Posted on 11/26/2002 12:33:12 PM PST by Liz
1. A .44 Magnum beats four aces.
2. Psychiatrists say that one of four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.
3. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
4. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
5. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
6. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
7. Given an open-book exam, you will forget your book; if a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
8. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
10. Gresham's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
11. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
12. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
13. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.
14. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
15. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
16. Paranoids are people, too. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid, too.
1) Tracers work both ways
2) Always remember that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder
Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!
And therein lies your problem (in bold above!)
The thing that scares me is: What if Osama bin Ladin just happens to be the first woodpecker which has come along in a very long time?
Whenever your Sunday newspaper is missing a section it's always the one that's most important to you.
Whenever you take public transportation in a foreign city, you always end up going in the wrong direction first!
1. Never tell everything you know.
Around the corner, there is always a moneychanging office or bank that offers a better exchange rate.
The typos appear after you click "Post".
DOH! Now I know what's wrong with my life.
2) Never play cards with a guy they call "Doc"
3)When the label says "DRY CLEAN ONLY"-- they weren't kidding.
4) Guys: Avoid any woman whose father still calls her "Princess".
Gals: Avoid any man who goes shopping with this mother.
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