[Paulus Invictus]

This one really works: If you arrive early at the airport and get one of the coveted unreserved seats (Southwest Air) near the front of the plane, the security people are sure to pull you out of the line for a complete electronic wanding and shoe removal. You will then take the last seat on the plane. Happened to me twice on my last trip and I don't even look like an Arab terrorist.

[Revolting cat!]

Happened to me twice on my last trip and I don't even look like an Arab terrorist.

And therein lies your problem (in bold above!)