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The Dowd Rule
National Review Online ^ | 10/17/02 | Mark Goldblatt

Posted on 10/17/2002 6:18:41 AM PDT by WarrenC

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September 17, 2002, 9:00 a.m. The Dowd Rule Words to read the New York Times by.

By Mark Goldblatt

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, who once upon a time was a clever little girl, but who's been running on fumes since roughly the last presidential election, nowadays can hardly write 600 words without a gratuitous swipe at George Bush's supposed lack of intelligence. In her honor, therefore, I would like to name the Dowd Rule. To wit: No one who thinks George W. Bush is stupid is as smart as George W. Bush.

Now of course "stupid" and "smart" are unavoidably subjective attributes (if objective stupidity did exist, however, its poster boys would surely be the head bangers in those Coors Light commercials), so in that sense the Dowd Rule is neither verifiable nor falsifiable — and, thus, according to the tenets of Logical Positivism, ultimately meaningless. So I offer it not as a scientific principle but rather as a manner of solace, a quiet place to which folks (to use one of the president's favorite words) can retreat from the snide obtuseness of Bush's detractors who cannot grasp the concept that polysyllabic flourishes do not always signify extraordinary critical aptitude or even common sense. (Witness, for example, Logical Positivists.)

Honestly, I don't know where Bush ranks in terms of gray matter against past presidents. What I do know is that he's perceptive enough to hire the strongest team of speechwriters since the Kennedy Administration, and he's secure enough to surround himself with folks (again!) like Dick Cheney, who whipped the butt of certified Democratic smarty-pants Joe Lieberman's in their only debate, like Donald Rumsfeld, a no-nonsense hawk who scares the bejeebers out of America's enemies, like Colin Powell, a charismatic moderate and diplomatic "good cop" to counterbalance Rumsfeld's "bad cop," and like Condoleezza Rice, who, in 2008, will likely become both the first African American and the first woman elected president of the United States. (For the record — and you heard it here first — she'll skewer Hillary, platitude by platitude, in a series of Nielson-bonanza debates and take the election in a landslide, thus officially dragging America out of the Clinton Era, that 16-year stretch of moral manure we collectively stepped in back in 1992.)

But to return to the issue of intelligence, or lack thereof, it is symptomatic of the intellectual state of the Left — and Dowd is its great exemplar in this respect — that rhetorical disdain has come to substitute for rational criticism. In just the last several weeks, she's belittled Bush as a latter-day character from the Beverly Hillbillies, as "the Boy Emperor" who needs a Rumsfeld-esque spiritual guide to explain foreign policy, as one of "that small coterie of bewildered guys [who confronted the hipness of the 1960's college students] in wide-wale corduroy trousers, Izod polo shirts and Sperry Topsiders," as "Junior" whose foreign policy is driven by his fear being called a "wimp," and as a desperate son whose goal is to "transform Baghdad into 'Hey, dad, that dude is history.'"

The problem with this sort of writing is that it's free-floating sarcasm. There's no substance underneath except for Dowd's conviction that she can peer into the souls of her political adversaries in order to discern their true motivations. In this respect, she is simply Al Franken with a bigger vocabulary or Michael Moore with table manners. (Quick aside on Moore: Flip through his book next time you pass it on a shelf. Note the SENTENCES IN CAPITAL LETTERS. Note the preponderance of exclamation points! In the current climate, Moore is a wobbling monument to the false impression that mouthing egalitarian clichés from the Sixties constitutes a reasoned worldview; in a more literate time, Moore would pass for a JERRY SPRINGER GUEST!) Dowd, Franken, and Moore, taken together, represent the evolutionary spectrum of a new species of elitists. Elitism, to be sure, is as old as human society. But never in recorded history has a less cerebrally, morally, or spiritually elite Elite looked down their noses at the majority of their countrymen. The minimum requirement for membership in the intelligentsia used to be, well, intelligence. This is no longer the case. Rather, what is now required is the mere sense of your own superiority, the smirky confidence that flows from an undergraduate grasp of history, philosophy, and literature, and which can only be sustained by a maniacal deafness to counterarguments. Listening to your political opponents is deadly under such circumstances; they must therefore be dismissed, a priori, as stupid.

This is a corollary, not a mere a reiteration, of the case against the liberal media brought, intemperately but devastatingly, by Ann Coulter in Slander. (Coulter versus Dowd, by the way, would be an even worse massacre of a debate than Condi versus Hillary because Coulter would have no mercy.) The problem isn't that the new elites are consciously attempting to paint whoever disagrees with them as stupid; it's that they really believe that only stupid people could possibly disagree with them.

They are blind, in other words, to the fundamental truth that stupidity is not a function of what you believe, but why you believe what you believe. Do your conclusions follow logically from sound premises? Or do they consist of knee-jerk responses that defy analysis? (Is it possible, for example, to hold an informed opinion about the Supreme Court's decision in Bush v. Gore while not recognizing the names Marbury or Madison?) Do your conclusions coalesce into a defensible politics? Or do they begin to contradict one another in application? (Is it possible, for example, to applaud the boycott of South Africa for apartheid while condemning the boycott of Iraq for genocide?) By these criteria, there's not much of an I.Q. gap between the rubes hopping around the Montana woods sporting camouflage fatigues and toting copies of The Turner Diaries and the rubes hopping around the Soho bar scene sporting multiple piercings and toting copies of The Village Voice. The groups are, in reality, intellectual mirror images. Both worship ill-defined notions of individual freedom, both are filled with irrational rage towards the government — which both view as malevolent and conspiratorial — and each group feels oppressed, in some vague though palpable way, by the other. Indeed, the only significant difference between the two groups is that the Soho crowd pays considerably more for their clothes.

If Dowd ever recognizes the true nature of stupidity, she may ratchet down the sarcasm and actually write something worthwhile again.

— Mark Goldblatt's novel, Africa Speaks, is a satire of black hip-hop culture.


TOPICS: Editorial
KEYWORDS: catherinezetajones; georgewbush; intelligence; maureendowd; zetajones
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To: LisaFab
------>

Spooky, isn't it? Give Maureen another 20 years, and she will look just like Helen. Schadenfreude!

21 posted on 10/17/2002 7:49:04 AM PDT by Miss Marple
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To: WarrenC
When Maureen's idol V.I. Lenin died his brain was dissected and sliced into millimeter-thick cross sections. The communist elite wanted to see if he had an unusually large brain, as would befit such an intellectual giant. It turned out to be of average size, but displayed evidence of advanced syphilis infection. Perhaps Maureen should visit her doctor.
22 posted on 10/17/2002 7:52:09 AM PDT by hang 'em
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To: taildragger
Bingo, We did hear it here 1st, Section9 are you out there? Also What is The Authors screen name here on the Freep! He is either one of us or a Lurker!!!!!

Yeppers. I read it and agree.

Be Seeing You,

Chris

23 posted on 10/17/2002 7:52:33 AM PDT by section9
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To: Miss Marple
"as she gradually becomes the Helen Thomas of her generation"

If I had pictures of both side by side to post outside my house, I'll scare everyone this halloween! Maybe someone could Morph them together for an even more horrifying image!
24 posted on 10/17/2002 7:57:21 AM PDT by NYTexan
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To: WarrenC
KEYWORDS: CATHERINE ZETA JONES;...

Now that's funny!

25 posted on 10/17/2002 7:58:00 AM PDT by gridlock
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To: gridlock
Ah, that reminds me. Keyword ZETA JONES turns up a few more.
26 posted on 10/17/2002 8:01:25 AM PDT by dighton
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To: NYTexan
See my post 21. Heheheh.
27 posted on 10/17/2002 8:03:46 AM PDT by Miss Marple
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To: Miss Marple
Jane, Jane, it's almost lunchtime here on the East coast - how could you?

Schadenfreude is a wonderful and healthy emotion, especially when directed at those who use it as a life/career tool.

28 posted on 10/17/2002 8:05:43 AM PDT by LisaFab
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To: Miss Marple
This wasn't the way things were supposed to turn out for her. Maureen really thought she was going to marry Michael Douglas and queen it over everyone at her high school reunion. Instead, she must attend alone and endure the pitying looks of those less brilliant classmates who have happy lives. All the columns and Pulitzer prizes will avail her nothing as she gradually becomes the Helen Thomas of her generation.

Beautifully said! You make me almost (but not quite) feel sorry for Maureen.

29 posted on 10/17/2002 8:06:39 AM PDT by FairWitness
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To: gridlock; Slip18
KEYWORDS: CATHERINE ZETA JONES;...

Now that's funny!

Thanks gridlock, LOL...

30 posted on 10/17/2002 8:08:40 AM PDT by NeoCaveman
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To: gridlock
An unintentional funny - I have no idea how Catherine Zeta Jones and Zeta Jones got included in key words. Oh well.
31 posted on 10/17/2002 8:15:37 AM PDT by WarrenC
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To: okie01; Dog Gone; BibChr; Nita Nupress; Abundy
Ping - the best condemnation of the modern liberal media that I have seen in some time.
32 posted on 10/17/2002 8:22:25 AM PDT by dirtboy
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To: NYTexan
Maureen longs for the rapist to be back in the Whitehouse.

She is not happy with Gore in 2004. She likes Kerry and Edwards but they are not well known.

Frustrated, she writes drivel hoping to ridicule Bush.

Sad... so sad. Her next stop may be The Brattleboro Retreat or The Institute of Living.

Fine accomodations for a person of her caliber... or lack of.

33 posted on 10/17/2002 8:34:53 AM PDT by johnny7
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To: Bahbah; WarrenC; maxwell; All
I think you will enjoy this.

Yes. Good article. Thanks for the post and the pingaroo !

Honestly, I don't know where Bush ranks in terms of gray matter against past presidents. What I do know is that he's perceptive enough to hire the strongest team of speechwriters since the Kennedy Administration, and he's secure enough to surround himself with folks (again!) like Dick Cheney, who whipped the butt of certified Democratic smarty-pants Joe Lieberman's in their only debate, like Donald Rumsfeld, a no-nonsense hawk who scares the bejeebers out of America's enemies, like Colin Powell, a charismatic moderate and diplomatic "good cop" to counterbalance Rumsfeld's "bad cop," and like Condoleezza Rice, who, in 2008, will likely become both the first African American and the first woman elected president of the United States. (For the record — and you heard it here first — she'll skewer Hillary, platitude by platitude, in a series of Nielson-bonanza debates and take the election in a landslide, thus officially dragging America out of the Clinton Era, that 16-year stretch of moral manure we collectively stepped in back in 1992.)

But to return to the issue of intelligence, or lack thereof, it is symptomatic of the intellectual state of the Left — and Dowd is its great exemplar in this respect — that rhetorical disdain has come to substitute for rational criticism. In just the last several weeks, she's belittled Bush as a latter-day character from the Beverly Hillbillies, as "the Boy Emperor" who needs a Rumsfeld-esque spiritual guide to explain foreign policy, as one of "that small coterie of bewildered guys [who confronted the hipness of the 1960's college students] in wide-wale corduroy trousers, Izod polo shirts and Sperry Topsiders," as "Junior" whose foreign policy is driven by his fear being called a "wimp," and as a desperate son whose goal is to "transform Baghdad into 'Hey, dad, that dude is history.'"



Pulitzer prize winning columnist Maureen Dowd,
captured in a candid moment


(Dowd --- as you may have noticed from the Constitution's Viewpoints page,
                             which sometimes uses her columns --- enjoys tongue-in-cheek writing. The
                             day before George W. Bush's inauguration last month, the Constitution
                             published a column where she made up quotes from an inaugural planner
                             about how the Bush campaign wanted a return-to-the-Confederacy theme for
                             the festivities. It was intended to be funny. Some readers took it seriously. I
                             had to tell them it was a joke, just not a very good one.)

                             

34 posted on 10/17/2002 8:42:05 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP
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To: dirtboy; dead
Took me a moment to get into his rhythm, but thanks to you, I did! It is a wonderful piece. Thanks. So many quotables!

Dan

35 posted on 10/17/2002 8:46:11 AM PDT by BibChr
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To: WarrenC
BTTT
36 posted on 10/17/2002 8:56:47 AM PDT by livesbygrace
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To: Miss Marple
Deep in her heart Maureen resents the fact that Laura Bush, the quiet librarian, captured the heart of the fraternity president while she, vivacious and intellectual Maureen, looks across the city room at R.W. Apple and Adam Clymer.

LOL too horrible a fate even for her.

37 posted on 10/17/2002 9:01:21 AM PDT by 91B
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To: xsmommy
Condi Vs. Dowd?

i would pay $$$ to see this!

Heck, Freepers would fill Yankee Stadium at $30/head for this match.

Of course, it would get old when Dowd would counter by saying, 'That's dumb', 129 times.

38 posted on 10/17/2002 9:10:58 AM PDT by TC Rider
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To: johnny7
"a person of her caliber... or lack of."

Seems she still gets attention by IMUS on PMSnbc.
fitting for that station though.
39 posted on 10/17/2002 9:14:20 AM PDT by NYTexan
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To: dirtboy
The author's premise seems to be:

The media elitists are not so much biased as they are not so smart.

He's got a point.

The Mainstream Media:
IGNORANCE ON PARADE

40 posted on 10/17/2002 9:16:38 AM PDT by okie01
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