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An oldie, but goodie...........

THE RULES

1. THE FEMALE ALWAYS MAKES THE RULES.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules. Nearly all females are born
with this knowledge.

4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she may
immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. THE FEMALE IS NEVER WRONG.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding, which
was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

7. If rule #6 applies, the male must apologize immediately, if not sooner,
for causing the misunderstanding.

8. THE FEMALE CAN CHANGE HER MIND AT ANY GIVEN POINT IN TIME.

9. The male must never change his mind without the express written
consent from the female.

10. THE FEMALE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY OR UPSET AT ANY
TIME.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants
him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether
or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. Any attempt to change these rules could result in severe bodily harm.

Author Unknown (But obviously, it was a woman)

A Lesson In Geography
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN:
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia: She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around a fertile delta.

Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan: Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade, especially with countries with cash or cars.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain: Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina: She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia & Argentina: She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada: Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled, but the frigid climate keeps people away.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia: A glorious and all conquering past but, alas, no future.

After 70, a woman is like Albania: Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN:

Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Iraq: Ruled by a dick.