[Radix]

A Woman's Facts About Men

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1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is
involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for
marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a
world where there are more women than men, it pays to
recycle.

4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident
that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he
concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he
coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really
in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them
feel important.

6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the
morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with
one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaners.
These men usually have jobs and bathe.

9. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our
relationship." These seven words strike fear in the
heart of even General Schwarzkopf.

10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has
built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it
personally.

11. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits.
Women have two types: depressing and more depressing.
Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

12. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If
your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next
to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

13. Women take clothing much more seriously than men.
I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm
so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man
wearing a black tuxedo."

14. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is
usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches
from the door.

15. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad
contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

16. If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr.
Right," and if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c)
visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The
cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and
butterflies.

17. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary
Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

18. When four or more men get together, they talk
about sports.

19. When four or more women get together, they talk
about men.

20. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has
ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

21. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I
emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are
outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

22. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he
didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die.
He just didn't want to call you.

23. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a
problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again"
might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a
man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry you...
I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.

24. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with
super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they
grow up identifying with Barbie.

25. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With
female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male
menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

26. Men forget everything; women remember everything.

27. That's why men need instant replays in sports.
They've already forgotten what happened.

Woman Author Unknown

[tomkow6]

An oldie, but goodie...........


THE RULES

1. THE FEMALE ALWAYS MAKES THE RULES.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules. Nearly all females are born
with this knowledge.

4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she may
immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. THE FEMALE IS NEVER WRONG.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding, which
was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

7. If rule #6 applies, the male must apologize immediately, if not sooner,
for causing the misunderstanding.

8. THE FEMALE CAN CHANGE HER MIND AT ANY GIVEN POINT IN TIME.

9. The male must never change his mind without the express written
consent from the female.

10. THE FEMALE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY OR UPSET AT ANY
TIME.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants
him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether
or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. Any attempt to change these rules could result in severe bodily harm.




Author Unknown (But obviously, it was a woman)