What Reasons Will Loonie Left Use To Excuse The Sniper? Post Your Idea Here

[Doctor Raoul]

The loonie left is having a mental meltdown because the sniper doesn't fit the knee jerk stereotype liberals have of conservatives. It wasn't an angry chain smoking meat eating white Southern Christian Republican male.

It looks like it's an Islamo-fascist who if he hadn't been caught, would surely have joined their "Hate America" rally this Saturday.

They're already making excuses. So post what you think they'll use as an excuse here here.

Best guess wins a cup of fair trade, organic, shade grown coffee from a Berkeley Starbucks.

[tet68]

Any word on which one of my guns they'll be trying to ban over this?

All of them.

[Oldeconomybuyer]

Post-pardon depression.

[Doctor Raoul]

If I win, do I actually have to go to Berkeley to pick up the cup of coffee???

Yes and Al Gore says pedal. No internal combustion engines allowed.

[LurkedLongEnough]

The pledge of allegiance has brainwashed us all into thinking that these suspects are anti-American.

[alancarp]

It's gotta be retaliation for NASA having EITHER faked the moon landings OR enviro-trashed that rock in space by leaving a bunch of equipment up there.

[Lockbox]

The new Black Panther party said Bush "encouraged" the sniper

Damn, missed it...........

[Poohbah]

Why don't one of you FR infiltrators go over there and announce that Farrakhan is starting a recruiting drive for the Fruit of Islam?

Gee, I always thought the "Fruit of Islam" was an Iranian gay rights group.

[Doc Savage]

Well, let's run down the endless possibilities....

1. If the bullet don't fit, you must acquit!! (My favorite!)

2. The Twinkie defense.

3. Mother was a dope-smokin hooker. Father unknown!

4. Where's my 72 virgins???

5. Hey, I was just kiddin'!

6. George Bush is the REAL criminal, fry him, not me!

7. If Gore were President I'd be given a Cabinet post!

8. It's Society's fault.

9. It's the Republican's fault!

10. Sue the public school system for its failure to properly educate me!

11. The Jews shot these people, not me!

[Doctor Raoul]

As we speak, a Frenchman is feverishly writing the last chapter of a book showing how Bush/Cheney/Rummy put the guy up to it.

The French are our allies. As we speak, a brigade of French paratroops are dropping on Baghdad. Their mission? Show the Iraqis how to surrender.

[katana]

He didn't get his reparations money yet.

I think we have a winner.

[Lazamataz]

The excuse will be, these men were disenfranchised from their vote in Florida in the Bush/Gore election.

[alpowolf]

LOL! If you're gonna hire a teacher hire the best!

[Poohbah]

Actually, I like the al-Qaeda-is-a-CIA-black-op paranoia running around on DU.

Of course, Shrillary! will blame the FJBs :o)

[carlo3b]

The real Dragnet will commence now to find the real culprit, the white supremacist that Pi$$ed him off and created these victimized stereotypes. I'm waiting for the media to tie this to the military and the increase in spending by the Bush administration! ...waiting.... developing

[Doctor Raoul]

These people hand us a gem at least once a day.

As a kid we called them "doggie diamonds".

How many f-words in it?

[big gray tabby]

Anger over "stolen election."

That was easy.

[VMI70]

Paid by a white guy

[strela]

What Reasons Will Loonie Left Use To Excuse The Sniper?

10. What did Bush know? And how did he know it?

9. Steven the Dell Spokespunk told him to do it during a mescaline trip.

8. Once saw "Funny Girl," and is angry that Babs is now getting dissed by the English-speaking world for being a wackjob.

7. Post-traumatic voter stress syndrome left over from Election 2000.

6. "Bet you honkies won't be laughing NEXT TIME Brother Jesse brings up reparations!"

5. The shooter's natural reaction to a hanging chad in a municipal election.

4. Temporary dementia brought on by having to drive a Chevrolet Caprice (currently being recalled for blowing up like sweaty dynamite when hit from the rear).

3. Understandable, free-floating frustration about The Man.

2. Couldn't get DSL service in his underserved, low-income neighborhood.

And the Number 1 Reason ...

1. Shiny objects distracted him from not gunning down people.

[section9]

Ah, the possibilities that DU might come up with...

1. If Gore were President, the snipers would have surrendered to him after the first day.

2. If Gore were President, the snipers would have worn Birkenstocks.

3. If Gore were President, the snipers would be Angry White Males.

4. If Gore were President, we would have killed bin Laden by now.

5. If Gore were President, then snipers would be ducks (as in, "noose").

6. If Gore were President, the snipers would have surrendered to Martin Sheen.

Any takers?

Be Seeing You,

Chris

[OldDominion]

The press will blame it on the "incredible despair they felt" when their brothers in Iraq were being "targeted" for attack by the "American Imperialists"