(HUMOR) "How Many North Koreans Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?"

http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Korea/DL20Dg01.html ^

[AmericanInTokyo]

Anyhow, as I was saying, :how many North Koreans does it take to change a lightbulb?" Take your pick:

A: 56. The heroic people's detachment to storm the lightbulb heights (10); the relevant Party section (20); a propaganda art troupe to play light music (25); and a solidarity delegation from Belarus (1).

A: Go out and read under the streetlight like everyone else, comrade. If you can find one working.

A: None. The DPRK wants for nothing. Our lightbulbs, made in our own peculiar style, fully satisfy our people's taste. Only a traitor would seek to change them. When the arduous march is over and the US imperialists defeated, then we shall switch on one, two, many lightbulbs in a blaze of glory.

A: As the Great Leader taught: "Early to bed and early to rise, 20-watt bulbs can damage your eyes." Now off to sleep with you. An empty stomach is good mental training. Tomorrow is another day.

A: As the 'Dear Leader' taught, in his on-the-spot guidance at the Ryanggang No 69 Lightbulb Works: "Whoa, you're a bright one. Bet you gotta lotta watts. You sure turn me on. Light my fire, baby!"

A: Everything is illuminated by the sun's rays of the great Juche idea! We have no need of lightbulb.

A: The lightbulb is a primitive relic of outmoded feudal society. Socialism demands its replacement by the progressive fluorescent tube. Under the Five Year Plan we shall make millions. Eventually.

A: What is a lightbulb, please?

A: Our People's Army will thoroughly smash the perfidious imperialist plot to stir up lightbulb envy, which is nothing but a base ruse to poke searchlights into the DPRK and ferret out state secrets.

A: Only one - but Kim Jong-il must really want to change.

(©2002 Asia Times Online Co, Ltd. All rights reserved. Please contact content@atimes.com for information on our sales and syndication policies.)

[AmericanInTokyo]

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[dfwgator]

They'd probably eat the lightbulb first.

[tacticalogic]

A. None - You can't "change" what you only have one of.

[anniegetyourgun]

First you have to admit that you need a change?

[Eric in the Ozarks]

We don't make light bulbs at the People's Great Pachinko and Indoctrination Works.

[McGruff]

Don't forget what these maggots would like
to do to our country.

A poster image of missiles attacking the
U.S. Capitol building hangs on a wall of
a shoe factory in Sinuiju, in North Korea,
Wednesday, Sept. 25, 2002.

The Korean characters read ''If someone
starts an invasion war, we will crush the
U.S. bastards first.'' (AP Photo/str)

[MattinNJ]

Rumsfeld said in an interview that when you view the Korean Peninsula at night the South is lit up like a Christmas tree while the North is almost totally dark. You can literally see the difference between communism and capitalism from space.

[Hoplite]

I'm reminded of a conversation I had with a North Korean guard in Pan Mun Jom back in the Winter of 90/91 - the long and the short of it was that he told me that every home in North Korea had a Soda Machine (we were talking about the can of Coke I was drinking at the time).

More sad than anything else - these guys would spend their days punching a wooden post wrapped with rope during the daytime and then sit shivering under blankets in their guard towers at night - every now and then one of them would come out as I checked the area around our guard posts and talk at me - this was the only time I talked back, and judging from the conversation, I wasn't missing much.

[dfwgator]

The environmentalist whackos would love North Korea. No light pollution.

[AnAmericanMother]

Here 'tis:

The World From Space

If you look just to the left of Japan (far right), North Korea is so dark that South Korea looks like a brilliantly illuminated island between Japan and mainland China . . .

[Cicero]

How many North Koreans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1. Two - one to screw it in, and a second to hand out leaflets.

2. One, but it takes him about 30 years to realize that the old one has burnt out.

3. One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to
establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to
force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and
one to surreptitiously dial an '800' number to order an
American light bulb.

4. None, the seeds of revolution and change are within the light
bulb itself.

5. Two: One to screw it in and the other to check it for
microphones.

6. 10,000 - to give the bulb a cultural revolution.

7. One to screw in the bulb and a thousand to chant "Fight
Darkness!"

[Guillermo]

That pict's been posted several times on here.

Of course, lefties say its a good thing, because they aren't contributing to Global Warming.

[Steel Wolf]

I noticed recently that on the Army website (www.army.mil) that the very top has a banner of the entire world, in the same manner as that satellite map. You can clearly see on the far right the black hole that North Korea causes.

South Korea looks like an island. (Of course, if the North keeps this up, it will be an island.)

[Poohbah]

A poster image of missiles attacking the U.S. Capitol building hangs on a wall of a shoe factory in Sinuiju, in North Korea, Wednesday, Sept. 25, 2002.

Hey, isn't that where Chiun is from?

[Darksheare]

A: "The Light of Communism will shine in place of the bulb!"

[Cogadh na Sith]

Were you up at JSA? I was at Cp Greaves 92/93.

What a surreal place.

[Cyber Liberty]

A trick question. They aren't "light bulbs", they're dark suckers.

[Chancellor Palpatine]

The brilliance of the ideas which flow like so many blessings from Our Great Leader cause such spontaneous joy in all of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea that trees and flowers bloom out of season, septic pits smell sweet, and lightbulbs spontaneously regenerate, eliminating all need for change. The vile, imperialist pig-dogs of the South, the puppets and lackeys of the fascist, imperialist American running dog of a Capitalist Bush see this, and through traitors and spies remove the good for their own use, and replace them with inferior models made through slave labor in their beleaguered lands.

[PsyOp]

"because they aren't contributing to Global Warming."

I don't know about that. Rumor has it that eating Kimche produces large quantities of methane.