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Dennis Miller on Abortion
http://www.valleyskeptic.com/dm_abortion.html ^

Posted on 01/22/2003 8:00:21 AM PST by no other way out

Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, because basically tonight's topic is a minefield - Abortion. I couldn't be anymore on tiptoes if the show was being produced by George Balanchine. This is the Big Debate, and I'm talking bigger than who was the better Darren on Bewitched. Abortion is our nation's "Final Jeopardy," and I'll wager, Alex, that if our nation fights another Civil War, it will be about this. And I would remind you that this all from my perspective, the male perspective, a one-step-removed perspective, because I will obviously never have to decide on whether or not I should have an abortion. And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow. Having men decide the fate of a woman's reproductive system makes about as much sense as asking Quentin Crisp to coach the Raiders. All right, enough qualifying, let's get on with it. There's no doubt that passions run high on both sides, and this issue has created a divide in this country not seen since Carly Simon last yawned in public. The prevailing opinions on a woman's freedom to choose are going further to the right than a Greg Norman tee shot.

Pro-life activists attempt to paint anyone pro-choice as having no morals. On the other side of the ledger, pro-choicers are tagging pro-lifers as crazed and backward bible-thumpers bent on running the lives of the people who disagree with them. The truth, as always, is, the case of human endeavors lies somewhere in between. As much as the advance scouts on either side of this issue might not want to admit it, good people do get abortions and other good people are pained by their decision to get one.

Where do I stand? Well, I'm like most of you, I presume, I think there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business. Look, there are always going to be arguments on this issue. The debate will rage until the end of time no matter what the whim of the Papal infallibility or the politics of the decade. But the simple truth is, that such a passionate and personal decision dictates that the choice be left to the individual. And you know, that's really all we can do, because we're just human beings, stumbling around in the dark, trying to get to the bathroom and kicking the shit out of our shins on the way there.

Now there's some things all right-minded human beings should agree on. We should all agree that abortions should be legal in the case of rape, incest and when the mother's life is at risk -- that's just common sense. But excluding that obvious assumption, everything else in the abortion arena is "in play." There are many quagmires complicating this issue. Religion. Now it seems that religion is most often the backboard for every bank shot put up by someone making it their business to get into your business. Roman Catholic doctrine forbids abortion. Fine. Take that into consideration when you make your decision. Right-to-life proponents contend that abortion is immoral. Fine. Take that into consideration when you make your decision. Another pothole on the road to a sensible resolution to abortion is "when does life begin?" At conception? When a heartbeat is detected? At the first drawn breath? You know, for me it wasn't until last Tuesday. Until then I was just a sperm with an accountant! Okay, so those are the variables, and there are obviously millions more variables that make each individual case unique. But the more you think about it, and the more it makes your head spin, and the more confused you get trying to figure out someone else's life for them, it becomes increasingly apparent that it has to be the call of the individual who is pregnant, because the collective, one way or another, won't have to suffer the consequences of that most personal of all decisions.

My fellow Americans, it is time to suck it up. Look deep into your immortal soul (if you believe you have one) and do the right thing. Have the courage and strength to live your own life, by your own standards, and stop trying to call the shots for everyone else. We all live with glaring inconsistencies, and sometimes, when you see something going on right in front of you that offends you to the very core of your being, sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away, because you know that's exactly what you would want them to do for you. There's only one judge on all this and that's God. And you don't get to meet him until you go backstage after the play is over. And believe me, you do not want to get a "thumbs down" from the guy who created thumbs, all right? In the interim, everybody has got to tend their own garden vis-a-vis abortion. And remember, when it comes to your body, only you wear the robes, and only you carry the gavel.

Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: abortion
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I guess you had to be there.
1 posted on 01/22/2003 8:00:21 AM PST by no other way out
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2 posted on 01/22/2003 8:02:43 AM PST by Support Free Republic (Your support keeps Free Republic going strong!)
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To: no other way out
I guess you had to be there.

Good thing your mother wanted you, or else you would not have been...

3 posted on 01/22/2003 8:05:35 AM PST by dirtboy
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To: no other way out
Sounds like Dennis is starting to lean to the right in his old age (perhaps he has daughters of dating age now?), and doesn't want to admit it, 'cause that would lose him some cred with the lefties who run his career.
4 posted on 01/22/2003 8:06:30 AM PST by Xenalyte (my boy cat is named after Dennis Miller)
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To: Xenalyte
When Dennis gets a hunting license I'll believe his head is in the right place.
5 posted on 01/22/2003 8:08:15 AM PST by Eric in the Ozarks
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To: Xenalyte
Dennis is a self-absorbed apologist who has little moral foundation or talent...just a quick wit and a sarcastic elitist demeanor........

The issue is simple....and has nothing to do with a woman's body...

Do you believe in killing unborn children or not? Yes or No?

NeverGore
6 posted on 01/22/2003 8:11:37 AM PST by nevergore
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To: no other way out
read later
7 posted on 01/22/2003 8:13:37 AM PST by LiteKeeper
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To: no other way out
But the simple truth is, that such a passionate and personal decision dictates that the choice be left to the individual.

I agree. The decision on abortion should lie with the one who is most affected by the abortion, the baby. When are we going to let the babies decide whether or not they want to live?

8 posted on 01/22/2003 8:16:47 AM PST by Pres Raygun
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To: no other way out
He completely ignores the elephant in the room -

The dead baby.

9 posted on 01/22/2003 8:16:58 AM PST by dead
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To: nevergore
The issue is simple....and has nothing to do with a woman's body...

You're bordering on the no-whoopee-for-the-rest-of-your-life line. :-)

10 posted on 01/22/2003 8:17:07 AM PST by Archangelsk (Freedom is won or lost everyday.)
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To: no other way out
Dear Mr. Miller,

Abortion is not "the most personal of all decisions," unless you also count a desire to murder a child or another adult as being a personal decision between you and God.
11 posted on 01/22/2003 8:18:03 AM PST by lainie
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To: no other way out
I smell a fraudulent rant, well not the rant itself, just who wrote it.
12 posted on 01/22/2003 8:18:23 AM PST by jz638
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To: Xenalyte
Sounds like Dennis is starting to lean to the right in his old age (perhaps he has daughters of dating age now?), and doesn't want to admit it, 'cause that would lose him some cred with the lefties who run his career.

Yeah, he is getting more and more conservative, but he is probably more libertarian than anything else. I understand his position on abortion, I used to hold it as well. The older I get, the more anti-choice I am.

And this thing about Religion being a major crux of this argument... maybe for some people, but it has NOTHING at all to do with me. One can make a totally non-religious argument agains abortion. Which helps nowadays since so many people have been turned off to "organized religion" which is usually a code word for "Christians".

13 posted on 01/22/2003 8:18:45 AM PST by Paradox
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To: no other way out

Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

It is, and you are.

14 posted on 01/22/2003 8:19:14 AM PST by Burkeman1
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To: Paradox
What you said.
15 posted on 01/22/2003 8:20:51 AM PST by Xenalyte
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To: Burkeman1
You've never seen the show, have you?
16 posted on 01/22/2003 8:21:08 AM PST by Xenalyte
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To: no other way out

If Dennis had been around in the mid-1800's, he would presumably have argued that the ownership of slaves should be a personal decision of each landowner.

17 posted on 01/22/2003 8:23:08 AM PST by expatpat
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To: no other way out
In the interim, everybody has got to tend their own garden vis-a-vis abortion

The weakest pro-choice argument of all, i.e., there is no objectively moral position on abortion and everyone should decide based on their individual convictions.

BTW, welcome to FR but I have the feeling I've welcomed you here before over the past few months.

18 posted on 01/22/2003 8:23:45 AM PST by johniegrad
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To: jz638
I think it's a fake too. It's just not funny (aside from that Carly Simon joke), and Miller usually is.

And Miller usually has an opinion. This is just a boring rant about why nobody should have an opinion.

19 posted on 01/22/2003 8:26:03 AM PST by dead
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To: no other way out
And remember, when it comes to your body, only you wear the robes, and only you carry the gavel.

So does the judge who sentences prostitutes and drug addicts for the illegal use of their bodies.

20 posted on 01/22/2003 8:26:20 AM PST by PaulJ
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