM PST by nevergore (Whooping it up in ATL)
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To: nevergore
"Dennis is a self-absorbed apologist who has little moral foundation or talent...just a quick wit and a sarcastic elitist demeanor........"

You certainly hit that nail on the head!

38 posted on 01/22/2003 8:53:31 AM PST by G.Mason
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To: Slyfox
Because of her hormonal state in the first trimester she should not make any major decisions.

HORSESHT! Women have the right to vote, and hence, the responsibility to act as full citizens 24/7. Take that 'hormonal' crap and stick it. I for one am sick of people making excuses for women who want to be taken care of in one breath, and 'run the show' in the next.

39 posted on 01/22/2003 8:56:29 AM PST by Woahhs
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To: Pres Raygun
I agree. The decision on abortion should lie with the one who is most affected by the abortion, the baby. When are we going to let the babies decide whether or not they want to live?

Here is my view of the abortion debate in a nutshell:

A) Nobody would advocate killing the baby after it's born. (Well, hardly anybody but we don't care about them for the moment).

B) Nobody wants to ban condoms. (Well, hardly anybody but we don't care about them for the moment).

C) SO... at what point between A and B do you want it to be illegal? That's the grey area.

Personally, I don't have a problem with wearing condoms, or if my partner took a "morning after" pill.

After 1 month of pregnancy, I still think it'd be ok. After that I'd think it was killing another being.
40 posted on 01/22/2003 8:56:55 AM PST by thisiskubrick (may the running liberal pig-dogs be turned into bbq toasties in the sea of fire)
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