Why Men Are So Damn Cool!!!!

unk | unk | no one has confessed

[Boot Hill]

Why Men are so Damn Cool:

1. Your rear end is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. The garage is all yours.

5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10. Same work .. more pay.

11. Wrinkles-add character.

12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17. One mood, ALL the damn time.

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20. You can open all your own jars.

21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

27. No maxi-pads.

28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.

37. The world is your urinal.

[XLurk]

...only YOU can permit the a bad circumstance to be internalized as stress....

You are correct, of course. This has been the only way I have survived thus far.

There ARE, however, limits to this strategy.
At some point you must radically CHANGE the stress-causing situation. This, I am in the process of doing.

If you are unable to make an unworkable situation workable - after giving it the utmost of your patience, resources and endurance - then ya gotta change the situation. Period.

[Boot Hill]

XLurk says:   "I feel that everyone around me - even society itself - has attempted to thwart, impede, and destroy me."

This is not a good sign.

XLurk says:   "...because we are driven - and frankly, deranged."

Now this is a good sign.

XLurk says:   "I am talking about CREATING something...I am talking about THE CREATION OF TECHNOLOGICAL PRODUCTS - thereby ADVANCING THE HUMAN RACE to higher levels of productivity and experience."

Pardon me, but bull pucky. The ONLY reason to ever go into business is to make money. All other reasons are secondary. When I was a kid, Dad said to me: "Hey Boot, do you know what the difference between an engineer and a scientist is?" No, Dad, what is it? He replied: "The engineer knows the same bag of tricks that the scientist does, except he has learned one extra trick. He has learned how to turn science into gold."

What kind of hi-tech?

--Boot Hill

[GunRunner]

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

Yikes!

[Boot Hill]

Consider CA Hwy 88 to Carson Pass. Glorious high mountain terrain and good XC skiing, with the added advantage of close proximity to the Cutthroat Saloon in Markleeville (when I was your age the saloon had a sawdust floor, spittoons, a real honky-tonk piano and a sign on the wall that said "Buy your fag tags here"). You'd also be real close to Grover Hot Springs where you can sit in a 104º pool while it's snowing on you. Good way to recover from several days of skiing and camping. And if you'd like a little down-hill skiing, Carson Pass is real close to Kirkwood ski area.

--Boot

[Gun142]

Are you chasing me?

[Chong]

LOL!

[Chong]

"We DO know how to answer. It's just that you people don't believe us when we say "nuthin" :)"

hehehe... bbzzzzzzzzttttt! (Wrong answer!) :-)

[Brytani]

Quite frankly - we think you don't think.

[savedbygrace]

I've had the barber since '68.

You might want to rephrase that. LOL.

[FreedomPoster]

ROFLOLPMP!!!

[SierraWasp]

"...thanks to that new grandson."

You need to start another thread entitled:

Why Grandsons Are So Damn Cool!!!

[Centurion2000]

Pardon me, but bull pucky. The ONLY reason to ever go into business is to make money. All other reasons are secondary. When I was a kid, Dad said to me: "Hey Boot, do you know what the difference between an engineer and a scientist is?" No, Dad, what is it? He replied: "The engineer knows the same bag of tricks that the scientist does, except he has learned one extra trick. He has learned how to turn science into gold."

The corrollary to that. Scientists know things; Engineers know where to look things up.

[null and void]

Well, I'm between jobs right now, but when I'm working it's for the grabbermint and my ex-wife. At least they're the ones who get most of my money!

[null and void]

Here in the USA around 90% of all private sector jobs are provided by small businesses. We support the whole damn circus.

WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO KILL US?

Because they are irrational MORONS, that's why.

I like that better than my theory:

Because they are EVIL, that's why.

[null and void]

"Hey Boot, do you know what the difference between an engineer and a scientist is?" No, Dad, what is it? He replied: "The engineer knows the same bag of tricks that the scientist does, except he has learned one extra trick. He has learned how to turn science into gold."

Oooooo! I'm going to use that on my kids!

[sweetliberty]

[Sapper26]

What's cool about men?

A man can drive someplace that he's never been without having to ask for directions.

[Darksheare]

We don't dig the pain thing down that direction.
Summed up in one word: OUCH!

[Darksheare]

Nice rant.
No-one held a gun to your head and forced you to read the thread.
You've been here since '98, if you don't like it, you're a big boy, either don't read it, or split.
That's life.
I've been in a foul mood all week.
But I at least can still laugh even when my world is burning down around my head.
That's character.

[Darksheare]

If he starts talking to himself it's a sign of impending mental collapse.