Posted on 10/22/2002 11:24:51 AM PDT by shrinkermd
You are clearly not a sophisticated, thinking person, don't you know all the best and brightest have been married and divorced several times just ask Larry King. /sarcasm
And believe me, I still have male friends which I respect and care deeply for, but as far as letting one into my life, into my home, and into my son's life...no way! Not in a million years!
Sorry to tell you this, but in the fullness of time your son will become what you hate and fear. A man.
They get in the habit of telling their kids what to do,and they go right on giving orders when you're out on the town with them.
Yes,it's understandable,and a small dose of it is sort of endearing,but a whole evening of it is a bit much.
What about those of us that grew up watching Leave it to Beaver, Roy Rogers, The Lone Ranger, My Three Sons, Andy Griffith etc... Those were solid, values oriented shows.
No Legal Representation....
False Accusations....
Freedom wrongfully taken away....
America's Divorce Courts, what me worry?
Close, but try this....There is no such thing as true love in a community property state....
The financial dissolution of a marriage should be treated like the financial dissolution of a business: each partner gets out financially what they paid in financially, with no "credits" for anything: if one marital partner's income paid for 90% of the house, that marital partner is entitled to recoup 90% of the value of the house in the event of a divorce.
The risk is asymmetrical. Women often suffer in a divorce, it's true, but when they walk out they're gambling with his money and years of his career, not their own. They know they will be the ones to maintain custody of their children, and that they will have powerful control over the ex-husband's access. They'll likely get the house they now live in, especially if there are kids. With social barriers to divorce eliminated, it's not surprising so many women find this arrangement acceptable and split.
So marriage is a huge risk for a man. So, if you're going to take it, you ought to be able to answer a simple question: why?
I hate to say it, but it's not usual to find women who inspire the sort of trust the whole thing requires. I date a lot, and I find too many women who simply want a different lifestyle than the one they have. They seem to look at a future husband as not just a person with certain qualities, but a door into a new lifestyle: a husband provides them with things, money, social status, a family, and if she's lucky travel and other luxuries. It's understandable that these things matter, but so many women can't help but show they want these things and they want them now. The women I meet who are right about thirty are this way, at least. Too often they will express frustration way too soon in a relationship about how men won't "commit" and give them what they want.
I can't help but feel resentful. What were you doing in your early and mid-twenties, I wonder. And what's with the thought that now I'm going to fix all these problems now that time's running out? The women I have dated have been attractive, educated, and intelligent. They've also told me in great detail about the "jerks" they dated before. So they had opportunities to make things work out, but I can see what's happened. He wasn't "good enough", she was just so excited about X who was married, he was too "boring", she didn't want "to commit", whatever. Now, though, that they've been frightened by the calendar I'm supposed to make it all right. And I'm the "jerk" now if I don't commit right away!
What I'm saying is that a surprising number of women have a powerful sense of entitlement. They take for granted a man's willingness to support them and provide them the life they want. When they're younger, and in the bloom of youth, they have a wealth of options and feel no need to commit. When they're older, they figure all they need do is demand what they want and it ought to come to them. Either way, yikes! This is someone you want to entrust the state's powers of enforcement to when it comes to your future?
Not all women are this way, of course, but I'm telling you what I see a lot. Me and my friends.
I could write a lot more, but I've gotta run.
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They were screwing around. Now they want out for a little rest and a sucker to provide a temporary nest to rest in.
It's just many of these men are looking for love in all the wrong places.
Then there are the cranky ones who just like to fuss about women, i.e., women don't know how to be a proper wife, feminists ruined them all, they take half your money, wah, wah, wah.
Feminists never ruined me. My first husband not only wanted a proper wife, he wanted me to bring home all the bacon to boot.
And these guys never talk about the men who leave their loyal, loving wives for the young honey. I wonder if it's ok to accept half the man's money if that's the case.
I think the trick is finding someone that you can agree with on the most important things and find that out before marriage.
I'm just so grateful for wonderful men like you and my husband, REAL MEN! :-)
Love your HMWHC pic HLL! LOL
Maybe that's part of the problem, men think someone like Pamela Lee Anderson is their soulmate.
Maybe then you'll meet your perfect soulmate. I don't think there are perfect soulmates, you have to find someone compatible and work things out. People get set in their ways though, it's easier for people if they marry young and grow together.
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