POINTS TO PONDER: The 16 Known Facts of Life . . .

[Liz]

1. A .44 Magnum beats four aces.

2. Psychiatrists say that one of four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.

3. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

4. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

5. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

6. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

7. Given an open-book exam, you will forget your book; if a take-home test, you will forget where you live.

8. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

10. Gresham's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

11. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

12. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

13. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.

14. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

15. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

16. Paranoids are people, too. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid, too.

[lds23]

Think of all the accidents you never hear about because they don't happen.

[kcamtx]

The degree to which people are staring at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

[Dark Knight]

There are two types of people in the world: those that believe there are two types of people, and those that don't!

DK

[bruin66]

The other line moves faster...

[b4its2late]

Good one. And true too. Been there, done that.

[Dead Corpse]

The person tailgating you in traffic is always a "maniac", while the slow poke in front of you is always a "jackass".

[Chemist_Geek]

It's not the bullet with one's name on it that one has to worry about; it's the one addressed to "To Whom It May Concern" or "Occupant" that one has to worry about.

[ofMagog]

Try these.

[muir_redwoods]

"Time flies like an arrow

Fruitflies like a banana"

[Johnny Gage]

Exception to Murphy's law on Airports:
The longer distance to your gate, the less time you have to get there.

[ofMagog]

Don't leave things unfinishe

[AppyPappy]

FR Laws:

1. If you got it in email, it's already been posted.

[Revolting cat!]

All things go on sale the day after you bought them!

[Revolting cat!]

Corollary to the above:

You run out of things, or they break the day after they go off sale!

[Revolting cat!]

Here's a law I discovered last summer shooting 40+ rolls of file:

Interesting things happen after you have pressed the shutter.

[Jarhead_22]

If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.

[Revolting cat!]

40+ rolls of photographic film, you dummy!

[Zon]

Falling from the roof doesn't hurt -- smashing into the ground does.

[Paulus Invictus]

This one really works: If you arrive early at the airport and get one of the coveted unreserved seats (Southwest Air) near the front of the plane, the security people are sure to pull you out of the line for a complete electronic wanding and shoe removal. You will then take the last seat on the plane. Happened to me twice on my last trip and I don't even look like an Arab terrorist.