OK for same-sex marriages sought in N.J.

The Record of Hackensack ^ | 01.15.03

[Coleus]

OK for same-sex marriages sought in N.J.

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

By RUTH PADAWER Staff Writer

More than 200 of the faithful squeezed into the small church hall, applauding wildly as believers offered testimonials of love. One by one, they bore witness to the power of commitments. They were met with hoots and whistles from an adoring flock.

This was no religious revival. Instead, it was a pep rally for gay rights in New Jersey. With a lawsuit pending in state court over same-sex marriage, gay-rights leaders this week unveiled the first of 10 meetings designed to rouse sympathizers from Cape May to Teaneck.

"My name is Alicia and this is my wife, Saundra," said plaintiff Alicia Toby, her hand draped across Saundra Heath's knee, as the crowd broke into applause. For 14 years, she and Heath have been together, raising their children and now enjoying grandchildren. "We pay first-class taxes and we're not going to tolerate being treated like second-class citizens."

Toby handed the microphone to Heath, who hesitated, then blinked back tears. "I'm so nervous," Heath said haltingly. "I want to cry."

From the audience, a man called out, "That's all right. We're all family now."

Monday evening, the mood was jubilant inside the grand mansion that houses Morristown Unitarian Fellowship. Three of the seven couples suing the state sat before an audience shoehorned into the sanctuary's 180 seats. Other spectators leaned against the wall or spilled into the foyer.

The first plaintiff to speak was Maureen Kilian, who squeezed her partner's hand as their two children swung their feet. The children are legally related to each other, and each mother is legally related, through adoption, to both children. But the women have no legally recognized relationship.

"Cindy and I have been together for 28 years," Kilian said, "and we're ready to get married." The crowd went wild.

Lambda Legal - the group suing the state - and the state's Gay Activist Alliance are hosting the meetings to alert their constituents of their plan to push for victories in both the court and the State House. Though the approach is two-pronged, the message Monday night was singular: get involved.

"It is our responsibility as activists and members of the community to support both the judicial and legislative fight," said Laura Pople, head of the New Jersey Lesbian and Gay Coalition. "We are urging people to stay informed, get active, and be ready to respond."

As plaintiffs talked, volunteers worked the crowd, collecting signatures on petitions, and addresses for mailing lists for legislative alerts. The plan is to turn constituents in every legislative district into soldiers in the battle for civil rights and to reach out to other New Jerseyans.

"I'm your neighbor next door," Toby urged people to say. "I ride the bus with you, I sit next to you at lunch. ... I am the face of gay and lesbian America."

The suit was filed in June in Hudson County and is moving to Mercer County at the attorney general's request. It argues that denying same-sex couples the benefits and responsibilities of marriage violates their constitutional right to equal protection and privacy. The state's first response is due at the end of the month; the case is expected eventually to reach the state Supreme Court by mid-2004.

The state's position is ironic, said Mark Lewis, an Episcopal minister in Secaucus who is a plaintiff with his partner of 10 years, Dennis Winslow, another Episcopal priest.

"The state of New Jersey believes we are perfectly fit to officiate at wedding ceremonies," he said. "But it says we are not fit to be married ourselves. It's saying, 'You're good enough to work for us, but you're not good enough to receive what we have to offer.'"

Same-sex marriages are not legal anywhere in the United States, though gay activists have filed lawsuits in several states. In Vermont, gay couples are allowed "civil unions," granting them some benefits of marriage. In Hawaii, the court ruled that same-sex couples had a right to marry, but voters intervened, amending the Hawaii Constitution so state legislators could limit marriage to a union between a man and a woman. In New Jersey, constitutional amendments are more difficult to obtain, but Lambda is leaving nothing to chance.

"It's possible to win in court but not in the court of public opinion," said Michael Adams, Lambda's lawyer for the case.

Already, several traditional-values groups have vowed to fight the suit, though they have called no public meetings and filed no papers with the court.

"If people want to live together outside the common code of marriage - that is, between one man and one woman - that's their prerogative," said Len Deo, head of the New Jersey Family Policy Council in Parsippany. "But marriage is the one institution that supports the family and once you start redefining all these relationships, it becomes a mess."

On Monday night, gay-rights leaders urged support for a bill that Assemblywoman Loretta Weinberg, D-Teaneck, has promised to introduce, providing some marital benefits to adults living in an "emotionally and economically committed relationship."

The plan would cover not only same-sex couples, but also heterosexual couples, such as senior citizens who live together but avoid marriage because it would reduce their Social Security benefits. But it would not change responsibilities toward children, and would not confer joint-property status.

By evening's end, 217 people had signed the petition. The mailing list grew fat, too. Several couples wore wedding bands; a few talked of longtime engagements that will proceed no further until same-sex marriage is allowed. Outside, cars in the parking lot bore bumper stickers with slogans of the movement: "Hate is not a family value."

[Coleus]

Judge Bork predicted this in his book, "Slouching Towards Gomorrah: Modern Liberalism and American Decline"

Only in NJ

Assmenblywoman Loretta Weinberg again

[Coleus]

Another Post with NJ Assemblywoman Loretta Weinberg, the consummate, ultra, Left-wing liberal Democrat!

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/822863/posts

[Coleus]

The state's position is ironic, said Mark Lewis, an Episcopal minister in Secaucus who is a plaintiff with his partner of 10 years, Dennis Winslow, another Episcopal priest. >>>>

They must be followers of Bishop Spong.

[GovernmentShrinker]

Get government out of marriage. Totally out. Free citizens of a free country should be able to make their own family arrangements without government interference. Just think, all those cohabiting senior citizens who might like to get married but can't afford to since the government would cut their social security benefits, would be free to march down to their local church and get married.

[Coleus]

The problem with this is that we were made to reproduce and we can't if governments and societies allow this.

Also, you will have to take into account the extra financial ramifications in running a business, life insurance and government now with extra spousal increases in health insurance, benefits, survivor benefits with life insurance and with survivor benefits with Social Security.

[Incorrigible]

The state's position is ironic, said Mark Lewis, an Episcopal minister in Secaucus who is a plaintiff with his partner of 10 years, Dennis Winslow, another Episcopal priest.

:-) Another special bump for you Val! :-)

[Coleus]

This Loretta Weinberg turned out to be some left-wing activist and ideologue: Bashing Bush with FDA appointments, gun control, smart gun technology, gay marriages, ballistic fingerprinting for gun barrels, etc.

[TightSqueeze]

Just think, all those cohabiting senior citizens...

Does this behavior fall under the current sodomy laws? If so, jail them geezers, if only for their own good of course.

Your (prying) Neighbor.

[Thoro]

Get government out of marriage. Totally out. Free citizens of a free country should be able to make their own family arrangements without government interference. Just think, all those cohabiting senior citizens who might like to get married but can't afford to since the government would cut their social security benefits, would be free to march down to their local church and get married.

It's been my opinion that government is involved because marriage is supposed to create more taxpayers.

[GovernmentShrinker]

Huh? People won't be able to reproduce if government doesn't regulate and register marriages? What planet are you on? Child support, custody, and inheritance decisions have been based on genetic parentage, not parents' marital status, for many decades now. Ironically, the ONLY exception has been where a man who is married (or in some states, if the court finds a "common-law" marriage) is forced to pay child support for a child that isn't genetically his, but rather was the result of the wife having an affair.

And all those "extra financial ramifications" you list are just the result of more unconstitutional government meddling. Why should any employer be required to pay any of its employees anything other than money as compensation for their work? Let people buy their own benefits. And if an employer chooses to provide medical insurance or other benefits, the terms should be entirely up to the employer. Survivor benefits on many life insurance policies can go to whoever the insured designates, and all policies should be like that. Same with social security -- as it stands now, the government confiscates your money and then decrees that when you die, survivor benefits have to go to your spouse, even if s/he took of years ago and shacked up with someone else and resisted divorce proceedings with threats of retaliation. You might prefer that your survivor benefits go to your hard-working adult child or nephew, who's struggling to find a new job in tough economic times or needing financial help so that one parent can stay home iwth a young child. But tough luck, the government knows best what should be done with your money.

You sound like you've been living on the nanny state's leash for so long, that you can't imagine being set free.

[GovernmentShrinker]

More accurately, it creates opportunity for the government to extract more tax revenues from the same number of taxpayers. Witness the infamous "marriage penalty".

[Coleus]

Let people buy their own benefits.>>

Good point!

You sound like you've been living on the nanny state's leash for so long, that you can't imagine being set free.>>

They've got a choke chain around me, help!

[valkyrieanne]

:-) Another special bump for you Val! :-)

Well ... (putting on asbestos slicker and overshoes) ... at least they want to get *married...*

[Incorrigible]

LOL!

[GovernmentShrinker]

Some companies already offer some types of benefits on a "cafeteria" plan (you get X number of dollars with which to buy into company benefit plans, but you get to choose which ones -- some even offer pet insurance), but most if not all states continue to impose heavy regulations and onerous tax coercions on employers re medical insurance. The cafeteria plan could work quite well with medical insurance included, and provides all the convenience and economy of group coverage plans, without the element of coercion and forcing people to subsidize the personal choices of others. For example, a married employee with a chain-smoking, heavy drinking spouse is entitled to inflict this individual's expenses on the group plan, driving everyone's costs up, but another employee (single or married) is not entitled to put their healthy, responsible, hard-working graduate student adult offspring, or their healthy responsible temporarily unemployed sibling, on the plan.

[John O]

Oh where to start...

"I'm your neighbor next door," Toby urged people to say. "I ride the bus with you, I sit next to you at lunch. ... I am the face of gay and lesbian America." I'm as ugly as the south end of a north bound pit bull, I do unnatural things with other ugly women and I corrupt children whenever they are exposed to me.

The suit was filed in June in Hudson County and is moving to Mercer County at the attorney general's request. It argues that denying same-sex couples the benefits and responsibilities of marriage violates their constitutional right to equal protection and privacy.

None of these perverts has been denied the right to marry. They have the same exact right to marry as I do. What they don't have is special rights to have their perversion legitimized by social recognition

The state's position is ironic, said Mark Lewis, an Episcopal minister in Secaucus who is a plaintiff with his partner of 10 years, Dennis Winslow, another Episcopal priest.

An episcopal priest performing abomination. He's headed on a fast track to hell. How can he be a priest and not read the bible?

"The state of New Jersey believes we are perfectly fit to officiate at wedding ceremonies," he said. "But it says we are not fit to be married ourselves.

And again he has the same right to marry that I do. He doesn't deserve special rights.

[John O]

Government exists to provide for the betterment of life for all it's citizens. On prerequisite of a better life is a better next generation. Children as best raised in a home where their father and mother are married to each other. Government encourages the production of the next generation of citizens by protecting the marriage contract.

[GovernmentShrinker]

This doesn't do a thing for all the kids born outside of marriages, and/or within marriages between irresponsible people, and those are where the real problems lie. There is no evidence to suggest that getting government out of the marriage business will have any negative effect on those families with meaningful marriages that contribute to good child-rearing. Those people have better reasons for running their lives the way they do, than some government-issued license (the same license issued to "J-Lo" and her past and future "husbands", to Cher for her 8-day marriage to Gregg Allmann, to Elizabeth Taylor and her dizzying series of 8 husbands, and countless non-celebrities who seek to legitimize their flimsy fleeting useless-to-society relationships by getting government-issued "licenses" for them).

[tessalu]

America is headed down the road to become like Sodom. There was a time when God asked if he could find 10 righteous men in that place, and it is so sad that we have not learned anything from that lesson. Wickedness is taking over and the rest of us are going to pay the price too, I fear. Men have not wanted to retain God in their image, and they will be given over to a reprobate mind.