[MindBender26]

Von Dollin's Mechanical Maxim:

"In times of automotive emergency; any tool at hand becomes a hammer."

[js1138]

There are only two kinds of screwdrivers: the kind you have, and the kind you need.

[Britton J Wingfield]

Which one wrote that, George Carlin or Ted Nugent?

[Lou L]

"Those who snore loudest, fall asleep first."

[Chancellor Palpatine]

Tequila makes you bulletproof.

[Bob]

There are three kinds of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. :=)

[Alberta's Child]

17. Baseball has it all wrong -- A man with four balls cannot walk.

[BlazingArizona]

There are 10 kinds of people in this world - those who understand binary and those who don't!

[genefromjersey]

One might add a few :

Urinating into the wind can create that " not quite fresh " feeling.

Clearing your sinuses while clearing your bowels is not advisable.

Unwanted guests are always the last to leave.

[genefromjersey]

One might add a few :

Urinating into the wind can create that " not quite fresh " feeling.

Clearing your sinuses while clearing your bowels is not advisable.

Unwanted guests are always the last to leave.

Careless and inept physicians usually make up for their shortcomings by displaying extreme promptness in billing.

[mil-vet]

If you think things are going well, you've obviously overlooked something....

[commandante_zero]

And some others:

-Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

-Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

-The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a "do it yourself" thing.

-There is always one more imbecile than you counted one.

and....

-One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

[lds23]

Think of all the accidents you never hear about because they don't happen.

[bruin66]

The other line moves faster...

[Chemist_Geek]

It's not the bullet with one's name on it that one has to worry about; it's the one addressed to "To Whom It May Concern" or "Occupant" that one has to worry about.

[muir_redwoods]

"Time flies like an arrow

Fruitflies like a banana"

[Johnny Gage]

Exception to Murphy's law on Airports:
The longer distance to your gate, the less time you have to get there.

[AppyPappy]

FR Laws:

1. If you got it in email, it's already been posted.

[Revolting cat!]

All things go on sale the day after you bought them!

[Revolting cat!]

Here's a law I discovered last summer shooting 40+ rolls of file:

Interesting things happen after you have pressed the shutter.